Delivery Boy
by freakinscarykid
Summary: Zoro is a delivery boy, and Sanji places orders online. When the website goes down Sanji has to place an order in person. Soon after he finds himself visiting the store to place more orders than usual.
1. The Delieveries

Chapter One: The Deliveries

[-]

Zoro yawned as he made his way out of the house still only in boxers, with his hair sticking in different directions as he lazily sauntered his way to the curb, barely awake. It was trash day, and it was his sole duty to take the garbage to the curb. He had left the garbage bags pile by the door so today he had to carry all four bags. He lifted the trash bin lids, dropping the trash for the dump truck to pick up.

He made his way back into the house after getting the mail and picking up his tenant's newspaper from the driveway. He had to step over Sprinkles just to get inside, who had the habit of sleeping right by the door. It was like he waited there just to try and trip him over. He heard the sound of heavy boots making their way down the stairs and saw Perona dressed in her usual Gothic Lolita attire, ready for the day.

"Zoro! Did you really just walk outside in your boxers?" she shrieked as she looked him over. "And why aren't you dressed yet?"

Zoro yawned, dismissing her as he walked past her and made his way up the stairs. He heard sounds in the kitchen; no doubt breakfast was being made. It smelled pretty good too.

"Where are you going?" Perona asked, hoping he was heading to his room to change.

"Pre-breakfast nap," he mumbled.

"But breakfast is almost ready," she said. They needed to eat and leave in an hour. If he took a nap now they would never make it on time.

He was half way up the stairs, he was so close to his bed, he could almost feel it. "I'll eat after my nap."

Perona was about to argue with him when they heard a voice call for the kitchen.

"Roronoa! Girl! Breakfast is ready. Get down here."

Perona smiled at Zoro, knowing he couldn't worm his way out of something when it was the landlord giving the orders. Zoro groaned and climbed down the stairs again, him and Perona walked into the kitchen together and took their seats at the table. They both greeted the man by the stove who was serving them their breakfast.

"Good morning!" Perona smiled sweetly, taking the plate of pancakes that was offered.

"Good morning," Mihawk answered dully, sitting down at the round wooden table on either side of them.

"Mihawk," Zoro nodded, taking his plate as well.

"Roronoa," Mihawk said as he folded a napkin on his lap. Zoro looked over at Mihawk, who was wearing his fluffy wine red robe again. Living with Mihawk for a year and knowing him half his life did little to change the fact that he couldn't help but stare every time he wore something like that. "Quit gawking Roronoa." Mihawk said, taking a sip of his coffee. "You're in no position to stare, you're the one eating at the table in your underwear."

Zoro shrugged and continued eating, vaguely listening to Perona's ramblings about something or other. He knew Mihawk didn't pay much attention to her either, and he was dead sure Perona knew that but that never stopped her from yapping her gums away.

Mihawk eyed Zoro after wiping the corner of his lips. "You should get dressed. Don't want to be late for work Roronoa."

Zoro smirked and leaned back in his chair, having finished his meal moments ago. "It's ok. My boss gets in way later than me. I can take my time."

Mihawk didn't look amused. "You have to open up the shop Roronoa. Don't be late."

Zoro's smirk never left his face. "I haven't been late so far."

Mihawk narrowed his eyes. "Your boss might consider firing you."

Zoro still had that smirk on his face as he picked up his and Mihawk's dishes, leaving Perona's. She was a slow eater to begin with, but she also talked so much she sometimes forgot to eat. He put the plates in the sink and went to his room to get ready for work.

[-]

The car ride was noisy as usual. He always turned on his radio, hoping to drown out Perona but somehow her shrill voice always seemed to be louder than his music. They both were riding in his truck with the windows down, and Zoro really regretted turning on the radio because now Perona was singing at the top of her lungs in that voice of hers that made Zoro cringe and recoil, earning stares from the cars that passed by them.

He got them to work in record time and parked outside of Kuraigana Bouquets, never so happy to get out of his car. He had sped to work, not wanting to listen to Perona's singing any longer than he had to. Locking his car he made his way over to the small flower shop on the corner where they both worked.

He got his keys out of his pocket and kneeled down in order to key the lock while Perona tapped her foot impatiently behind him. He lifted the steel rolling doors and walked inside, turning on the lights. Him and Perona began to set up the arrangements on the stands, taking out the birthday cards and other special occasion cards and placing them on the table where the cash register was.

After they were both done with that he went to the two rooms behind the cash register and opened the doors. Perona went to the room on the right and began to set up her workstation where she made the flower arrangements. The room on the left was their boss's office. Zoro stepped inside and turned on the coffee machine to make a fresh brew that was located on the table near the window, overlooking the store.

"Zoro!" Perona's voice drifted from the other room. "Did Fullbody want a Morning Melody Rose Bouquets or an Enchanted Rose Bouquets?"

Zoro grumbled. "Hang on, I haven't even turned on the computer yet!" he went to register and turned on the PC. He scrolled through the lists of orders that were placed and found Fullbody's order. "He wanted Never Let Go Poppies," he briefly wondered how she could have gotten so badly confused. "Why couldn't _you_ check?" he yelled over his shoulder.

"You were closer!" she said, coming out from the back to stand behind him. "And could you open the closet for me?"

Zoro got out the keys again and went to open the supply closet where Perona kept her scissors, vases, ribbons, candles, candle rings, Styrofoam balls and sheets, picks, and other things he didn't care about but that she apparently needed to make the arrangements.

She got out the vase she needed for the Poppy arrangement and the rest of her supplies, smiling at him. "Thanks."

He shrugged and walked to the computer to check for the other orders. He smirked at the familiar names. Duval, Fullbody, and Sanji.

Those guys were hopeless. They sent flowers almost every week. Especially that one Sanji guy, he was the worst one of all. He seemed like a real character, always sending flowers to the same set of women who usually groaned or sighed when they received the flowers.

He was truly amazed that he could remember so many women's birthdays, anniversary of meeting them, or congratulating them for the raise, for the new home, for the new job. Anything that happened in their lives was a reason for him to celebrate it seemed. And of course, send them extravagant flower arrangements.

The guy must have made mad money to order so many flowers every few days; the arrangements weren't exactly cheap. But what was more ridiculous than the amount of times that he ordered flowers what the guy would write in his cards. It was hilarious.

Zoro had never read any of the cards before on a moral principle, but once he heard Perona giggling in the back and she had called him over telling Zoro he had to read the card. He had refused at first, but she had eventually convinced him to read it after catching a glimpse.

Needless to say, ever since that day Perona would call him over as she wrote the card in her smooth cursive, written with a sparkly pink gel pen so they could both read and laugh at what this guy Sanji had written together. It was always some real gut wrecking declaration of love that made that made both Zoro and Perona uncertain if they should laugh or puke. But the best part of it all was that the guy always singed it, 'Prince.'

He printed out their orders, along with the message needed for the card and made his way to Perona's workstation, handing her the list. She looked it over then told Zoro. "I'll have them all ready in an hour. Oh, and go get the two blue vases, the round clear one, three green square ones and the yellow cylinder vase from the supply closet, I need those."

"That's your job."

"Well you have nothing to do now, just get it."

"I got to sweep the floors and turn on the sprinklers."

"That takes like five seconds," she pouted. "Do it for me please?"

He groaned and went to get it; he might as well. He carried the vases she needed and brought it to her, then went to the back to get the broom. He was in the middle of sweeping the floor when Mihawk walked in, who was wearing one of his flower printed shirts again. Made of silk. He wondered where he found those shirts, and if they were even meant for men.

"You get my coffee ready?" Mihawk asked him, strolling past him briskly.

"Yeah," he confirmed, following after Mihawk.

"Orders?"

"Seven, three of them from the regulars."

Mihawk nodded and sat in the leather chair in front of the desk. "Tell Perona to get them all ready, I want the deliveries to go out before noon."

"She's already working on them, and she's said they'll be ready in an hour."

Mihawk settled his hands, one on top of the other on his desk and looked at Zoro. "Make sure you don't get lost this time, it seems the GPS I got you works for nothing."

"Not my fault it doesn't work."

"Your navigation skills are the ones that don't work. Quiet frankly, I would have Perona make the deliveries if you weren't so incapable of making arrangements."

Zoro glared, but he wasn't about to deny that one. Plus, it wasn't like he wanted to argue that he was real good at making flower arrangements anyways.

"Try to be back within two hours this time. I want you to deliver the ones that are ordered later in the day before your shift is over."

He only nodded and left, checking the computer again to see the places where he had to go. He recognized a familiar name. Nami. Even he didn't need his GPS to find her.

[-]

Of all the chicks that Sanji guy sent flowers to, she was probably the one who got the most annoyed by the arrangements. He walked into the bank where she worked and headed to where her desk was. She looked up with her customer friendly smile and then realized it was just Zoro so she went back to her normal face. She gestured to the corner of her desk and then to the two chairs in front of her desk.

He placed the Daisy Wonders down gently on her desk where she had pointed to. He then took a seat, delighting in the fact that he didn't have to say the obligatory, "a delivery for you!" lines to her, since she told him never to do it again since the first time. He had taken a liking to her since then, though they got into the occasional argument.

"Sanji again?" She asked dully, writing something down on paper.

"Who else sends you these huge flower arrangements?"

She frowned. "I wouldn't mind if it were from someone else."

She lifted her head from her work and looked it over and opened the card, reading it before giggling and handing it to Zoro to read. He leaned back in his chair and pretended to read it for the first time. After re-reading it he chuckled. "Why does he call you a swan all the time?"

She shrugged. "Beats me. He just does." She filed the paper away and sat there looking bored again.

He made himself comfortable; having sat there so many times, her boss didn't even care anymore. He and Nami would chat most days, unless it was busy and she waved him away, but the bank was pretty empty. "So how many more orders you gotta make today?"

"You're the last one for now," he took off his baseball cap and scratched his hair. "But I gotta head back soon, my boss called saying they had some orders while I was gone, so I gotta deliver those."

She smiled. "Sounds fun, driving around. Better than being in an office all day."

Zoro smirked. "But you're surrounded by money all day."

She laughed. "You got a point there." She then looked at Zoro. "Has he delivered anything to Robin recently?"

After delivering flowers to her and Robin so many times he had found out they were friends, close friends actually. He hadn't known until Nami invited him to go drinking one night and Robin had met them at the bar. From there he hung out with them regularly, never meeting this Sanji guy once. Nami often wanted to get a break from him, though it did make Zoro a little curious about him.

"Last time was two weeks ago, why do you ask?"

"She started dating some guy, just curious if he still sent her flowers. But her birthday is coming up, so I figured he might have placed an order for that."

"He probably will," he mused, then he smirked at Nami. "Maybe you should get a boyfriend, then he'll stop sending you so many flowers."

She rested her chin in her palm. "Nah, I like being single. It means I get to flirt with who ever I want," she giggled and stuck her tongue out at him.

He shook his head and stood, picking up his cap and putting it back on. "I should go," he looked at her and couldn't help but tease. "Same time next week?"

Nami groaned, turning back to her computer and waving a hand, not even looking at him. "Bye Zoro."

[-]

Shanks walked in, waving at Zoro wildly with that huge grin of his that made Zoro wonder how he could be so happy. Zoro waved back, it was his boss after all; Kuraigana Bouquets was owned by both Mihawk and Shanks. Shanks walked over to him and asked Zoro how he was doing, as Zoro was in the middle of mopping the floor. After the usual greeting Shanks made his way to his and Mihawk's office.

The only thing that made Zoro more curious as to why he was always so happy was how he was friends with old Hawk eyes. They were nothing alike, and yet, they were best friends. Though he sometimes had suspicions that that wasn't the entire story. Shank's son walked in later, waving madly just like his old man and running up to Zoro. "Hey Zoro!"

Zoro looked him over. "Are you ever in school?"

"I go!" He argued, which did little to make Zoro think otherwise.

Zoro nodded. "Sure. I see you here almost every week."

Luffy smiled, hugging Zoro's middle. "But it's always fun to hang out with Zoro!"

Zoro smirked. "Wanna help me make deliveries?' He didn't even have to ask; he knew Luffy would say yes no matter what.

"Yosh! It's always fun to ride in your car!"

"Yeah, just don't stick your head out the window this time, you almost took out that lady's side mirror."

"But she was the one driving too close to your lane," he said, looking at him with a stern look. "It was her fault."

"Whatever, just keep your head inside the car; I don't need your brother calling me asking me why you almost died and whether or not you behaved."

"Ace worries too much."

"Not enough really."

"Hey!"

"Zoro! Get over here!"

Zoro raised an eyebrow, wondering why Shanks was calling him. He hoped he wasn't calling him in to compare muscle definition again. He shuddered at the memory. He walked into their office, Luffy behind him. "You called?"

Shanks was hunched over Mihawk who was sitting in his black leather chair, looking a little annoyed that Shanks was hovering over him. They were both staring at the computer screen on Mihawk's desk, Shanks' eyes squinting as he stared, Mihawk giving the screen a hard glare. When Shanks spotted Zoro he waved a hand at him, beckoning him closer. "Come look at this."

Zoro hesitated in taking a step closer. "It's not porn is it?" he asked warily, Luffy looked wide-eyed as he looked over Zoro's shoulder.

Mihawk shot him an angry look while Shanks laughed his ass off, slapping Mihawk's back in good humor, moving Mihawk back and forth a bit when he did so. "Not this time kid, come take a look."

Zoro, relieved he wasn't going to see naked people again, stepped in behind Mihawk and peered at the screen. Luffy decided he couldn't see so he climbed on Zoro's back to get a better look.

"That's the Kuraigana Bouquets' website, what about it?" he asked, looking at Shanks.

Shanks shook his head. "This is supposed to be a website for a flower shop! Why does it look so dark and gloomy?"

Zoro cast a gaze at Mihawk, and then all eyes went to him. "I designed it a while back," he said, looking angry with all the attention he was getting. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"It's for a flower shop!" Shanks cried out, motioning to the screen.

"We have already established that."

"It's supposed to look more," he paused, looking for the right word. "Floral, isn't it?"

"There's a rose in a corner," Mihawk stated, pointing to the screen. Zoro had to agree he made a point.

Shanks' mouth dropped. "But the background is all black, and there's only one rose and its blood red. It should look friendly," he was waving his hands in the air, trying to make emphasis on his words. "And maybe a little gayer."

"Gayer?" Mihawk gave him a look, his thin eyebrow inching higher on his forehead.

"Happy. And that kind of gay too, I mean it looks like a layout an emo kid would have for his live journal or something."

Mihawk considered this for a moment, when Luffy cut in. "Yeah! It should have white! And pink!" he was trying to climb higher on Zoro's back to give his input. "And yellow and red!"

Zoro grunted and Luffy scrambled behind him, it was like having a monkey on his back. "Quit squirming back there."

Mihawk stared the screen with an intense stare, then looked at Shanks. "I suppose you want to fix it."

Shanks practically beamed. "Oh you thought of me! How sweet! Of course I'll do it! Anything for a pal!" he said, punching Mihawk's arm, who didn't have a reaction to it at all.

"Just have it ready as soon as you can," Mihawk said, then looked to Zoro. "Do you have suggestions Roronoa?"

Zoro shrugged. "Just make easy tabs for making an order and make the number and directions here real noticeable, I always get calls from stupid people."

Shanks put an arm on Mihawk's shoulders. "I can do that!"

"Oh," Zoro said, almost as an afterthought. "And don't ask Perona for help. She'll just tell you to make it all pink."

Shanks nodded. "Got it."

Luffy's arm that was around Zoro's neck tightened in excitement. "Oh! Can I help?"

"Of course you can!" Shanks smiled.

Mihawk and Zoro felt a little worried.

[-]

That night, the three of them sat on the couch watching a movie that Mihawk had rented. Zoro and Perona had been in his room, Perona walking in like she usually did to talk when Mihawk ordered the two of them to watch it with him. Perona always got excited about movie night, something Zoro couldn't say for himself. Mihawk's taste in movies was so bizarre and unlike his own.

Zoro sat there in the middle of the couch between the two, grumbling and a little disturbed when he shouldn't be, since he had seen the sight so many times.

On his left, Mihawk was in his fluffy wine red robe again, his arm positioned on the armrest and looking like a stone statue while holding his red wine in hand. On the right Perona was sitting in her shorts and a tank top, a pajama set that had teddy bears on them, with her feet curled under her as she leaned on Zoro.

The only thing the two of them had in common was that their faces were covered in some green stuff, which Perona explained was an exfoliating facial cleanser. Zoro had no problem with Perona having it on her face, she was a woman after all, but Mihawk was a different story. They had their faces completely covered in it, the skin around their eyeballs untouched. But Mihawk had a little border around his beard; and it made him look really, _really _weird.

Perona had tried to convince Zoro to put on the facial cleanser as well, claiming it would be good for his skin, but he was firm in his repudiate. There was no force on earth that would ever convince him to put that shit on his face, no matter how much it would, 'help his pores.'

Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, watching the previews before the movie started, looking over to see the black cat on Mihawk's lap. He hated that cat. It was bad enough it was named Dracula, but that cat seemed like the spawn of the devil its self. Perona thought it wasn't cute enough and when she tried to put a pink collar on its neck it scratched her arms and hissed at her before disappearing around a corner. Since that day Perona hated him too.

Half its tail was missing; it walked with a limp, hissed at anyone except Mihawk and seemed to see right through your very soul. It had been run over by every car in the state and still managed to survive. It was a black furry cockroach. It was pure evil, but for some reason it was really loyal to Mihawk.

Mihawk had his regular stone face as he stroked the cat, who looked just as deadly at its owner. It gave Zoro the creeps. Zoro turned his head away and tried to pay attention to the screen, wondering why Mihawk didn't watch this with Shanks instead of them. He was sure Shanks would love watching it with him, so Zoro wasn't all too sure why Mihawk insisted that he watch, _I Love You Phillip Morris_.

It was the first time Mihawk had picked a movie remotely close to romance. Usually he picked horror or dramas, but this movie was a bit comical too, something Zoro hadn't expected. Jim Carrey's character, Steven Russell, reminded him of Usopp a little.

Even Zoro had to smirk when Cleavon played the song _Chance's Are_ after Phillip Morris paid him ten dollars and cussed at the guards when they yelled at him to turn it off. "NO MOTHERFUCKER! MY WORD IS MY BOND BITCH!"

[-]

The phone was ringing. Again. It hadn't even been five minutes since that last call. He gritted his teeth. He hated answering the phone. Ever since the website had been down, Shanks declaring it would be the world's prettiest and best website the world had ever seen, the world would weep upon seeing it (it seemed Luffy had invited Usopp over one too many times), Zoro had been answering phone calls all day.

He answered the phone, much to his dislike. "Kuraigana Bouquets. This is Zoro speaking, how may I help you?"

"Oh hey," it was another male voice. "I wanted to order some flower arrangements for a beautiful woman, but I noticed your website was down."

"It's under construction now," Zoro repeated for the billionth time that day. "But we are still taking orders sir." He had checked the site himself, it very clearly said orders could still be taken, and the number was just below. But for some reason people still mentioned the site was down. As if Zoro wouldn't know.

"Excellent. It's her birthday on Thursday and I wanted to give her a spectacular arrangement, one only meant for her."

Zoro furrowed his eyebrows, somehow this cheesy-ness he was hearing was familiar to him. "Well we have birthday specials, Roses, Daisies and Lilies are popular. We also have pink carnations, chicks love those."

"No!" the guy on the other end said suddenly. "It has to be special!" He sighed, "I can't do this, I need to see the arrangements myself."

"Sir, you could always come in. Our directions are listed on the website."

"What time do you close?"

Zoro tried not to bark at the idiot, for that too was listed. "5:00 p.m."

"Hmm, I think I can make it before then. Kay, that's all bye," and hung up.

Zoro went back to work making deliveries here and there. He managed to make them all before 4:30, which gave him plenty of time to clean up before closing.

He was mopping the floor when he saw a suited blond walk his way to the entrance. Zoro cursed under his breath, he was hoping no more customers would come in before closing. He had spent all day talking to customers, and he really hated talking.

"Roronoa, customer."

[-]

He was overly relieved, he managed to make it on time. It was 4:36, twenty-four minutes before closing. He had to speed through the freeway to get there, but it was worth it to get Robin the best flower arrangement ever.

It looked like a nice enough place, it was small but well kept. The exterior was white, the place looking like a giant gazebo with walls. There were pots all around the outside and with some flowers hanging from the roof. He smiled and made his way to the door, seeing a guy moping the floor.

He could see him clearly; mopping and his head turned a bit to look at the back of the store. He was pretty tall, probably his height or taller. Sanji raised an eyebrow at the guy's appearance. He had green hair for starters, and three earrings dangling form his left ear, and on the bulky side. What he was doing working at a flower shop when he looked like he would be better working in a fitness store or a junkyard, he couldn't say.

He walked in between the pillars, noticing they had rolling steel doors instead of traditional doors, and heard the guy bark over his shoulder. "I can see that Mihawk!" He then put the mop aside and made his way over to greet him like nothing had happened. "Hi. Welcome to Kuraigana Bouquets. What can I do for you?" he asked, looking like he wanted to do anything at the moment but help him.

The guy was wearing combat boots and a white t-shirt with the words, 'Violence' written across his chest. Was the place in so desperate need of a worker they hired Rambo? And he didn't notice until he was close, but he had a pretty nasty scar going down his left eye. The color in his left eye was a little duller than his right, but not by much. He wondered if he could see out of it.

Sanji shook his head and managed a smile, always the polite one. "I called earlier about the birthday arrangements, I was wondering if I could take a look at them."

The guy looked so dead serious, like he had nothing in life to make him the least bit excited. He only nodded and walked towards the desk where the register was. "You can take a look at the book if you want. There's more of a selection there than the ones we have in the display rack."

Sanji followed him, taking note that the guy was an inch taller than him. Damn. But he still had no idea what this guy was doing working here. The seaweed head took out a book and flipped it open, then pointed to the page. "These are the birthday arrangements, but you could get ones from the different sections, weddings and what not, you just need to change the card."

"Well duh," he smirked, then looked down.

He could tell the guy wanted to cause him bodily harm at the comment but had controlled himself. He ignored him and looked at all the arrangements, then began to mutter to himself. "No, these won't do. She deserves much better."

He flipped a page. "My beautiful Robin-chan deserves something more special than this."

At the words Robin-chan Zoro knew who was in the store. It was the famous 'prince' himself. He had to contain his chuckles. Sanji kept flipping through the pages, then found one he liked. "I like this, but could you get a purple vase? That's Robin-can's favorite color."

Zoro nodded. "Yeah, it costs like five bucks more, but you could do that."

"Anything for my lovely Robin-chan!" Sanji smiled, clasping his hands together with a love struck look on his face.

Zoro could see why Nami groaned whenever she received flowers from the guy, he was really annoying. And loud. He would get along well with Perona. Zoro took out the planner, which was used to write down the information he needed. "This is for Robin I presume," he smirked. "Where do you want it delivered?"

"At her job, 458 Garden Oasis, same city and zip code as here."

Zoro nodded, writing it down. "What do you want written on the card?"

"Dearest Robin-chan," Sanji sighed, and continued to sprout total bullshit left and right, making Zoro write everything down even though Zoro glared at him in a vain attempt to get him to stop. And again, he signed it 'Prince.'

Zoro's hands hurt by the end of it. "It's gonna come out to $86.34. How do you want to pay?'

Sanji took out his wallet. "Debit card." He paid, and waited for his receipt, eying the green haired guy. He wasn't able to contain his curiosity any longer so he blurted out. "You don't look like the flower kind of guy."

The guy eyed him. "I'm not."

"Do you," Sanji paused. "Make the arrangements?" he inquired.

The guy burst into laughter. "No way!" he took a moment to catch his breath. "I make the deliveries. Perona, she's in the back," he stuck a thumb towards the behind the register. "She makes the arrangements."

Sanji sighed, then laughed himself. "That's good. I was worried for the arrangement. No offense."

The guy smirked. "Don't worry about it."

Sanji liked this guy; he was real easy going despite the gruff exterior. He stuck out a hand, "Sanji."

Zoro almost told him 'I know' when he realized how creepy that would have sounded he stuck out his hand. "Zoro."

They stood there shaking hands and smiling at each other when Mihawk then chose to walk out of his office. He eyed them both, then turned away, making the situation seem more awkward that it really was. They quickly let go of each other's hands.

Sanji coughed. "That your boss?"

Zoro was staring at the direction where Mihawk had left. "Yeah. Ignore him, he's just," he paused. "Strange."

"Says the one with green hair." Sanji chuckled.

"At least I don't have funny eyebrows," Zoro said, almost in disinterest.

"Excuse me?" he snapped, not believing someone would say something like that to a customer.

Zoro looked at him in the eye, looking at him like he thought he was completely stupid. "You heard me."

Sanji gritted his teeth. "You have no right to insult my looks! You dress like G.I. Joe and work at a flower shop!"

He was starting to take back what he had previously thought about liking the guy. He was such a rude asshole. And talk about sensitive. He had said the hair thing as a joke. Though he was just as sensitive about his eyebrows, but that was different.

Zoro glared. "And I suppose you think you're all high and mighty, Mr. Prince?"

Sanji hated the way Zoro had said prince, in that mocking tone. It hurt more because he was the only person to ever call him that, even if he was making fun of him.

"Don't call me that! Only the ladies can call me that!"

Zoro snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure there's flocks of them calling you that."

"What would you know you tasteless bastard!?"

"More than you pretty boy."

"Shove it you steroid injected freak!"

"Make me you scrawny wimp."

"Oh that's it! I'm kicking your ass!" he tapped his shoes on the cement floor, ready to aim his kick at that ugly green hair of his.

"I'll love to see you try blondie."

As soon as he finished saying that his eyes widened and he took a step back. Sanji's foot would have dislocated his jaw if Zoro hadn't moved. The blond seemed pretty pissed that he had missed and aimed another kick at his face, but this time Zoro had time to block rather than dodge.

This guy was fast. Zoro beat him on strength, but this skinny assed twerp was faster, only by a little though. Sanji gritted his teeth when the kick that was supposed to shatter Zoro's ribs was caught. Zoro was smirking when he caught his ankle in a death grip and pushed back a little, almost playfully, making Sanji lose his balance.

Sanji growled and jumped in the air, ready to kick the side of his head. Zoro's eyes widened again and moved entirely out of the way, making Sanji crash into a shelf with three arrangements on them. He was on the ground, nursing a headache as Zoro glared down at him. "Look what you did!"

"Zoro! What did you do?" Sanji turned to see a beautiful pink haired woman gawking at them. She walked to Zoro. "You completely made a mess!" She pointed to the heap on the floor, ignoring Sanji.

"Me? It was that asshole starting fights!" He yelled, pointing at Sanji.

Sanji stood up and ran to Perona, taking her hand and kissing it, practically drooling on her. She looked just as disgusted as Zoro felt. "I'm so sorry to cause such a mess madame. How terribly rude of me." He smiled, "To make up for it I can prepare you a wonderful meal made by moi."

She yanked her hand away, taking a step back. "No way." She looked more than a little freaked out, clutching her coffin shaped purse closer to her.

"Are you sure? I can make anything you like," he rambled on. It was really giving Zoro a headache. He clearly didn't get the message.

Perona looked at Zoro, asking for help. He shrugged, not really able to do anything to stop the senseless idiot so she walked over to where he was and grabbed his arm, then looked at Sanji. "No thanks," she stated, and gestured her head at Zoro. "I don't think he would like that."

Sanj's face fell and it took all of Zoro's will to not laugh at him then and there. He had been upset that Perona had pretended they were dating, but it was worth it to see the blonde's crestfallen face. Sanji fixed his jacket, then bowed to Perona. "Forgive me." Then he looked at Zoro and sneered, it kind of reminded Zoro of Dracula, just, without the hissing.

He straightened himself out. "So it'll be delivered on Thursday, right?"

Zoro nodded. "Yeah."

Sanji nodded, bidding goodbye to Perona and completely ignoring Zoro and walked out the store. Perona and Zoro stood there, their arms still linked, looking as Sanji made his way to his car, stopping every step or two to whistle at the women walking past him on the street.

"What as that all about?" Perona asked, staring at the retreating form.

"No idea."

They both stared until Sanji got in his car and drove away, both silent over the entire ordeal.

"Perona."

"Yeah?"

"You can let go of my arm now."

[-]


	2. From Mr Prince

Chapter Two: From Mr. Prince

[-]

The receptionist was giving him that befuddled look again. Every time he walked in through the glass sliding doors, she would look up from her computer hiding behind the tall walls of her desk, perfect for checking facebook without anyone ever knowing, and gave him that perplexed look.

She would look him up and down, eyes wandering from the flower arrangement in his hands to his hair, which she and so many other people thought was weird, then raise an eyebrow and pretend to go back to checking her friend's updates, her eyes still stealing glances at him.

He sighed and stood in front of the elevator awkwardly, trying to ignore her stares, the very same look she gave him every time he walked in with a huge boutique of flowers. As if the flowers were literally from him. He wondered if she knew he was just the delivery boy.

He had always silently thanked Mihawk and Shanks for not forcing him into a uniform, but sometimes there was confusion from the dumber broads, asking if the flowers were from him. Because complete strangers knew where you worked and gave you birthday arrangements. Then he always had to tell them he just doing them the favor of delivering it to them for someone else.

He snorted, well if she thought he was her boyfriend she had the right to stare, giving this many flowers to a girl was just stalker material even if you were dating. The chime for the elevator greeted him and he walked in, mindful not to slap people with the stray foliage. He waved at her as the elevator door closed, earning himself a nice eyebrow raise.

Robin worked on the tenth floor where she worked as a columnist. He zigzagged his way through the maze of desks and cubicles, walking towards Robin where she sat near the window, close to her boss's office. She saw him as he was getting closer and waved, that soft smile on her face.

He liked seeing Robin. She was calm and collected, and always had something interesting to tell Zoro. She didn't annoy him like most people did, so he respected her well enough. "Happy Birthday," he smiled at her.

"Oh you shouldn't have Zoro-san," she joked.

He placed it on the corner of her desk after she moved some papers out of way, stacking them into a neat pile and placing it on top of another stack. "It's your lucky day," he looked at her. "From the prince."

She arched an eyebrow in amusement and looked over the arrangement, her face revealing nothing and extended her hand to retrieve the card; opening it and laughing softly. She looked up at Zoro. "You read this I presume?"

"Worst. I wrote it down for him."

"You have nice writing."

"You know that's not my writing," he snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Like I would write in pink."

She kept smiling at him but didn't say anything on the subject. "I was under the impression that he ordered these online."

"Website's down. You had to either call or come in to place an order." He gritted his teeth at the memory. "He was picky as hell when he was looking for an arrangement."

Robin smiled, "so you finally met him." She put the card down gently on her table. "Now you and Nami can have more in depth conversations about him I'm sure."

"I'm sure."

She looked around her office, craning her neck to try to see something. "Looks like your assistant isn't here today."

"He went to school," he sighed. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed the little monkey. "For once," he added, grumbling.

She crossed her legs under her desk. "Though I'm happy he's attending for once, I must admit I love his visits."

"You and your office. Hancock seems to have a thing for him," he nodded his head towards her direction. "A creepy thing," he shuddered.

She smiled at Boa's general direction who was paying more attention to her reflection in her compact mirror than her computer. They both watched as she applied more foundation on her pale cheeks, a picture of herself and Luffy pinned to the walls of her cubicle.

"She does," Robin mused.

They both looked away when Boa finished applying the finishing touches on her face and winked at the picture.

"Oh Zoro-san," Robin broke the silence that had fallen since being disturbed by Hancock. "Since you're here, I wanted to invite you," she bent over to grab her purse that was under her desk, grabbing it and setting it in her lap, sticking her hand in to pull out a white envelope. It had his name written in nicer, more elegant writing than Perona's and handed the envelope to him.

He took it, nodding his thanks and tearing apart the envelope, reading the card that was inside.

"It's to my birthday party," she smiled at him. "I would have called and just told you where it was, but I had the feeling I would be seeing you this week."

He snorted, looking over the directions. Unfortunately it wasn't a street he recognized.

"I hope you can make it. Your friends Luffy and Usopp can come as well," she placed an elbow on her desk and leaned on it. "Luffy is very lively, so different from other people, I hope he can make it too."

He grinned a little, still looking down at the card. "Yeah Luffy's that way," he murmured almost to himself. He lifted his eyes to look at Robin. "Yeah, he'll probably go." He reassured her, "he wouldn't miss a party."

"I was hoping to hear that."

He pointed at Boa. "Is uh, she invited too?"

Robin smiled. "I did invite her. She said she'll make it if Luffy goes."

Zoro chuckled. "Right."

"It's a small gathering, nothing that will make you uncomfortable," she threw him a playful look.

"As long as there's booze nearby," he stated bluntly, hiding a smirk.

"I'll make sure to have a bartender just for you."

He grinned at that.

[-]

When Zoro made his last delivery he went back to Kuraigana Bouquets to pick up Perona and lock up the shop. Perona informed him that Shanks and Mihawk had left early for a business dinner. They were both quiet for about thirty seconds before they both burst into laughter. After that they both got into his truck, Zoro barely able to control the shit-eating grin from growing on their faces.

Zoro had finally found the solution to his problem, and he really couldn't imagine why he didn't think of it before. He plugged his mp3 player in, and picked the playlist he had made the night before. The playlist consisted of purely Japanese music, now Perona wouldn't be able to sing along. The first artist on the list was Gackt, and he directed his mad grin in Perona's direction.

She frowned at him. "I don't know what he's saying."

He smirked. "That's exactly the point."

They went to Wendy's for dinner, neither of them wanting to go home and make something. Perona's skills in cooking were horrific, Mihawk forever banning her from the kitchen and Zoro's cooking skills were basic, only having learned to make pasta and sandwiches.

While Perona was picking at her salad, moving the tomatoes to one side, Zoro asked her. "What's a good present to buy for a woman?"

Perona dropped her fork, her eyes growing wide, taking him in as if for the first time. She made a face as he stuffed forkfuls of baked potato into her mouth, frowning at her while she chewed and awaited her answer. She cocked her head to the side. "Are you dating someone?"

"No stupid, it's for a birthday present."

"My birthday is not for another three months."

"It's not for you."

"You know other women?"

Zoro threw one of her French fries at her while she laughed in that annoying way of hers. "Horo horo horo!" When she settled down she wiped the tears from her eyes, worried it might ruin her make-up. "So do you like her or something?"

"Once again, no stupid."

She frowned at him and continued with her previously forgotten meal. "You're no fun."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. What's a good present for a woman's birthday?"

She paused, thinking about it. "Cute things." She nodded, like she had come up with something brilliant. It was something Zoro expected her to say, so he wasn't even angry about it.

"Other than that. What would you want as a present?"

She didn't answer him, just put her bony elbow on the table and rested her chin on it, chewing her salad thoughtfully. "A boyfriend who gives me lots of kisses," she nodded. "And shopping money."

He gave her a look from under his brow, "Like I can give her that."

"I don't see why not," she failed to hide her mirth as she tried to take a sip of her soda. She eventually couldn't hold it in and just spit the soda on Zoro as she laughed.

He groaned, grabbing her napkins and patting down his shirt. "I don't even know why I asked you."

"Like I said, you don't know any other women."

"I know other women," he said, looking insulted. "I just don't hang around them as much," he grumbled as he continued to try to dry his shirt.

"Horo horo horo," she laughed again, earning herself another greasy French fry thrown at her.

[-]

They walked through the front door, where Zoro almost tripped on Sprinkles again. He growled at Sprinkles like he was a rabid dog then turned to Perona. "Why do you have so many cats?"

She picked up her little fur ball, holding it close to her chest, more for it's protection than anything else. "They're cute!" she argued, petting the little menace. "Something you wouldn't know about."

"All I'm saying is why can't you have _one_ cat like Mihawk?"

"One cat is no fun! Plus I think you're just jealous that you don't have a cat. You should totally get one."

"I prefer dogs," he said, self consciously patting the spot where the soda stain from earlier was. "It's the only reason why I can tolerate Peanut."

Peanut was the pet Chihuahua Perona had, one of her many, many pets. Peanut was the only animal in the house he could tolerate because, well, he loved dogs. And though Sprinkles didn't scratch and hiss at him half as much as Dracula did, he still hated the stupid thing.

"Then get your own pet."

"I would, but the German Sheppard I wanted was 'too big and would scare the cats,'" Zoro said, imitating Mihawk.

Perona frowned. "Well, Whiskers is pregnant, maybe you can have one of her kittens."

Zoro groaned, his statement about wanting a dog going on deaf ears. He went upstairs to go to his room, where he planned on calling Nami and asking her what he should give to Robin. He just only hoped she wouldn't charge him for that information.

[-]

It was Saturday, the day of the party. It was barely noon so Zoro still had time to do other things before he had to get going. He had just finished mowing the front lawn so he went to the back yard, mowing that grass. The sun was beating down really hard on him so Zoro had lifted his shirt over, leaving it on his head so now the shirt served as a turban.

Perona and Mihawk were outside with him, each doing their own thing. Mihawk was sitting in the lawn chair outside. Zoro kept having to pick up Mihawk - lawn chair and all - to move him over when he had to mow the grass underneath the man. Afterwards he would move him back in place, Mihawk not even disturbed like the princess that he was. He was wearing another flower printed silk button down shirt, leaving it open and unbuttoned with his legs crossed over each other in a feminine manner, sipping on a glass of wine while reading his newspaper. Around his neck was a huge crucifix that would have made any Catholic envious. Until they realized it was really a dagger that is.

Perona was prancing around in a pair of shorts and watering her plants, humming to some song. There were pots scattered all over the porch and she also had hanging pots dangling from the roof, always saying it would give more color to the place. Afterwards, when she was done with that, she tended to her pet bunnies. They were in a cage on the porch, Mihawk and Zoro had complained they smelled too bad and ordered her to keep them outside since there were enough animals inside already.

Her two bunnies, Dot and Mimi, were the fattest things Zoro had ever seen. She overfed them and they were so obese their furry fat was sticking out from the small squares of the cage, the white and gray fur looking like bubbles rising from the steel cage. It was less of a cage and more of a corset for the plumpy fur balls; to make sure they don't get any bigger than that. A sort of prison for them, the poor bastards.

Perona looked at Zoro, who was mowing around the tree in the corner of the yard, going around it two more times than he should have, probably not even noticing. "Hey Zoro! Want to go to the mall with me?" she called out to him.

"Sorry, can't," he yelled back over the lawn mower. Though secretly, he wasn't all that sorry.

Mihawk casually looked at Zoro, raising an eyebrow before going back to his paper. It wasn't an odd sight to see Zoro decline going anywhere with Perona, but he usually said he didn't want to, not that he couldn't.

"I'll buy you lunch!" Perona tired to bargain with him, then finally said. "Please?"

"Nah, I can't. It's Robin's birthday party tonight. She said to bring friends so you can tag along, I'm bringing Luffy and Usopp, there's room for one more in the truck."

He really didn't feel like bringing her, but Robin had said to bring people over. And if Nami was going to be there, Perona would hang around the women, not him. So it was fine.

Perona got out the bird feed and placed some inside the cage where she kept her Canary, Twinkles. So it was Robin's birthday. That's why he had asked about presents the other day. "Robin? The tall girl?"

Zoro nodded, turning off the lawn mower. Finally he was done. He wiped the sweat form his brow, with his shirt sleeve that was next to his ear then leaned on the handles of the mower. "Yeah, her. Wanna go?"

She thought about it as she stroked the soft feathers of Twinkles, who was swinging back and forth on the little swing she had for him. Though she liked parties, there was something she needed to know first. "Is Sanji going to be there?"

Shit. He hadn't thought about it until now. That dumbass knew Robin, but he wasn't positive is she would invite him or not. Robin, being polite, probably would. Shit. "Probably."

Perona paled even more, if that was possible. "Nah," she shook her head, "I'll just hang out with Moriah then."

Zoro always hated Moriah. He was one of her Goth friends, but he was freakier than average. The guy seemed to think he was really a vampire, always wearing a cape wherever he went and had fake fangs on. He gelled his hair into horns and he possessed the only laugh in existence that Zoro considered to be more annoying than Perona's.

Mihawk looked over that them. "Sanji. The blond from the other day." He stated more than asked.

"Yeah," Perona said. "He's so clingy," she shivered. Zoro chuckled a little.

Mihawk nodded, turning a page form his paper. "And you're attending a party where he is also invited as well, Roronoa?"

Zoro was feeling uncomfortable. Mihawk generally didn't talk much, and he never asked about his friends before, though he knew Mihawk listened and knew who he hung out with, as well as Perona. Mihawk was unnerving like that. "Yeah. What about it?"

Mihawk didn't move his eyes from his paper. "Nothing. Just don't fight with him again."

"I wouldn't fight at a party."

"You've had fights in stranger places Roronoa. Don't think I've forgotten about your younger days when you hung around with those hoodlums, Yosaku and Johnny," his eyes scanned over the paper before turning it again. "I still don't know why they worship you when they're five years older than you."

Zoro snickered. "That was a ways back old man."

Mihawk still refused to look at Zoro, keeping his eyes on his paper. "Doesn't matter. You almost tore my store apart when you saw him. Don't fight him again." He took his eyes away from his paper to glare at Zoro, "I'll know about it."

[-]

Luffy was shaking from excitement in the passenger seat of Zoro's truck, the seat belt kept jerking and pulling him back to his seat, but he just kept bouncing in place. "I can't wait! Will there be cake? More importantly, will there be meat?"

Zoro sighed; trying to figure out what street he needed to make a right on. Fuck Google and their crap maps, and the GPS that Mihawk had given him didn't even work properly. "I don't know Luffy."

He saw Usopp smirk in the rearview mirror. "Lost?"

"Shut it long nose."

Luffy was laughing at him, slapping his arm in good humor, just like his old man tended to do to Mihawk. He really understood the man's pain, he really did. "Stupid Zoro."

"Shut up Luffy!"

Usopp appeared next to Zoro's side, tapping his hard shoulder. "Make a left here Zoro." He said helpfully, then yelled, "LEFT! I SAID LEFT!"

After making a u-turn, turning left the right way, and punching Usopp's face they finally made it to the bowling alley where Robin's party was being held. He didn't know she had an interest in bowling of all things, and still has trouble believing that her of all people would have a party there.

He parked his truck and got out, shoving Usopp out the other side so he could get Robin's present that had been sitting next to him. Usopp saw the box in his hands and began to panic. "Oh shit! I didn't get Robin anything!"

Luffy laughed at Usopp. "You're even stupider than Zoro!"

"What?" Zoro snapped, alongside with Usopp.

Luffy just laughed it off, then patted Usopp on the back. "It's ok. I'll put your name on the present I got for her!"

Usopp looked around. "Luffy, where's your present?"

Luffy's smile vanished from his face and he patted down his pockets frantically, then looked up with a lost expression, like he had misplaced his meat or something. "I forgot it!" He gripped Zoro's shirt. "Quick! Drive me back home!"

Zoro frowned and shoved him off. "Get off me."

Luffy jumped on his back and tugged at Zoro's hair. "I _need _her present Zoro! Now mush!" he tugged on Zoro's hair like a person would do for a horse, Luffy willing Zoro to take him home.

"I'll just put your names on my present you dorks," he gritted his teeth.

Usopp sighed in relief. "Thanks man."

Zoro flashed him a grin. "You can pay me back by buying me a few drinks inside."

"You've been hanging out with Nami lately, haven't you?"

After they rummaged through Zoro's truck in hopes of hiding a pen so they could all scribble their names, right on the wrapping paper too, they walked inside.

Walking was too nice a word for Luffy and Usopp, since they ran inside, ready to inspect the place top to bottom. Zoro waltzed in behind them, looking around too but trying to look at little more discrete.

It was by far the most luxurious bowling alley he had ever been to. The fact that there weren't bums sleeping near the front already spoke volumes of the place.

The place was huge. Way bigger than it looked from the outside. Thick columns surrounded the entrance, with a chandelier above them, and he could see the bowling lanes to the side. He also saw a section where some pool tables were lined up. There was an arcade to the left of the door, which Usopp and Luffy ran to immediately, leaving Zoro alone to stand in line.

The place where Zoro and Perona usually went to was so shitty. It was more of a bar than anything else, with people occasionally getting up and knocking down like two pins, if they were good and sober. It was usually a war just to find a ball in the racks against the walls, and rarely did they have a ball with a decent weight. All they had were six pound ones, the kind that only someone with skinny arms like Perona could throw.

After twenty minutes of standing in line, they were lead by a man in a white dress shirt and a bow tie to a VIP room, where he informed them Robin's party was being held. They walked past a couple of other VIP rooms before reaching _the_ room. The man bowed a little and nodded. "Have a nice time."

Luffy waved bye to him and yelled 'thanks' over the loud music, Usopp ignored him and opened the door where they were greeted first hand.

"Hey, you made it!" Franky called from the couch he was sitting in, waving at them and grinning in that playboy way he did. No doubt he winked at them behind his sunglasses.

In the dead center of the room was a dance floor; to their left was where Franky was seated. There were two lanes in the VIP room, and a set of couches in front of them, much nicer than the ones outside, with larger tables in the center. There was a long rectangular table behind them, just before the dance floor, which was probably for eating Zoro could only assume. And to their right the DJ, playing some pop song that Zoro didn't recognize, and against the wall was the bar. Zoro smirked at the sight.

Luffy and Usopp were in amazement of the place, running to the couch where Franky was. Zoro put the present down on the table near the door, where other presents were placed, and looked around the room, trying to spot Robin, finding anyone but the birthday girl herself. He saw some of Robin's co-workers, Hancock was there and making her way over to Luffy, the poor sucker.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

He turned around, spotting the owner of that annoying voice standing at the door, just having arrived it seemed. He was dressed in a sharper suit than he was wearing the last time they met, a baffled look on his face. The kind of look you give to your shoes when you find shit on the bottom of them.

"I was invited dipshit."

Sanji laughed with no humor, chuckling before saying. "Who in _hell_ invited you?"

"Robin." Zoro smirked, knowing that would hit a sensitive area.

"Robin?" Sanji yelped, almost in horror, as if the likes of him knowing her was a capital offense. "How do you know her?"

"I send flowers to her almost every freaking week." He yawned, looking around the place and trying to figure out if taking a nap on one of those nice couches was worth it. He figured not, it was a party after all and returned his attention to Sanji. "I guess I have you to thank for meeting her." He even gave him a wicked grin.

Sanji groaned. "Fuck."

"So really, this is all your fault."

Sanji stepped closer to him, getting right in Zoro's face and spoke to him in a low threatening tone. "I'm finding a new flower place next week." Then he added with less rumbling in the back of his throat. "I swear it!"

"My heart breaks over the news."

"Why you-!"

"Zoro!"

They both turned, spotting Nami sitting at the bar, waving them down. "Come have a drink with me!"

Sanji frowned; feeling more than a little mad that Nami had greeted Zoro first and not him. Zoro of all people! Zoro waved back to Nami, and was on his way to her when a hand on his bicep stopped him. He looked down, feeling dread that it belonged to the curly wonder, and turned around, not really wanting to deal with the idiot, but wanting to know why in hell he was touching him. "What? Afraid I'll win her heart or something?"

He snorted. "Yeah right." He let go of his arm, since he had his attention. "I was gonna be a gentleman and warn you not to drink with her. She out drinks me all the time."

Zoro wasn't about to tell the prick he had drank with Nami plenty, and she made a good drinking buddy. Sanji wasn't supposed to know anyways, so instead he looked at him. "Oh yeah?" he grinned, turning his head to look at Nami. "She doesn't look like it."

"Trust me," Sanji nodded his head, a faint look of horror passing his features. "She's gotten me drunk so many times it's not even funny. Don't take drinks from her."

Zoro smiled. "I bet I can drink as much as her."

"Doubt it." Sanji said, looking at Nami over Zoro's shoulder, "She's a pro."

He shrugged, deciding he was bored with the conversation and started walking towards her when Sanji grabbed his arm again. "Don't do it!"

"Calm down eyebrows," he shrugged his hand off, and walked towards the bar.

Sanji followed him. "What did you say marimo?'

Zoro whirled around. "Marimo? How the fuck did you-?"

"Thank you all for coming," a female voice stopped them in their tracks. They both turned around, seeing Robin sitting on Franky's lap, smiling at everyone in the room. Franky wore a similar smile; currently busy petting her thigh with his large hand like there was an invisible cat on Robin's lap.

When Nami had heard Robin's voice she got up from her seat at the bar, walking over to stand next to Zoro and Sanji. Robin continued. "I'm glad you could make it. I was thinking we should start bowling and eat afterwards, it'll give more time to the others who are running late."

Luffy frowned. "But I wanted to eat now." Usopp nudged his ribs painfully, whispering to him to shut up.

Robin chuckled. "We'll get to that." She turned back to address everyone. "So who's bowling? I understand if you just want to sit and watch."

"She's talking to you," Sanji muttered under his breath, leaning towards Zoro so he could be the only one to hear it.

Zoro leaned in closer to him as well, whispering back. "Are you blind? She was looking at you."

"I'm not blind, you're the one with one eye!" Sanji said, his voice elevating.

"What? The scar?" Zoro scoffed, turning his body to face Sanji. "At least people can see both my eyes, where's your other eye? Too revolting to be shown in public?"

"There is nothing wrong with my eyes asshole."

"There's plenty wrong with your eyebrows I'll tell you that much."

"That's it motherfucker, we're settling this."

Zoro snorted. "With what? A staring contest? That puts me in too much of an advantage, don't you think?"

"Shut the fuck up, we're bowling," Sanji said.

Franky was staring at Robin's profile, then looked to Nami, Usopp, and Luffy, anyone, trying to figure out what was their deal. Their voices had elevated to the point of getting everyone's attention in the room. Nami broke the uncomfortable tension in the room by punching them both upside the head while they were glaring daggers at each other. "Will you both shut up already?" She turned to Robin, smiling sweetly, silently telling her to go on.

Robin looked to her party again. "Besides Sanji and Zoro, who else is bowling?"

After deciding who was bowling, everyone decided to separate Zoro and Sanji, which did nothing to stop their yelling at each other from across the room.

Zoro bowled with Luffy, Hancock and Nami. Sanji was bowling on the other side with Robin, Usopp and Franky.

Even from across the room they were holding their competition. If Zoro knocked down eight pins, Sanji would knock down nine. From then on, Zoro made sure to knock all ten down in the first turn. Sanji made sure to do the same, knocking them all down then skipping to Robin when she clapped her hands for him.

That game went on, Zoro and Sanji running over to the other lane to check on the other's score to compare, and to fight mostly. After some time, Zoro had gone over to gloat that he was doing better than Sanji. Which turned into another verbal sparring match. Nami walked over to Robin's lane, sitting on the couch next to her. "This isn't their first time meeting is it?"

Robin looked on. "Zoro told me they met the beginning of the week when Sanji came in to place an order for my flower bouquet."

Nami nodded. "Sanji being an ass towards a guy is nothing new, but I've never seen him act this aggressive towards someone," she looked back and forth between the two men. " And Zoro's usually such a mellow guy."

Robin smirked. "Not when he's around Sanji."

They both stared forward, looking at the boys who were still yelling at each other at the top of their lungs, their faces inches away from each other.

"Do you want me to beat your face in with this bowling ball? Cause mine is a whole seven pounds heavier than yours!"

"Oh! The caveman can hold a heavier ball! That's the biggest feat for mankind since they sent men into space!"

"The biggest feat for mankind will be the day you can manage to find yourself a date and not get a dart thrown at your eyebrow!"

Nami sighed, "Oh I've had enough of this." She titled her chin up and called out loud enough for Sanji to here, making her voice sweet and high pitched. "Sanji-kun! Do your best out there!"

He whirled around and completely ignored Zoro, not bothering to make a comeback since he was now addressing Nami. "Anything for you my turtledove!"

It turned out that Luffy was the winner. Hancock was more than thrilled obviously; her swooning was almost as bad as Sanji's. Zoro came in second, Sanji was third, making him more than a little cross. After their death match they all headed towards the table to eat. Luffy sat next to Robin. Franky sat in between Robin and Zoro, both of them chatting about working out or something, Sanji couldn't tell. He had sat next to Nami, and Brook who had showed up during their contest of sorts.

To the other side of Luffy, Hancock kept trying to feed him meat, gushing whenever he said just her name. Sanji had to control his jealously from snapping at Luffy. He didn't know whether he should tell Luffy to pay _some_ attention to her or to show Hancock he could that he was a better option. His only condolence was that Hancock wasn't this way towards the retard moss ball.

Short after they had finished eating, the DJ started to play some music, Franky, Usopp and Luffy rushed to the dance floor. Hancock went after Luffy and they danced together. Hancock even held the poor boy to her chest, nearly suffocating him.

Franky danced by himself, making Robin laugh until he dragged her to the dance floor. Usopp begged Zoro or Nami to dance with him, but had no such luck convincing the two. Finally, he convinced Brook to dance with him, earning himself a nice gawking look from Zoro and Nami.

Zoro grumbled and took Nami up on her offer to drink, both of them making their way to the bar. Sanji didn't feel like dancing so he followed Nami, wishing the fucking marimo would go away. He wanted to make sure that one eye didn't try anything on sweet Nami.

The three of them ordered drinks, and Sanji barely took a sip of his beer when he heard Nami and Zoro ordering their second round of hard drinks. After a while he noticed there was no way he could possibly keep up with them so he settled for watching them, being the one to keep count since that fucking moss ball couldn't resist competing with anyone it seemed. After a bit, Zoro looked over at Sanji, noticing he wasn't drinking anymore and poured some of his beer into his glass. "Have some."

It also appeared that he wanted everyone around him drunk.

The night went on, most of Robin's co-workers left early to get some shut eye. Hancock was nearly in tears when she bid Luffy goodnight. It was a bad move on his part to walk her to the door, she cried and said she couldn't wait for their wedding. When she left, Robin and the rest of them joined the trio at the bar, joining Sanji while they stared at Nami and Zoro.

Sanji stared in horror as Franky and Usopp kept ordering drinks for Nami and Zoro, trying to see who would get tipsy first. They had ordered twelve shots of Patron, five jack and cokes, nine jell-o shots, a bottle of Sky for Zoro and a bottle of Captain Morgan's for Nami, and they were still sober. And that wasn't counting the thirteen bottles of beer they had before Franky had come along.

Usopp slung an arm around Sanji. "I taught Zoro everything he knows, he learned how to drink from me."

Sanji had enough sense to know he was lying to him.

They were monsters. He had never seen Nami drink so much. She usually stopped after Sanji got tipsy, so he never really got to see her full potential because she never had a challenge, until now that is. Now Sanji was seriously wondering how a sweet angel like her could drink like that, surely women didn't drink that much. But while he was surprised to see Nami drink that much, he shouldn't have been so surprised about Zoro. Zoro did have that alcoholic look to him. Why he thought Zoro was a lightweight was beyond him at this point.

Finally, Usopp broke down and said. "Please stop drinking! I'm running out of money here!"

Franky looked at the two. "Please tell me one of you is drunk."

Nami and Zoro only exchanged a look, then grinned widely and said nope. So the drinking came to a close, both declaring a tie and saying they would need to drink some other time. Luffy cheered for the both of them, clapping Zoro on the back for the billionth time that night.

Robin and Franky sat close to each other while Nami talked to Robin, Usopp and Brook sitting next to her. It left Sanji sitting next to Zoro, looking over at him and Luffy. They seem to have known each other a long time based on the way they acted.

"How long you guys know each other?" he asked, sipping on some water, trying to sober down some more.

"Few years," Luffy said, looking at Zoro to give him the exact answer. Zoro only shrugged, saying, "I dunno."

Sanji had noticed that Luffy had a scar under his eye while Zoro had been busy attempting to get intoxicated. He found it amusing that they both had scars on the left side of their face. The only difference was that Luffy's was under his eye, not across it like Zoro's was. He tapped the skin underneath his left eye, "I've been meaning to ask, how did you get that scar?"

Luffy looked at where he was pointing on his own face before breaking out into a smile,. "I did it myself!"

"Fight against my boss," Zoro grumbled, taking down another shot. Setting it down he added, "Err, tenant."

Sanji's jaw dropped. "Are you guys serious?"

They both nodded. Sanji opened and closed his mouth multiple times, not believing the stupidity he was hearing, making weird faces before he blurted out, "Who stabs themselves?"

Luffy continued to smile like it was no big deal to suddenly impale one's self. "Shanks, my dad, was making fun of me by calling me a kid. So I cut my eye to prove I was a man," he smiled, puffing his chest from swelling pride.

Sanji, completely flummoxed by the absurdity of it all, looked at Zoro hoping he would get a normal answer. "Why did you fight with your boss? And with what, he cut you with a knife?"

"Swords actually," Zoro said, signalling to the bartender to give him another shot. He rested his elbows on the bar, titling his head to look at him. "And we always fight. It's no big deal."

"Swords?" With every word those dimwits said he was growing more and more bewildered. But it was his fault, why did he expect the marimo to have a normal answer? There was nothing normal about him. "The fuck. What, are you guys samurais?"

Zoro smirked. "Something like that."

Sanji looked down at his glass, he must be hearing things. While he was trying to decide if he was sober or not, Luffy leaned over Zoro, practically knocking foreheads with him as he moved around in front of him to be able to talk to Sanji. "How do you guys know each other? Did you go to high school with Zoro?"

"Hell no. And thank God too." If he had ever met him in high school he imagined they would have visited the principle's office more than the secretary. "I met this fucker at his job."

Luffy smiled. "Oh! Did you see my dad? He owns the place."

"What? The tall guy with a moustache?"

Luffy shook his head, "No." Zoro stuck his hand in Luffy's face, but it did nothing to stop him from having a conversation with Sanji. "That's his friend, and co-owner. My dad's the one with red hair."

Sanji nodded. "Oh. Well, no I didn't see no red haired guy."

They were interrupted when Nami started cheering. "Hey Robin! You should open your presents now!"

Everyone else started cheering, so she had to give in. They went back to sitting on the couches. Robin took her seat on Franky's lap again. Usopp and Nami sat next to each other on one couch, and Luffy sat on Zoro's lap much to his dislike, while Sanji sat next to his other side, Brook having taken the seat next to Robin and Franky. He had no luck sitting next to the ladies it seemed.

Robin opened Brook's first, giggling at the skull wrapping paper. Inside the box was a pair of purple silk panties. Franky had to pull Sanji back from kicking him. Next was Nami, and she gave her a dress from some expensive shop apparently, because Robin and her started to talk about it, leaving the men to sit in confusion. Franky had given her a ship in a bottle, leaving a sticky note on it saying one day she would a life sized version of the one inside the bottle. He had winked at her, lifting his sunglasses to do so.

Robin smiled and kissed his cheek. Afterwards she opened the present from Zoro, Luffy and Usopp. She was grinning when she opened it, holding the book and reading the title, 'Rainbow Mist.' She smiled softly. "Thank you, the three of you. I've had my eye on this book for a long time."

After that, all the attention went to Sanji, all more than a little surprised that he wasn't the first one flinging himself at Robin, begging her to open his gift. Sanji only smiled, standing up and straightening his suit. "Robin, I'm afraid I didn't bring your present because it was too big to fit in my car. I was hoping you could find it in your heart to forgive me and allow me to bring it over to your humble abode later tonight."

Robin smiled. "Well, we were going to eat cake at my place."

Sanji had wanted to cook the entire meal for her birthday, but they had made a deal that they would go to her place to eat a cake especially made by him and that was good enough for Sanji. Robin informed everyone of this news, Zoro hated it, considering he would have to drive there.

Sanji nodded and clasped his hands together. "Well then, I'll need someone with a van or a truck to drive me to my place so I can bring the wonderful Robin-Chan her much deserved present."

"Oh!" Luffy called out, Zoro tired to cover Luffy's mouth but it was too late. "Zoro has a truck."

Sanji still has his back turned to them. "Would anyone like to help me on my quest?"

Usopp furrowed his eyebrow. "Sanji, Zoro has a truck."

"Franky!" Sanji practically threw himself at the man's feet as he wailed. "You have a truck, don't you?"

"Sorry bro, I drove my Lexus here."

Robin looked to Zoro. "You haven't objected, care to help Sanji?"

Sanji cringed a little, but didn't dare turn his back.

Zoro sighed; it was her birthday after all. "Sure."

[-]

Sanji decided he didn't need his car so he reluctantly handed his keys to Usopp and Luffy. "Don't crash."

They nodded enthusiastically, probably not even hearing any of his threats and ran off towards the direction of his car, shoving at each other trying to fight over who could drive the car. Sanji had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he tried to convince himself it was because he was going to have to drive around with Zoro.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling the gum wrapper that he had forgotten to throw away earlier. "Where's your truck?"

Zoro just started walking, titling his head towards the end of the parking lot. "Over there."

Sanji followed suit, then extended his hand. "Here, let me drive."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "I can drive my own car, thanks."

"You can't drive!" Sanji began to argue. "You've been drinking!"

"So what? I'm sober."

"There's no way you can be! You drank enough for ten people!"

Zoro snorted. "I didn't even get tipsy."

"I'm not getting in the car with a drunk person!"

"Calm your tits princess, just get in the passenger side."

"Tits!"

Zoro rubbed at the back of his head where Sanji had kicked him, settling into the passenger seat of his own car. "Can't believe you kicked me. Behind my back."

Sanji lit up a cigarette, not bothering to ask for Zoro's permission and rolled down the window. "Whatever, put on your seat belt."

Sanji pulled out of the parking lot, Zoro's whole body slamming back as he reversed, then slamming back forward again when Sanji drove out of the place. Zoro usually didn't scare easy, but he feared for his life. That crazy blond had passed three red lights in less than ten minutes, and the few times he actually stopped he slammed on the brakes so hard Zoro nearly got a concussion from hitting the dashboard.

Sanji, though, kept a calm face the entire time, smoking his cigarette without a care in the world, exhaling the smoke smoothly like he was posing for a magazine, the prick.

When the light turned green Sanji sped off, the tires making a screeching sound, no doubt leaving his mark on the pavement. If there were cops chasing him, they could easily find him just by his tracks. Or just follow the trail of angry drivers, all cussing Sanji out, flicking him off, honking after him. Zoro gripped the door handle, his pupils growing wide. Sanji made a turn and went over the curb, the truck making a loud thump, Zoro's head nearly hitting the roof of the car as his truck landed on pavement again. He couldn't take it anymore, finally losing it and yelling at the top of his voice while gripping the 'oh shit bar.'

"Watch out! It's my fucking car you know!"

Sanji looked at him after passing yet another red, taking his time to turn his head slowly, the wind making his hair fly across his face, covering his eyes. But Zoro could still make out that grinning mouth. "Calm your tits."

Zoro really hated that condescending bastard.

They got to the front of Sanji's apartment and Zoro never felt so relived and thankful in his entire life. Even when he got sliced by Mihawk he wasn't as scared for his life as he was when he was in the car with Sanji. He honestly thought he was going to die when Sanji narrowly escaped from crashing straight on into a light pole.

Sanji had an apartment on the fourteen floor; which was in reality the thirteen floor. Zoro grumbled to himself, that fucking evil bastard would reside on the thirteen floor. They got in the elevator, the both of them standing there quietly on the elevator ride. Sanji unlocked the door. "It might be messy, so," he stopped talking, seeming to think something over in his head, before saying, "What am I thinking?" he snorted. "Like I care what you think."

"I feel welcomed already."

Sanji opened the door to reveal a small space, good enough for a single person. The living room had a nice couch in front of a T.V.; he could see a hallway to the side, leading to his bedroom and a bathroom. There was a kitchen there, and it was probably the best-kept area in his entire apartment.

He looked around, then spotted a rocking chair in the middle of the living room. It was a nice chair, and had a handmade quality to it, finding etched details going along the headrest. He titled his head up, gesturing to the chair. "That for her?"

Sanji, having walked over to the couch to pick up some of his dirty clothes, clearly not comfortable with the idea of someone finding his place messy -even if it was the asshole marimo – turned around, looking genuinely surprised. "How'd you know?"

"It doesn't match with the rest of the furniture, and a guy like you has everything matching."

"Oi! Don't make me sound like a girl."

"I just meant you're a clean cut guy, you sensitive pansy."

He didn't answer him, just huffed and walked into his kitchen after throwing his clothes in the hallway, throwing it out of sight from the marimo. He looked around the sink and fridge awkwardly. Sanji sighed, "Hey, listen, I'm thankful that you're letting me use your truck. Err, do you want anything to eat?"

"Ehh?"

"To eat. Do you want something to eat?" Sanji said with deliberate slowness, only serving to irritate the other man.

"Not really."

"Really? I can cook you anything you want."

"I rather not upset my stomach, thanks."

"Asshole. You haven't even tired it yet."

"Don't need to try it to know it'll taste like shit."

"Oh that's it, I'm cooking," Sanji said, clearly offended, he began to puff up a little, then turned around, muttering under his breath. "I'll show you."

"Hey, Chef Ramsey," Zoro called from where he had been standing in the living room the entire time. "It's two in the morning. I'm not hungry."

Sanji grumbled. "Not now. I mean, I can cook you something, as a sort of thank you, thing."

Zoro looked him over, then the kitchen. "You're a chef."

"Yeah, I work at the Baratie," he said, then asked. "Ever heard of it?"

"Not really."

"Asshole."

"Why am I an asshole?" Zoro inquired, looking at him. "Just because I haven't heard of your crap restaurant."

"Whatever. You can either stop by the Baratie whenever you want, get a free meal, or call me and I'll cook you something."

Zoro eyed him, looking uneasy about the whole thing. "You don't have to, you know?" After their little dispute, Sanji went over to the living room, standing before the chair. "So why the rocking chair?" Zoro asked.

Sanji had a fresh new cigarette in his mouth, fire alarm be damned Zoro supposed, seeing as how he didn't seem worried about setting it off. Sanji crouched down, getting the bottom of the chair. "When Robin-Chan was little-"

He paused in his story momentarily when Zoro squatted down and held the other end of the chair, both of them lifting it and walking backwards. "Her mother used to read to her in a rocking chair similar to this one. I know because she showed me a picture once. Watch out for the door," they moved to the left a little to avoid hitting it, then set it on the ground after they successfully walked out, Sanji getting out his keys and locking his door.

He turned and picked it up again, resuming their conversation once more. "She used to be really close to her mother before she died. Well anyways, it took me months to find a rocking chair exactly like this one, but I did." A huge grin suddenly made itself visible on his face. "It'll be worth it to see her face."

Zoro considered his comment. "That's thoughtful of you."

"Well, you know, anything for a loved one."

Zoro snorted. "Seems to me you love every woman in the state."

Sanji grinned toothily at him. "I have enough love to go around."

They placed it in the back of Zoro's pickup, securing it with some rope so it wouldn't fall off on their ride on the freeway, and got into his car again. This time, Zoro got into the driver's seat, throwing Sanji a hard glare when he began to protest. "I'm plenty sober now thanks to you. The car drive here would have scared any hung-over person into soberness anyways."

"Very funny marimo."

"Wasn't kidding." After turning on the ignition, Zoro looked at Sanji. "Well, I don't exactly know where she lives, you're gonna have to give me directions."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Should have just let me drive then."

"Che, I'm never letting you drive my car again," Zoro turned his body around, placing his right hand on the back of Sanji's seat as he backed out of the packing lot, looking over his shoulder.

"Do you know how to get on the 10 east from here?" Sanji asked him.

"No."

"Ok, stay on this street, I'll tell you when to make a right."

Zoro nodded, reaching into his cup holder to get his mp3 player, turning it on so the ride wouldn't be as uncomfortable. The last song that had been playing was M-Flo's Cosmic Night Run so he started the song over again and played it. Sanji sat there listening to the music, not really minding that it was in a language that he didn't understand. He played French music enough in his car to the point it annoyed other people, so he really wasn't one to say. And he would have stayed quiet, but he couldn't take it anymore. "What the hell marimo?" he snapped.

"What?"

"The song, it's so, so," he paused, "Happy sounding."

"What's wrong with happy music?" Zoro asked, glaring at him, showing him just how much the song had an effect on him. The joy in the air evident.

"Nothing. But you? I can't believe you listen to this."

Zoro ignored him and kept driving. After a while Zoro snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just a line form the song reminded me of you."

"What line?"

"Something about bikinis in the winter."

Sanji smiled. "Sexy."

When the song ended, a metal song came on next and Sanji found himself head bobbing to the beat. He nodded, taking his eyes away form the window and looking at Zoro's profile. "So, who is this?"

"Ningen-Isu," Zoro said, not even looking at his mp3 player.

Sanji nodded, then asked. "Um, can I change the music?"

Zoro took his eyes off the road for a moment so he could eye Sanji. "You won't sing will you?"

Sanji furrowed his eyebrows, looking a little offended that he would even ask such a thing. "No."

"Then yeah, go ahead." Zoro waved his hand dismissingly.

Sanji grabbed his music player and pressed the center button, the album cover of the band showing, making Sanji burst into laughter. "Geez, no wonder you listen to these guys."

"Shut up."

Sanji continued to laugh. "I mean, just look at the way that they're dressed!"

"Just pick something else."

Sanji skimmed through the list, furrowing his curly brow when he noticed a problem. "Your settings are all in Japanese."

Zoro chuckled, a grin spreading across his face. "Oh yeah. I did that so Perona wouldn't be able to change the music." He said, reaching out his hand and taking his mp3 player from Sanji.

"Nice job."

Zoro shrugged and clicked until the artist list showed up and handed it back to Sanji. "Here, the American bands are in English. Knock yourself out."

Sanji shook his head and he went through the list, more than half of the artist where in Japanese, he did see some Korean artists as well, but he could help but say, "You're such a fob."

"Shove it Frenchy."

"Make me fob. Turn right here."

"Just wait till we get to Robin's house. I'll beat you in front of her."

"Not in front of the ladies!" Sanji said in mock worry. "Left at the light."

"I'm sure they'll even cheer me on."

"Asshole marimo. Make another left."

[-]

After they ate the cake that was especially made by Sanji, Brook sang a song for Robin that he had composed himself. Franky was the one acting like the song was for him, with the way he was crying. He wiped his eyes, saying how beautiful it was. When Brook finished his song, he asked Robin if he could see her panties.

Sanji was on him not a second afterwards, kicking him across the face for even asking such a thing. When Brook was on the floor, threatening to bleed to death, Sanji fixed his tie and smiled brightly at Robin, declaring that he had her present ready for her, kicking Zoro's foot to get his attention so he could bring it in. Apparently the pansy couldn't carry it on his own.

Zoro grumbled, but did as he was told, but only for Robin's sake. He came back into her living room, carrying it and spotted Robin standing in the middle of her living room, Sanji standing behind her, a smile on his features while his pale hands covered her eyes, wanting to surprise her. Zoro quietly set the chair down, stepping back and standing next to Luffy, who was grinning ear to ear, Usopp having to nudge him to keep quiet.

Sanji then finally removed his hands from her eyes, the smile on his face competing with Luffy's own. Robin's normally calm expression went in to a state of shock for a brief moment before softening. She took a small step forward, stepping towards the chair and touching the headrest gingerly. She ran her hands over the headrest, then down until she reached the armrest, a nostalgic look on her face.

She turned to look at Sanji. "It's exactly like the one my mother had."

"I did my best to find one exactly like it Robin-Chan."

Robin couldn't contain her happiness anymore, she stepped over to where Sanji was and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

Zoro looked on the sight, never having seen Robin so emotional. The moment was nice, and he looked at Sanji, smiling at Robin with a beaming face, happy that she was happy. Maybe the perverted bastard wasn't so bad. He was thinking that until he saw the cook's hand, the very one that had been resting on her hip slip down to gently cup her ass. Robin slipped her hand off his shoulder and reached back, grabbing his wrist and bringing his hand up to rest on her hip again.

Franky didn't seem to mind, just laughed it off. Zoro shook his head, Luffy and Usopp having burst into laughter at the sight. After a while Zoro joined, shaking his head.

[-]

"Now get in the car," Zoro said calmly, trying not to grab him by his neck and chuck him inside.

"No!" Luffy protested; acting like a spoiled brat.

"Get in the car." Zoro said between gritting his teeth.

"You sound like a kidnapper," Usopp commented, nudging Zoro's ribs and grinning like an idiot.

"Shut the hell up and get in the car!"

"Zoro, that isn't helping your case."

After chucking Luffy in the backseat and restraining him with all the seat belts in the back, Zoro sighed, looking at his best friend, his arms to his side as the belts went around his body, keeping him from running away. "Geez you're such a pain in the ass."

Luffy wiggled in their hold. "But I don't wanna go home! I wanna stay at the party!"

"The party is over Luffy, plus, Robin has to sleep at some point."

Luffy didn't seem to understand what Zoro had just told him, for he kept thrashing in his seat, yelling in agony when he couldn't escape. Zoro sighed; this was exactly the reason why he wasn't having kids. Luffy was a form of birth control as it were.

"Hey marimo!" He heard Sanji call out to him. 'Speaking of pain in the ass,' Zoro thought to himself, turning around to face the blond. Sanji stood a few feet back. "Thanks for helping me with the chair earlier."

"Don't mention." Zoro said, looking him dead in the eye. "No really, don't mention it again."

Sanji grinned. "That won't be a problem, trust me." His face turned serious then. "But my offer still stands for the free food."

Luffy piped up from the back, his feet kicking up a bit in excitement. "Does it apply to me too?"

"Not a chance in hell kid. I saw the way you ate tonight," Sanji said between his cigarette. "You'll put me out of business."

Luffy frowned, slumping in his seat. "You suck."

"Don't be so blunt!" Usopp yelped, afraid Sanji would kick them. He didn't.

Sanji just turned and headed towards his car, having wrestled the keys away from Luffy's hands and unlocked his car. He ducked his head, getting in his car, rolling down the windows to call out to Zoro. "I mean it, ok?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "I'll think about it."

Sanji frowned, setting on the gas and driving off, making sure to flick off Zoro as he drove past him.

Usopp stood there next to Zoro, watching as Sanji sped out of the neighborhood, getting honked at and flicked off, Luffy still struggling with his seatbelt in the background.

"You guys sure make weird friends."

"Don't start long nose."

"Sorry."

[-]

He yawned and walked in through the door after dropping off the kiddies at Usopp's house. During the ride Luffy had somehow managed to wiggle his arms free, using that time to give Zoro a wet willy while he was driving.

Zoro half expected the house to be quiet, hoping that his roommates were fast asleep, but he should have known better, they always stayed up no matter what time he came home to ask him where he was. Freaking people always in his business. Mihawk was sitting on the couch along with Shanks who was completely drunk already. As he was most days . . .

Perona was sitting by herself in the love seat, looking at Zoro with beady eyes and looking more tired than he had ever seen her. She didn't even have the energy to greet him with her high-pitched voice. Shanks waved widely again, holding a bottle of Rum close to his chest. "Zoro! Come join us!"

Mihawk was holding a plastic red cup; looking distastefully down at it like it had someone offended him. While he was looking down at that, not even bothering to greet Zoro either, Shanks slung an arm over his shoulder. "Chug Hawk eyes! Chug! CHUG! CHUG!"

He pumped his fist in the air, smiling widely, looking at Zoro from the corner of his eyes to try to get him to join in his mission on getting Mihawk plowed. Mihawk frowned at them both and chugged, doing as he was told for once. It was amazing. Mihawk never drank with Zoro. Zoro smiled like a little boy and sat down on the love seat next to Perona, already in a much better mood.

He reached over to the coffee table, taking a red cup and extended his hand so Shanks could serve him some of that rum. "You can drink, right boy?" Shanks asked even though he knew the answer, grinning at him as he poured him a full cup of rum.

Zoro nodded. "Yup."

When his cup was full he chugged while Shanks cheered for him. Perona titled her head to the side, looking at him like she didn't know who he was, making Zoro wonder if she had been drinking with them.

Shanks continued to down bottle after bottle of rum, cheering for Mihawk and Zoro as they drank. Mihawk got drunk real fast. It was fun for Zoro seeing Mihawk so drunk for the first time, who would have known he was the happy drunk kind?

As the night went on Perona fell asleep on Zoro's lap, but that didn't stop Zoro from reaching over her to get refills from Shanks.

Shanks' laugh seemed to get louder as the morning progressed. "Let's get wasted!"

[-]

A.N. About the music that Zoro listens to, you guys should really look up what Ningen-Isu looks like, then you'll see exactly why Zoro listens to them.

And 'Cosmic Night Run' has got to be the happiest song I have ever heard. It's so . . . ii ne.


	3. Dinner Date

Chapter Three: Dinner Dates

[-]

Vivi.

In two days he will have known that beautiful young lady for three years. He smiled to himself. He really wanted to give her something special. Special present for a special lady. He smiled stupidly to himself as he dried his wet hair with the towel around his neck, absently thinking about her wonderfully long blue hair.

He went over ideas on what he should write to her. He considered writing poetry for her. He would write her a fantastic letter declaring his love for her and she would be unable to resist him. They would fall madly in love and get married in a short time, having plenty of children. Yes, little spawn to roam the earth. Him and his wonderfully blue haired wife would have little blonde and blue haired children.

Or if the colors mixed, they would have a green haired child. He smiled dreamily at the thought. The stopped drying his hair when an image of Zoro appeared in his mind. The green haired wonder. He must have had a blue haired and blond parent. It would explain the moss infestation on the man's head.

At that point, he didn't mind that he was thinking about the moss ball, it hadn't been the first time he had suddenly popped in his mind. And not just because he kept thinking about how he helped him with Robin's present and how he still hadn't paid him back.

Sometimes he would be lying around his apartment and he would remember how the moss ball had looked at his apartment, not saying anything about his messy clothes but looked at his kitchen. And every so often, he would imagine his smile. The way he grinned in delight when he had been taking down shots with Nami, or the way he smiled when Luffy said something incredibly stupid but insanely funny.

He didn't want to admit it, but he found him really attractive despite his taste in clothing and his green hair. And the way he acted so effortlessly rude to people when he had it in him to be semi-charming, always trying to appear like he was a savage brute.

After changing in his room into a suit, he pulled out his chair in front of his desk and sat in front of his laptop, going to one of his saved tabs and looked through the new website for Kuraigana Bouquets. He liked the new appearance, it looked a lot friendlier and it was more helpful than the last one. A lot less creepy looking too.

Sanji sighed. He was debating whether he should order online or not. He drummed his fingers on his laptop. He was itching for a cigarette at the moment.

There was a bouquet he liked, and he was sure Vivi would enjoy it too. It had her favorite flowers in there; it was a boutique made of blue lotus. It was a desert flower, and the flower was the same color as her hair.

He tapped his finger on the mouse pad, not knowing if he should order it online or not. On one hand, he could just order them online, avoid fighting with a complete moron and getting a headache.

On the other hand he could drive, waste his gas, and quite possibly get into another argument.

The idea of seeing Zoro again made him close his laptop shut and go searching for his keys.

[-]

He got out of his car after parking it in one of the empty spaces, right next to Zoro's truck. He grinned, stuffing his hands into his pockets and made his way inside Kuraigana Bouquets. He stepped inside the place, sniffing the air filled with the fresh aromas of flowers and felt himself smiling until he was kindly greeted by Zoro.

"Oh fuck it's you."

Sanji stopped dead in his tracks, glaring at the man who seemed oh so thrilled to see him. Zoro was in the middle of watering some plants, a neon yellow watering canteen in a lax grip as he stared at Sanji.

"Roronoa!" a booming voice called from out of sight. If Sanji didn't know better he would have guessed it was the thundering voice of God himself no doubt calling Zoro to tell him what a shit person he was and that he regretted making such a human being. "That's not how you talk to a customer."

"Say out of this old man!" Zoro yelled over his shoulder. After his yelling he then turned back to Sanji, clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders. He asked in a monotone, "How can I help you?"

"Nice save man," Sanji commented, "Can you sound any friendlier?"

"I could actually," he grumbled, scratching numbly at his chest. "But I won't."

Sanji smirked. "Well whatever shithead, I need something for Vivi." He clasped his hands together, the hearts beginning to form in his eyes, making Zoro sick. "Something that will knock her socks off."

"I'm sure," Zoro sighed, looking over his shoulder again to eye the counter. He turned and headed there. "Whatever, just get over here."

Sanji nodded, following him the short distance and taking that time to look Zoro over. He still had on those clunky combat boots, as if any minute he was expecting to receive a call to go out and fight crime. He was also wearing his dusted and worn out jeans, a neon green studded belt holding it at his waist. Sanji scoffed at the neon, thinking it too offensive for anyone's eyes, not to mention way too blinding. He always hated neon.

Zoro got behind the counter and bent at the waist, getting the large book from under the counter and letting it drop on the table for Sanji to skim through. Sanji flipped through some pages, occasionally looking up at Zoro again.

He noticed the marimo wasn't wearing his shirt that said violence on it, which was a nice change considering where he worked. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt, a large square in the center where his chest was with a picture of a shark on it. The shark was bearing it's teeth and looking like it would jump out of his shirt and attack anyone that came near him. That effect might have been due to the large amounts of blood dripping from its mouth.

"It's rude to stare eyebrows."

His deep voice broke his thoughts. He shook his head, clearing his head. "I swear to God," he muttered. "Where do you find those shirts?"

Zoro slowly looked up at him from under his brow, his eyes narrowing just the slightest. He seemed to ponder on his answer, looking at Sanji like he was wondering if he should allow himself to impart such knowledgeable wisdom on him. "Sales rack at Bloomingdales."

Sanji's jaw would have dropped if he were a lesser man. "You're kidding."

"Of course I am retard." He scoffed.

Sanji smirked a little. "I'm surprised you even know what Bloomingdales is."

Zoro gave him a stern look, something morbid in his features, much like a veteran coming back from war, a haunted speck in his eyes. "Perona drags me there all the time."

If Sanji didn't know any better he would have considered that a whine. And knowing the man, even the few times he had talked to him, he knew he wasn't the type to exactly look forward to going to the mall. "Perona, your girlfriend?"

Zoro paused, thinking about what the hell he was talking about. Then he remembered Perona pretending to be dating him in order to stop being pestered by him and his absurd flirting style. "Oh, yeah. Her."

He didn't want him hitting on her he supposed. She would nag. And nag. And nag. To the point where he seriously considered cutting her throat just to end his misery. He sensed her hiding in the back anyways, to avoid seeing Sanji.

"You gotta please the ladies," Sanji grinned, the corner of his lip curving upward.

Zoro grunted. "That's a laugh. There's no pleasing them."

"Lady trouble huh?" Sanji leaned on the counter, his elbow resting on the desk as he lazily flipped through the book.

Zoro gave him a look. "You would know more than any man."

"Asshole," he muttered, eying the blue lotus he had seen online. "I might reconsider finding a new flower shop since the service is crap."

"Go ahead." Zoro shrugged, looking just as unaffected by the news if Sanji had told him what his neighbor's name was. "Maybe my migraine will go away."

"Well if that's the case I'll have to come over more often," Sanji grinned, knowing that simple statement was a threat to the man.

Zoro stilled his movements to a halt, seeming to have chills in his body. "I forgot to tell you," he startled out slowly, then blurted out quickly, "Business is bad, we'll be closing in a week."

"You're such a terrible liar," Sanji shook his head, chuckling a little.

"Yeah I am. Nice suit by the way."

"Go to hell."

"No, I'm serious, the pink tie brings out your manliness."

Sanji gritted his teeth. "Asshole."

Mihawk emerged from his dwelling at that moment, turning his back to them as he closed the door to his back office after himself. He fixed his shirt collar, a blazing red and pink shirt that looked like he stole from a woman's closet and came to stand next to Zoro. He looked just as stern as he always did, never one to crack a smile he asked, "How are things over here Zoro?"

Zoro threw him a glare. "Just fine old man."

When Mihawk didn't budge, just continued to eye them both Zoro felt himself getting angrier. "Just go. I can handle it. Go out and shop for flower shirts or whatever it is you do."

Mihawk didn't look very amused, but he didn't seem bothered by him either. He stood where he had been the entire time, looking like he had nothing in the world to laugh about.

Sanji grinned at Zoro. "I see you use your charm for everyone." Zoro stopped his staring match with Mihawk to look at Sanji, almost like he forgot he was there. Sanji smiled at Mihawk and extended his hand towards him, trying to be the polite gentleman that he was and to just move on from the uncomfortable situation. "My name's Sanji. Nice to meet you."

Mihawk looked him up and down like a person might take in a criminal during a court hearing. He finally stopped at Sanji's offered hand, frowning a little deeper before meeting his eye. Sanji saw the color in the man's eyes, a yellow that was piercing and put the fear of God in his heart. He still hadn't taken his hand. "I know who you are." Mihawk raised his hand and pointed his index finger in the direction of the security camera behind them. "You came in last week and tore my store apart."

Sanji's mouth went slack as he stood there, at a complete loss for words as Zoro's boss continued to look at him with a death glare that would have made lesser man cry. He loomed over and had a presence like a gargoyle atop of a Gothic Cathedral. "Oh."

"Not to mention you sexually harassed my worker." He continued to glare at Sanji, and in a dark tone added. "You're lucky I'm not pressing charges."

Sanji went bright red, not knowing what to say, and it didn't help that that moronic bastard was grinning like it was Christmas morning. "I see you have the best charm here," he said smugly.

Sanji didn't even register that he should yell at him due to the dark the presence of this man glaring at him like he could see through his soul. Sanji had an urging feeling bolt out the door when the man suddenly got bored, turned away and headed towards the exit. "I'm having a business dinner with Shanks. See you later tonight Roronoa."

"Yeah, have fun."

They watched him stalk away towards the exit, his black trench coat flowing with the wind like he was in a fucking movie. Sanji gulped. Zoro whistled, looking really impressed. "Way to make a first impression curly. That was," he paused. "Awesome."

Sanji gritted his teeth. "That was fucking scary man. Thought he was gonna chop my balls off."

"He's not gonna do nothing, relax dart brow." Sanji still had his eyes trained cautiously on the door. Zoro rolled his eyes, pushing the book of arrangements back at him. "Don't you have an arrangement to pick?"

At that, Sanji snapped back to what was at hand. He told Zoro that he wanted the blue lotus and made Zoro write down a whole sonnet dedicated to Vivi making Zoro's brow twitch. It was so long Zoro thought his arm would fall off with all the writing. Sanji then paid and Zoro had expected him to leave right afterwards but the fuck face just stood there like he was waiting for something else. He didn't know what, he had already handed him his receipt.

"Hey," Sanji said, biting his lower lip. "Give me your number."

Zoro's face didn't move. "Ok, now you're getting creepy."

"It's not creepy asshole. You haven't come in the Baratie for the meal I promised you, so I'm just gonna call you until you come over and eat."

Zoro shrugged. "Don't have a cell phone."

"God you're a shit liar."

"Shut it cook."

"No seriously, how can you call yourself a friend of Usopp's?"

"I don't know, how can an idiot like you call yourself a friend of Robin?"

"Who's the idiot?"

"The stalker in front of me, that's who."

"Number."

"I'm thinking of getting a restraining order."

"Number!"

Zoro sighed, and seeing no real way out if, grumbled as he gave him his cell phone number. "Geez you're a leech."

Sanji nodded, putting his cell phone away after adding Zoro to his contact list, listing him as Marimo.

"Oi, Oi! You put me under my name right?"

"Of course. Asshole. That's your name isn't it?"

"If your name is shit tits, then yeah."

"What did you say?"

"Your eyebrow looks good today, nice and extra curled." Sanji gritted his teeth as Zoro leaned in close to his face, pretending to examine his eyebrow. "Yeah, it looks great man."

Sanji stepped back, frowning at him. He lifted his hand and fixed his suit, jerking his shoulders when he fixed the collar in an exaggerated movement, like he was trying to rid himself of germs that might have passed from standing too close to him. "How you got yourself a girlfriend is beyond me."

Zoro shrugged. "I guess for someone like you it would be hard to figure out."

Sanji grit his teeth so hard he felt the bones being grinded down. He straightened himself, deciding to be the bigger man. That, and there were cameras to record the homicide should he choose to act on his murdering instincts. He fixed his tie, straightening it with both hands even though it was already as straight as pole. "Well then, I trust your algae head can manage to make the delivery."

Zoro rolled his eyes, absentmindedly scratching his neck. Sanji nodded, then headed towards the door. "I'll come by tomorrow to bug you again." Sanji snickered.

Zoro didn't look amused. "By the way, the website is up and running now. You didn't have to come in."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed," he lied.

"Yeah, thought you should know."

"Thanks for telling me. You did such a good job remembering, I'll make sure to give you a treat," he said, running out the store and towards his car.

"Oi! Come over here so I can kick your lily ass!" Zoro yelled.

"Sorry, I got better things to do!" Sanji called over his shoulder, the fucking tease.

Zoro groaned as Sanji once again flicked him off while he drove away.

Perona then chose to emerge from her hiding spot in the back, stepping out cautiously. She noticed his car driving away. "He's gone?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. He didn't know why she asked if she knew the answer. "Yeah he's gone."

Perona looked down at the book, seeing what he ordered, then smiled at the note that Zoro had to write down. She remembered hearing the last bit of their conversation, and looked at Zoro. "Why does he have your number?"

"It's not mine," Zoro said, putting the book away and leaving the note on the desk for Perona to write tomorrow. "I gave him yours."

"You didn't!"

He had to stop himself from grinning because the look of horror on Perona's face was just too good. He raised and lowered his shoulder as he shrugged, trying to look like he was confused about the question. "I don't remember really."

"You better not have!" She balled her fists up, her pale hands trembling in barely contained rage. She lifted her hands and began to punch his arms and chest while Zoro brought up his forearms in defense, smiling at her. She hit like a complete pansy, her punches doing as much damage as Luffy at a salad bar.

"I was kidding you freak," he explained, a devious smile on his face.

She continued to slap him while he made fun of her, getting his forearms and upper arms in what she thought was a painful punch.

[-]

Sanji bit his lip nervously. He had been there the day before, but he was still nervous about calling him. Maybe Zoro was right; he was being a stalker. So what if that asshole didn't want to come in? He would live, not like he needed to feed him to get it off his chest. All he did was give him a ride anyways. Stupid fuck.

He frowned, deciding he really didn't need to call him. He then sighed. He would call him. He knew he would. He figured when he got out of work, he would call him and ask him over for dinner. That asshole knew where he lived anyways.

Sanji had cleaned his apartment the day before when it was his day off. So his apartment was clean, and he had done grocery shopping. He frowned, thinking about how he had bought extra food, already intending on feeding the marimo when he did his shopping.

Patty gave him a look, his face grimacing as he looked Sanji over. Finally, something must have made sense to him in his weird brain because he then broke into a grin. "Thinking of someone are we?"

Sanji's frown deepened. "No."

"You are," Carne broke in, rubbing a hand on his unshaven chin. The bastard got hairier everyday. He really had no right to make fun of the scruff on Sanji's chin because the man had an infestation problem on his entire face. "I've known you long enough to recognize that pathetic face."

Patty made a face, trying to look affectionate. It was a look that was better off never being on his face. "Oh, little Sanji gets that look when he's thinking about someone he loves."

"I'm not in love asshole." He said sharply, focusing with extreme measures on the meal he was supposed to be making.

Carne nudged his side, his face getting too close for comfort as he asked. "So who is it?"

"Your next boss. I'm thinking of firing you."

"You get brattier everyday," he commented, not really looking offended.

Patty grinned. "I bet it's that produce guy, what's his name?" He looked skywards, trying to think of the name. "Vin?"

"Gin. And no, I'm not thinking about him."

"You're still hung up over Conis?"

"No. Now shut up."

"I bet it's 'marimo,' whatever it is. He keeps mumbling that under his breath when he chops something."

Sanji's shoulders were trembling with barely contained rage. Not just because Patty was involving himself in something that had nothing to do with him but also because he had been real close to cutting right through the board at the mention of the marimo.

"Marimo huh?"

Fucking shit. Now even the old man was in on it. When Zeff ever chose to butt in it was always at the wrong time. Sanji thought he did it more as a torture more than anything else since he always made it clear to everyone he didn't give a damn about chitter chatter in his kitchen.

"Stay out of this old man," he warned.

"Green, green," he muttered, tapping his bushy chin. Whenever the old man decided to show he cared it was always bad. He knew Sanji like Robin-Chan knew history. There was no escaping the man. "That one green haired girl, Keimi?"

Sanji smiled to himself a little, remembering the girl then regained his composure. The old man had guessed wrong, but then again, there was no way he could guess right. He hadn't mentioned the marimo before. "No. Not her."

"Well, who is it?" Carne pressed. The man was more obsessed with gossip than the average woman. If that wasn't enough to ping him in the gay-dar he didn't know what did.

Sanji groaned, knowing he would never be able to get to work if he didn't fess up, especially now that the old geezer decided to join Carne and Patty in their little quest to piss him off more than usual. "His name is Zoro."

"Oh, a guy," Patty nudged him. "Had enough of girls already huh?"

Carne snorted. "Only because he completely fails with him."

They both burst into uncontrollable laughter after that, both probably thinking they were funny shit. Sanji threw a knife at Carne for making a remark like that but that lucky bastard had managed to duck and avoid getting stabbed in the face.

"How'd you meet him?" Zeff asked.

"Robin's party."

He didn't want to explain the whole flower thing to him. His old man would only laugh at the ridiculous ways he chose to spend his money. A good amount of it too. So for now, he would never ever mention Kuraigana Bouquets or the fact that Zoro happened to work there. The old man need not know that much.

"What does he do for a living?"

"Don't know."

"How old is he?"

He bit the inside of his lip. He wasn't even sure. He looked around the same age as him but that meant shit. The bastard could either age gracefully or just have done one too many drugs and just aged like fruit left out in the sun.

"Don't know," he admitted.

Zeff gave him a look, irritated with the fact that his kid could look over so major details about a guy he chose worthy enough to mutter his nickname during work. "What _do _you know about him?"

The old man was right. He barely knew a thing about him. Just that he was a competitive motherfucker that apparently liked to pick fights even with his tenant and had a habit of turning every remark into biting sarcasm. "He has green hair, drinks too much, has the gnarliest sideburns I've ever seen and he drives like a grandma."

"And?"

"He's short tempered and ill-mannered."

Zeff nodded, taking in the information just handed to him. After some deducing he snorted, going back to his work, already choosing to end his involvement in the conversation before adding, "Sounds like you."

"Doesn't matter anyways," Sanji added to no one in particular. "He's dating some girl."

Patty whistled, looking impressed with Sanji's latest failures. "Oh you stupid fucker."

Carne laughed. "You always gotta fall for the hard ones."

"I know," he sighed.

Zeff didn't turn back around or say anything to him, but by the way his shoulders were squared with just the slightest bit of tension, he knew that he old man had heard. Not that anything ever slipped by him in his own kitchen.

[-]

He sat in the middle of the couch with his arms crossed over his chest, hating himself more and more. He couldn't believe he had let Perona talk him into this. Any sort of dignity he had was rapidly being demolished by each passing minute.

Perona was standing before him, bent at the waist and leaning towards his face, applying facial cleanser on his face. Mihawk sat on his right looking on with amusement that Zoro had never seen until then. He too had the green gunk on his face, covering his features in a pale cream that made him look ghoulish, and with those freaky yellow eyes he had he looked scarier than any man with facial cleanser on his face should.

Zoro might have thought if someone as strong as Mihawk could sit there while Perona applied cleansers on his face without her needing to beg he could do it too. But he had forgotten while Mihawk was a strong and respectable man, he was also the biggest flamer Zoro had ever met.

Just because he had dreams of one day beating the man didn't mean he had copy everything the man did. It that was the case he would have to invest in more floral printed and ruffled shirts and crucifixes. And large over feathered hats that called way too much attention. Zoro grumbled.

"Hold still!" Perona huffed with the impatience of a spoiled kid that got her way too many times. "It's really good for you!"

Zoro groused about it, but kept still while Perona applied the pale green pasty stuff on his face. He had never felt like a bigger ninny in his life. "Isn't washing my face with soap like normal people enough?"

"It doesn't work as well as this! You'll see what I'm talking about after a while. You'll feel the tingling sensation."

After she finished applying the facial cleanser she took her seat in between Zoro and Mihawk, squirming until she got Zoro to move over to the other side of the couch so she could be in the middle. She only did it so eventually she could rest her head on one of their shoulders and rest her feet on the other's lap. The shit Mihawk let her get away with was unbelievable.

But Perona never outright got into that position, she leaned back on the couch and putt her feet on Mihawk's beloved coffee table that was made of mahogany. Mihawk had yelled at Zoro countless times not to leave his keys on it but Perona's ugly feet were an A O.K.

"What are we watching tonight?" he asked.

Mihawk grabbed the control and pointed it the DVD player. "Near Dark."

"Is that a vampire movie?" Perona asked, looking a little excited, squirming in her seat.

Mihawk nodded in affirmation. Zoro arched an eyebrow higher on his face, and it felt heavier with all the gunky weight on his face. "What is it with you and vampire films?"

"Be quiet Roronoa, movie's starting."

Zoro fidgeted in his seat, trying to get comfortable on the lumpy old couch and trying not to complain about Mihawk's choice in movies. Mihawk watched vampire movies like Luffy watched the cooking channel. It got to a mind numbing level; one could only see so much pointy teeth and blood before seeing it all really. But one thing he could say about Mihawk is that he at least watched _good _vampire flicks, thankful they all agreed never to watch Twilight. Mihawk even shuddered a bit at the notion of watching glittery vampires, surprising Zoro and Perona both.

Zoro got comfortable, resting his forearm on the armrest, watching as the credits started showing. He debated whether he should state what he was thinking but then decided things couldn't get worst, so he said, "My face does feel tingly."

Mihawk nodded, his attention and amusement no longer derived from Zoro. Perona smiled, at him, happy as she exclaimed, "See! I told you!"

After that, Mihawk shushed them, making them all go quiet as they sat silently side-by-side watching the vampire movie. As it went on, Zoro started to hate Mihawk more and more. He hated the fact that he had found a movie that managed to terrify Perona into clinging to his arm, whispering how scary it was into his ear. Mihawk sat on the other end of the couch, looking really annoyed that she was being so noisy.

Zoro thought about tossing Perona over to his side, see how he liked her sharp nails digging into his arm and trying to squeeze her head between his shoulder blades and the couch to shield herself from the movie. But if he really did toss Perona over to Mihawk then no one will be happy.

Suddenly he felt his phone vibrate in his jean pocket. He grumbled, he hated getting phone calls. Or text messages. When he thought about it he really didn't know why he had a cell. It made him easy to find and he hated that. Nevertheless he reached into his pocket, fishing it out. He answered the call before checking who was calling. "Hello?"

"Hey asshole, you busy?"

It was Sanji. Had to be. Who else would call him? Luffy was sleeping over at Usopp's again and he was really the only one to ever bug him.

Zoro smiled down at Perona who was leaning closer to him, but not from fear, just wanting to ease drop on his conversation. He saw Perona titling her head up, not making an effort to pretend she wasn't listening to his conversation. He saw that Mihawk had heard Sanji's voice, but kept his line of vision focused on Bill Paxton as he kicked the barman with a knifed boot and slashed his neck.

"Not really. I'm doing jack shit right now."

He got a hard glare from Mihawk and Perona.

"Excellent. Excellent."

"What do you want Mr. Burns?"

"Funny. Come over, I wanted to invite your uncivil ass over to my humble abode."

"Oh yeah, I was waiting for your call."

"I didn't call to hear you giving me lip."

"Why did you call then?"

"Smart ass. Just come over freak."

"Who is the freak, eyebrows?"

"As I said before," he said calmly, "I didn't call to listen to you give me lip. Just come over so I can cook you something and I'll be able to sleep peacefully again."

"Don't blame your guilty conscience on me."

"Just come over!" he snapped. "Hey, you remember how to get to my apartment right?" Zoro grunted and with that he hung up.

Zoro shut his cell closed, putting it back in his pocket and resumed watching the movie.

Perona raised an eyebrow, leaning in closer to him. "Aren't you going to meet him?"

"When the movie's over."

"Didn't know you enjoyed horror films Roronoa." Zoro shrugged, resulting in Perona slapping him since her head had been resting on his shoulder. Mihawk still had his eyes trained on the T.V. "You shouldn't keep your little friend waiting Roronoa," he said, taking a sip of his wine, carefully avoiding getting some of his facial mask gunk on the rim of his glass.

"He's not my friend."

Mihawk completely ignored his previous comment. "You can take one of my wines, it's rude to show up empty handed to dinner."

Zoro sighed, knowing he was right. He got off the couch and headed to the bathroom to wash his face, finally ridding himself of his shame. He changed out of his pajamas, since they usually wore them when watching a movie, thinking he wouldn't have to leave the house.

When he was changed he walked to the kitchen and looked through the wine cabinet, trying to decide what wine to bring. The only one who drank wine in the house was Mihawk, so he really had no idea what to take. He stared at the bottles until the man yelled from the other room.

"Take a Merlot boy!"

Zoro grumbled, checking the bottles before taking it in hand and walked to the living room, where Perona was now clinging to Mihawk's arm, having moved on to a new scratching post. He smirked at the man's pain and got himself a nice death glare in the process.

"Thanks old man," he said, holding up the wine bottle.

Mihawk, deciding he had been called old by the punk ass one too many times, and was now the new shield for Perona to hide behind from horror movies decided to have his own fun. "Have fun on your date."

"It's not a date," Zoro narrowed his eyes at the older man.

"He's calling you over to have dinner with him." He shrugged out of Perona's hold and looked at Zoro. "I heard you flirting with him on the phone boy."

"That wasn't flirting you pervert."

Mihawk gave him a look, then settled back into his seat. Perona peeked over at Zoro, seeing the wino bottle she smiled. Mmaybe you should take _I Love You Philip Morris_ with you too, you guys can watch it together."

"You two are insane."

Mihawk had the audacity to smile at that one. Perona waved him goodbye. "Have fun Zoro!"

"Funner than hanging out with you two," he grumbled, walking to the front door and taking his keys off the hook.

[-]

Sanji was almost done cooking, which was concerning. He had called the marimo before he even took out the food to begin cooking. And he still wasn't there yet. He frowned at the thought that he wouldn't show up. Moronic bastard. At that thought, there was heavy knocking on the door. Sanji smirked, setting the stove on low and walking through the living room to go answer. He opened the door, seeing the marimo sigh in relief. "Thank God, if I had to knock on another stranger's door I would have given up and gone home."

"Did you get lost?" Sanji asked, really surprised.

"Momentarily disoriented," Zoro said, almost scoffing at him, "there's a difference."

"You got lost. I thought you lived close by."

"I do, but the streets are always confusing."

"Confusing my ass moss ball."

He saw that the marimo was holding a bottle of wine. When Zoro saw him looking at it he shoved it in Sanji's face. "Here."

Sanji blinked, taking it from him. He examined the bottle. "Merlot." He looked at Zoro. "This is nice. Thanks."

Zoro shrugged. "Don't thank me, the creepy old man gave it to me."

Sanji snorted. "Figures." He headed to the kitchen, "Come in. Make yourself comfortable seaweed monster."

"Gee thanks."

He stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room for a moment after he closed the door after himself. He didn't know if he should sit at the kitchen table or take a seat on the couch. He hated being at his place, he barely knew the man. He should have gone to the restaurant, there they told him where to take a seat. He grumbled, then took a seat on the couch. "So what are you cooking anyways?" he called.

"Doesn't matter. You're gonna eat it and you're gonna like it."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

As it turned out, dinner was good and he did like it. But he didn't want to admit it. Ever. It would just go to the curly brow's bubbly head anyway and make him unbearable. He had made a seafood soup, the broth had a weird orange color to it but it tasted good. He didn't know what half the stuff was that he ate, but he enjoyed it.

Sanji was sitting in front of him, chewing his food with a contemplative look on his face, like he was thinking something over. He must he criticizing his own food and judging it, trying to figure out its pros and cons.

Zoro ignored him, or rather, his attention was momentarily gone when he hear a loud noise upstairs, followed by the sound of running water. He turned his head up. "What's that noise?"

"Oh," Sanji said, a look of annoyance on his features as he looked up too. "Just ignore them. Upstairs neighbors."

"I figured it was them, what the fuck are they doing?"

Sanji sighed. "Knowing them they're either washing the dishes or taking a shower," he bit his lower lip, still looking up. "It's fucking water world up there, they got the water running half the time."

Zoro snorted, going back to his meal. "That's life. Get over it."

Sanji stared at him, a comical smirk on his face. "The amount of apathy you have for others is truly inspiring sir."

Zoro didn't answer, shovelling food into his mouth and savoring the food, chewing a little slower than usual. He didn't have meals like this, Mihawk was a good cook and all, but this was better. He felt an eye looking at him, and sure enough when he looked up Sanji was studying him.

"So," Sanji leaned over the table with a shit-eating smirk on his face. "What do you think?"

Zoro swirled the wine in his glass before drinking some. "It's alright."

Sanji's asked in a monotone, "Alright?"

He shrugged. "I've had better."

"My ass you have."

He had given him a fish, with some side dishes, too decorated to know exactly what it was. Zoro grinned, setting his fork down on his now empty plate. Seeing no point in lying any further he asked. "What was it exactly?"

Sanji grinned down at him as he stood, picking up their plates. "Poison. The world will finally be rid of you."

"Trying to kill me shit cook?"

"Not trying. The poison will take effect in," he paused, raising his arm to his range of vision and making a show of looking at his watch. "About an hour. I put enough poison to kill gorilla. That should do for you I think."

"Ahh," he wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Don't come to my funeral then. I don't want you there."

"Are you kidding? I'll be the one dancing there."

"No respect for the dead."

"The world will be a better place I'm sure."

"Not really, you'll still be here."

Sanji ignored him. "The women would cheer over your death, then they'll all come flocking to me."

"So you admit it's only if I'm out of the way that you'll have a chance with women."

"Perona's with you out of pity I'm sure." Sanji nodded. "Yes, your death is the answer to all my problems. All the ladies will be mine."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Unless every man in the entire universe died, that will never happen."

"Like I said before, it's pity on physically repulsive bastards like you."

"If that were true you would have a woman by now."

Sanji glared. "Asshole."

After he finished washing the dishes, making Zoro help him dry them he went to his cabinet and opened it. "Hey you alcoholic bastard, I got some Jack, you want that?"

Zoro grinned. "Yeah I'll take the Jack."

Sanji rolled his eyes, taking out a glass and getting ice cubes to serve him with. He handed it to Zoro. "You didn't seem to enjoy the wine too much."

Zoro shrugged. "It was alright I guess."

Sanji chuckled, taking the rest of the wine with him to the living room and sat on the couch as he served himself some more. Zoro went over and took a seat next to him, downing half the Jack. Sanji eyed him. "Bloody hell. Just take the entire bottle," he waved his hand dismissingly, "You'll finish it all anyways."

"You sure?" Zoro asked, "Don't wanna take all your good drinks."

Sanji shrugged, slipping on some wine. "One glass is not enough for an alcoholic bastard like you anyways, just get the rest from the cabinet."

Zoro stood, going over to the cabinet and opening it, spying a shit load of bottles. His face lit up. "Holy hell cook. You got good shit in here." He touched some of the bottles, noticing he had two more bottles of Jack Daniel's in there. "Patron, 151, Absolut."

Sanji scoffed. "I keep that for when my alcoholics buddies like you come over." He lifted a brow. "Ok, stop looking at my booze cabinet like it's a shrine, you're creeping me out."

Zoro frowned, tentatively moving away from the cabinet after taking the bottle of Jack with him and returned to his spot next to Sanji. "Well, thanks," he said, chugging down the rest of the glass and serving himself more Jack. He saw Sanji looking at him/ "What dart brow?"

Sanji shook his head, "I just can't believe you can down it that fast and not get, I don't know, an Asian glow or slur or something."

Zoro smirked, sipping on the Jack, the ice cubes touching his lips. "Not good with alcohol I take it?"

Sanji gave him a look. "I can handle it just fine. I'm just not a monster like you."

"Don't forget Nami-swan," he teased.

"Nami still maintains a lady like manner when drinking, you however, never had class, thus, monster."

Zoro snorted, downing more of the drink, sighing happily when he was done. Sanji leaned back on his couch and flipped on the T.V. Zoro, still holding his drink in hand, leaning back against the couch too, relaxing as Sanji went through the channels, his lip twitching when he saw something he didn't care for before settling on Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Zoro grinned. "No way! I used to watch this as a kid! They always played it on T.V."

"Cable?" Sanji asked, looking at him from the rim of his glass.

"Fuck cable," Zoro scoffed. "Basic channels are the way to go."

Sanji snorted. "I'm sure."

Zoro smirked. "You had cable I'm guessing."

"I had a fulfilled childhood, thank you very much." He turned towards the T.V. and saw that the movie was just starting. "So we watching this then?"

Zoro shrugged, swirling his cup absentmindedly, making the ice cubes clink against the glass.

There was silence was the movie played when Zoro turned his head towards Sanji, "I bet I know more lines than you."

Sanji snorted, pretending to find the marimo humorous. "Your green head wishes."

Zoro turned to face the T.V. and started to quote the lines, "The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

He said it all, not messing up, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"That's creepy dude," Sanji muttered, staring at Zoro like he had showed him a dead baby.

"Whatever, your turn."

"Ok, but first, what are the stakes?" he was in a challenging mood.

Zoro seemed to think about it for a moment, then said. "Whoever messes up takes a drink."

"Drunkard."

They started their competition, seemingly the only way they knew how to pass the time and were both laughing when it was Sanji's turn. He cleared his throat and began with his next set of lines assigned to him. "A family member dies, and you insult me! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"You forgot to say 'anyways' at the end," Zoro said, grinning, slyly passing a shot of 151 closer to Sanji across the coffee table. They had decided they might as well bring out Sanji's drinks and chug it during their game. Zoro of course was more than thrilled over the idea.

"Shit." Sanji said, taking down another shot. He turned his attention back to the T.V. "I'm very sorry Mr. Peterson."

"Call me sir goddamn it," Zoro said, grinning.

Sanji burst into laughter after that. They took down more and more drinks as the movie went on, and Sanji was very tipsy, which made him slur and mess up some of his lines. Zoro on the other hand seemed as sober as when he first walked in the apartment. That motherfucker.

Zoro nudged his side, startling Sanji a bit. They had eventually eased off the couch and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, their backs resting on the couch. "This is your line."

"Ferris Bueller, you're my hero." Sanji said, making a face while looking at Zoro.

They kept laughing and drinking until the movie ended, the song Oh Yeah playing as the end credits showed. Sanji looked at the glasses on the table, the empty bottles that they had managed to take down during the two-hour movie, then at Zoro, who only grinned. Sanji sighed, letting himself slide completely to the floor, where he laid there. "I'll pick up tomorrow. I'm drunk."

Zoro chuckled; sliding down was well until he was on the floor next to Sanji. They must have seemed like two drunkards with the empty bottles on the coffee table, their breath heavily stained with alcohol. Their feet were under the coffee table. Sanji lifted one leg up and toed one of the legs, moving it away from them, not wanting to be any closer to the bottles than he needed to.

They were quiet for a long time, staring at his ceiling fan like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. After a few minutes of hearing oh yeah over and over again Sanji got the remote that was thankfully close to him and turned off the T.V. making his apartment more quiet.

Sanji closed his eyes, thinking about how quiet the marimo was. It was nice to have that stupid competition with him, even though it ended with him getting drunk. He heard Zoro laugh a lot of times during the course of the night, and he wanted to think it was because he was having a good time, and not, per say, because of a generous amount of booze.

He was pretty close to falling asleep, and since the marimo wasn't making much noise, figured he was asleep too when there was a loud noise from upstairs. They heard heavy footsteps and heard what that sounded like something heavy was being dragged across the floor.

"What the fuck?" he heard Zoro ask. He cracked open an eyes and turned his head to see Zoro's baffled expression staring at the ceiling above. "The hell are they doing up there?"

Sanji sighed. "It's like this every night." He brought a hand to his face, rubbing his closed eye. "Furniture orgies I tell you."

Zoro chuckled, his chest heaving up and down as he breathed in and laughed softly. Sanji found himself smiling too at his own joke, corny as that may be. He had always wanted to say that joke out loud.

Zoro smirked, turning his head to look at Sanji. "So where is your crap restaurant?"

"Ha! I knew it. You loved my food."

"Not really, I just want to drop off Luffy one day. Have fun feeding the kid."

"You're going straight to hell."

"See you there buddy."

"It's on Main and 4th. I don't know how you can miss a giant fish shaped restaurant."

"Ahh. You're the fish place."

He snorted. "Yes I'm the fish place."

"I've seen it before," he mumbled, "Just never knew the name. Or of the evil demon that lurks in there."

"Now you know. Doesn't it feel nice to be informed?"

"Yeah, now I know to say the hell away from Main and 4th."

"Whatever, you'll get lost and end up there anyways."

"Shut up dart brow."

"I will when I feel like it ass wipe." He looked at Zoro. "So you gonna stop by the Baratie or what?"

"Nope."

"The fuck, then why'd you ask where it was?"

"Dropping Luffy off, I told you. I can't afford to keep feeding him when his dad leaves him in my care for the day."

"There's a special little place in hell for you I'm sure."

"Talking to yourself cook?"

"You're hilarious."

The sound of running water sounded again, this time getting louder than before. They heard more noises coming from upstairs too, making them both stare angrily at the ceiling. It was enough to drive any man insane. Zoro grimaced at the sound. "I'm waiting for Kevin Costner to come crashing through the ceiling."

Sanji smiled, imaging that would happen one day. His head felt heavy lying on his carpeted living room floor. "That would be the most exciting thing to happen all night."

He heard a short chuckle beside him, a brief show of amusement. "Glad you enjoyed my company."

"Who's nuts enough to enjoy your company?"

Zoro only grunted in response.

The water turned off again, the apartment having an obviously less amount of noise. The room settled back into a comfortable silence between the two. Sanji was starting to feel the alcohol in his system with more intensity and he wanted nothing more than to take a nap.

Zoro shook his head. "You must hate living here."

"I live alone right below water world marimo. Figure it out."

"Could be worst. You could live with a freaky old man and an annoying Gothic chick."

"I guess," Sanji smiled. "But no. There's a lady there, I'm sure I would be happy."

"More balls than brains."

"Asshole." He sighed, closing his heavy eyelids. "I'm tired. And really drunk."

Zoro groaned. "I should get going." He made no attempt to move. "Thanks for dinner."

"Uh-huh."

They both didn't move from where they were.

"Hey shit head. Get going already."

"Give me a minute." He groaned and he lifted himself up, standing, he flattened his shirt, taking away wrinkles. He looked down at Sanji, seeing he was quite possibly half way to sleep. He snored. "Bye shit cook."

He headed towards the door, opening it and about to leave when he heard Sanji speak.

"Hey."

Zoro turned around, his hand still touching the door know and saw Sanji still lying on the floor. He smiled a little to himself, he could deny it all he wanted but he was terrible with alcohol. His cheeks were rosy and he knew the blond would wake up hung over the next day. "What?"

"Let's do this again some time," he said.

"What? Drink you under the table?"

He heard him snort, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "That too."

Zoro chuckled, shaking his head a little. "Sure thing love cook." He walked through the door and shut it after him.

Sanji lay there on the floor, drumming his fingers on his chest, staring at the ceiling.

He watched the ceiling fan move its blades in that same circular pattern, watching it slice the air, feeling it move the hair from his face. His back was beginning to ache a little, but he continued to lay there unmoving, not even aware of his fingers still drumming on his chest.

He heard the upstairs neighbors turning on the water again and the stomping was getting to the point where he felt they would crash through his ceiling at any moment.

Sanji didn't mind though, he just laid there, grinning to himself.

[-]

My bro and I just moved into a new apartment. We don't have furniture yet so we've been sleeping on the floor like a couple of drunks. I don't know when I'll be able to update because I'll be busy settling in, stealing furniture, juggling school and work. Just a head's up for you beautiful people. And for the ugly people too of course.


	4. Dracula

Chapter Four: Dracula

**This chapter is dedicated to Merucha, who is free to cuss on FF, the lucky girl. **

**It is because of her you have this chapter for she kept cussing at me to upload something. (Not really, but she could have if she really wanted to, but she's too nice for that.) So everyone, PM her a thank you. Spam her inbox with thank yous. SPAM IT I TELL YOU. Go make her day people. **

**[-]**

To say he was surprised to see Shanks show up to work on time was an understatement. Astonished seemed more like the proper word really. Shanks even looked sober too, which was almost as rare as seeing so much as a tiny smirk on Mihawk's face. Zoro stood there, face slack from shock as Shanks strutted his way to his office; he couldn't find it in him to even respond when Shanks smiled brightly and waved an arm manically over his head as a greeting. It always baffled Zoro that the man could be so sickeningly happy and greet him like he hadn't seen him in years when in truth he had seen him the day before.

Even in his stupefied daze he noticed Shanks was holding a camera but said nothing about it, just watched the man walk to the back to where he shared an office with Mihawk, to do what, Zoro didn't really want to know. After he visibly shivered he went back to sweeping the stray petals that littered the floor.

Zoro heard Shanks greet Mihawk with much gusto, ever happy to see him. He shook his head, the days Shanks actually came by he would make sure his presence was known with his loud voice and even louder laugh. And he laughed a lot. Until that moment Zoro had just assumed it was the alcohol, but since coming in sober he had no idea what to think.

After he finished cleaning he was about to check what orders he had to make when Luffy marched in, his flip-flops flapping against the floor and the back of his feet and he strutted in. Luffy, just like his old man had a huge grin on his face that put Botox patients to shame. "Hey Zoro!"

"Seriously kid, are you ever in school?"

"Oh," it was then he broke in boyish laughter, leaning in to whisper loudly. "I ditched today."

"So you come to your dad's work?"

"Well I came to see you. Geez Zoro, keep up." Zoro choose to bite his tongue at Luffy rolled his eyes at him. Then, Luffy added. "Just don't tell my dad."

"He's here."

"What? _Really?_"

"He owns the place dumbass."

"So? He always visits the bar before coming here. I thought for sure I had an hour before he came in."

"Trust me, it surprised me too."

Luffy scratched his scalp noisily, thick black hair curling around his fingers as he did so. "Weird."

Perona's massive Goth boots announced her presence as she came out of the back room. She cocked her head to the side when she noticed Luffy; her jaw going slack at the sight of him. "Luffy? You're here early."

"So is his dad," Zoro added dully.

"Yeah, I heard," she looked to their office. "Drunk again?"

"He looked pretty sober."

Perona nodded, titling her head to look at the clock above the display section. "Well," she bit her lip as took in the time. "He didn't stop by the bar, so that makes sense."

"Perona! Zoro! Get over here!"

The two jumped in place when the Shanks suddenly started hollering their names. Zoro threw Luffy a confused look, and he only shrugged, just as confused as he was. Shrugging, the two o f them made their way to the office. Shanks was sitting on Mihawk's desk, smiling widely at them with a crazed look in his eye. Mihawk stared dully at his computer; looking irritated that Shanks' ass was atop some papers.

"What?" Zoro asked. It didn't look like he was in trouble, and he couldn't remember doing anything wrong lately.

"I'm making another section on the website," Shanks said, holding the camera. "I'm going to add a picture of all of us. Isn't that exciting?"

"Not really," Zoro added quickly.

Perona was staring, her mouth open like fish. "What? That's completely unnecessary."

"We need pictures of the employees," Shanks smile widened. "Makes the customers feel welcomed," with a dismissing wave of his hand, he looked at Mihawk, "Right Hawk eyes?"

Only a grunt was heard.

"Fuck that," Zoro said bluntly.

Both his boss's lifted their heads, each about to say something when Luffy waltzed inside the already crowded office. He stood between Zoro and Perona, looking from person to person. "What? You're going to take pictures?"

"Luffy!" Shanks exclaimed, looking at his son with a flabbergasted expression. "You're supposed to be in school!"

Both Zoro and Perona rolled their eyes, even Mihawk, the most taciturn man in the planet spoke up. "He's supposed to be in school all those times you bring him in here."

Shanks completely ignored him and looked at Luffy questioningly. "Did you ditch?"

Luffy smiled proudly. "Yup."

Cocking his head back Shanks gave way to another round of hysterical laughter. "That's my boy!"

Zoro and Mihawk groaned at the same time, Perona just stood there quietly gaping at Shanks.

A round of groans was heard all around the room. Eventually when Shanks' laughter died down, he set up his tripod and tried to squeeze all of them in the corner of the room so they could all be included in the photo. He said it made it looked family owned and welcoming to customers.

Mihawk and Zoro stood side by side, both expressions null of excitement. "Smile for the camera Roronoa," Mihawk muttered.

"Fuck that, you don't pay me enough for that."

"I could up your rent if you want."

"Fuck."

"Come on Zoro, smile."

When that got no reaction Shanks sighed, then looked at Luffy. "Make Zoro smile."

It had taken over an hour to get a good picture of Zoro since it had been taken forever to get to him to laugh at whatever Luffy was doing. First, he had started off telling lame jokes, then he tried making funny faces but it only made Zoro recoil in fear and disgust. Then he tried imitating Mihawk but he had seen enough of Luffy's imitations that it wasn't funny anymore. Eventually though, he had laughed and that's when Luffy took the picture and Shanks posted it online.

Zoro hated the picture. He looked liked a fucking retard.

[-]

He always hated dealing with the assholes at the gate. The guards were more uptight and prissy than Perona when she didn't get her way. Even when he cleared through the gates he would have to step out of his car and get sniffed by a pack of German Sheppard's to check if he was packing any sort of explosions because he apparently looked the type.

It was worst than usual because he had thought it a great idea to bring Luffy with him. After the pictures were taken, Zoro had fled, going to make his usual deliveries, taking Luffy with him. So they were both stood together, arms raised, parallel to their shoulder and feet apart in a wide stance. Zoro turned his head to see Luffy with a huge smile on his face, looking more excited than a white guy at a disco. He turned to Zoro. "I've never been searched before Zoro! This is so much fun!"

He shook his head. Only the idiot would think so. As for him, having gone through it more times than he cared to remember, it was not fun anymore. If it ever was. He vaguely remembered just handing it to the guards and saying to give it to Vivi, it wasn't a big deal. But somewhere along the way he had befriended her and now it would be rude not to come inside and say hi, even if it was a huge pain in the ass to get groped by random men to check him.

Vivi was standing at the entrance of the grand manor, blushing like mad at the sight of Zoro and Luffy being searched even though she had vouched for them and said they were her friends. "I'm sorry about this Zoro," she said, "and Luffy."

Pell and Chaka, her two personal guards were at either side of her, looking plain faced, mostly accustomed to such things. Zoro shrugged, he didn't blame her for it, it was their job so he couldn't really hold a grudge against her, the asshole guards were a different manner. Luffy grinned. "Are you kidding? This is so much fun!"

One time he argued that there was no way he could possibly carry anything lethal in a flower boutique but one of guards had told him that a pizza delivery guy had hid PETN on his person once, which was a little more than concerning. "Hey, hey! You done copping a feel?" Zoro snapped at the guard who was sure taking his sweet ass time checking him.

The guard grumbled and stood, but didn't say anything back to him. Most of it had to do with Vivi still being there. Vivi giggled and jerked her head for them to come inside. They walked through her living room and Luffy had his jaw hanging open and wanted to touch everything that was expensive and fairly easy to break, so Zoro had to keep him close. Vivi paid him no mind and just gave a small smile to Zoro when he handed her the flowers, not bothering to say who they were from.

One of Vivi's maids materialized out of thin air and took the flowers, setting them inside a vase already filled with water. When she left, the three of them went to her backyard, where she had a huge ass pond filled with ducks. Luffy carried a big load of bread with him, something he stole from the kitchen, and for once the stolen food wasn't for himself. They watched as he ripped big chunks and threw it in the water, laughing like a lunatic whenever the ducks swam closer to him and fought for the bread.

"Not that big of a chunk Luffy!" Vivi called. "They might choke!"

Luffy laughed, and they didn't know if he took what she said seriously, so they shrugged and enjoyed the sun, sitting on the bench closest to Luffy.

"How've you been Mr. Zoro?"

"Fine, you?"

She smiled. "You know, busy with things."

He chuckled. "Yeah. How's your dad?"

"He's fine. Busy as well. But he's been better."

Zoro nodded, then looked at her profile. "What are the flowers for? Blondie mentioned something, I don't remember though."

She smiled. "Anniversary of when I met him, I think," she broke into an embarrassed smile. "I'm not sure really, he's better at remembering this sort of thing."

He laughed. "Figured. He's probably a bigger woman in the relationship."

She giggled. "Yes, his ex-boyfriend used to tease him about that."

His jaw went slack and he looked at Vivi with baffled expression. "Ehh?"

Vivi paled for a moment, then her hands shot up to her mouth. "Oh my god, you didn't know." She looked to the side, panic written all over her features as she starting to mumble to herself like she was trying to figure something out. "Maybe I wasn't supposed to say anything. Oh, he should be the one to tell people, not me. Oh my, I've made such a big mistake." She managed to sneak a look at Zoro, who was staring at her oddly.

Zoro eyed her. "You're serious about this. The cook is bi?" She didn't move her hands from her mouth, and her eyes were wide with worry, but she nodded her head. "We talking about the same Sanji?"

"I think so," she said weakly.

"One mutant eye Sanji? Deformed eyebrow? Hormones of an 11-year-old boy who just discovered masturbation? Wears suits all the time? Road raging Sanji? Drools over tits Sanji?"

She giggled. "That's the one."

He twisted his lips, looking at her while he nodded slowly. "Hmm." With that he shrugged, slumping in his seat and looking at Luffy.

Vivi didn't know what to make of it. She knew he was usually neutral about everything, but even this was a bit much. She asked him. "Promise you won't say anything? He hasn't told everyone, I don't think Nami knows."

"I won't."

They sat together silently, watching Luffy run in circles, the ducks wobbling after him as he laughed, running while throwing chunks of bread over his shoulder.

"You're not," she paused. "Freaked out?"

"To each their own. Don't care either way. Just surprised."

She smiled. "Good. And please don't tell him I told you."

He raised his shoulder, lowering it again in a shrug. "I don't see how it would come up either way."

[-]

Usually there was a stale smell in the old man's office, hanging over them like a chandelier that came with badly scented candles but since they had been making a habit of eating together during their lunch breaks in his office, the smell of food overwhelmed the place.

Zeff mentioned he liked his peace and quiet when he ate, so he chose to stay away from the other cooks. After his meals he took out his newspaper, flicking his wrist to open the paper. Sanji had been joining him in his office to share lunches more than usual. Part of it was because the other cooks always mentioned something about him having an attitude. Even the old man complained about it but he found him tolerable as he nicely put it, and didn't mind him being there.

Though Sanji would have preferred to be in the company of a pretty lady, it was better than hanging out with Carne and Patty, who spent the better half of their lunch break teasing him or making out in front of him, which did wonders to upset his stomach and make him lose his appetite.

"I trust you'll have the new menu ready by next week."

Sanji munched on his food before talking. "Next week?"

"Of course," he flicked his wrist, the paper ruffling a bit before settling at a more erect angle, making it better for him to read. His reading glasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, reading about something boring Sanji could only guess.

Sanji shrugged. "Sure thing geezer."

Companionable silence fell over them as Sanji continued with his meal. The clink and clank of his silverware filled the room as he set it down in the middle of his plate, having finished with his meal. It was unusual that they ever stayed that quite when in each other's company. Usually they fought, or occasionally took the roles of proper father and son and asked about each other's lives. Though the old man never did give him much to work with, keeping with responses at three syllables max. That meant he had to do most of the talking, even if it involved talking about things he didn't want to. Such as casually mentioning that he had Zoro over and they had drank until he earned himself a blistering headache.

Zeff looked up at him, bushy eyebrows going up in question. "Ignoring what I just heard, how are things with this Zoro boy?"

"Good."

"I'll ask again," he licked his thumb and flipped a page, his eyes settling on the top of the page and started to shift as he read. He was always great at multitasking, choosing to read while Sanji talked. It always made him wonder if he really paid attention. "What does he do for a living?"

"He's a hitman," he said, hiding a smirk. He always said shit like that to get the old man's attention.

It got the desired effect, the old man looked at him from over the newspaper. "You mean to tell me this man has access to firearms and he hasn't killed your annoying ass yet?" he saw Sanji giving him a glare but paid no mind, just shrugged. "Must be love."

"Thanks old man."

"Anytime son," his bottom lip parted from the top one, a habit he did when he came across something partially interesting. "How old is he?" he asked absently.

"Forgot to ask."

"Dumbass," he scoffed.

"I'll ask him next time I see him."

"Seems to me I know just about the same about him as you do." He hummed after that, his left hand going up to twirl the end of his moustache. He always looked like a super villain when he did that.

"Shut up old man," he crossed his legs, playing with the discarded silverware, twirling the fork between his middle and index finger. "I'll ask him when I see him."

Finishing the article, Zeff put his paper down, folding it atop his desk while having his eyes trained on Sanji. "How did you even get his number?"

"I asked him for it."

Zeff took a sip form his wine. "How?"

"Give me your number," he said in the same tone he asked Zoro.

The geezer didn't look impressed. He continued to look at him, the same way he always looked at him when he had been growing up, and he could never tell what he was thinking. Sometimes Sanji wished he talked more. At least he muttered, "Charming."

"It's the only thing that gets through to him."

Zeff brought the white linen cloth to his lips and wiping his mouth from the moisture the wine left on his lips, setting it down again in that gruff manner of his. "Never mind. I think I know the type."

Sanji rolled his eyes. The geezer thought he knew everything.

"Young people," he shook his head. "Don't know shit about romancing anymore."

Sanji grumbled in response. Shitty old man.

[-]

Zoro had spent the afternoon with Luffy after his shift was over. They had gone to get something to eat, mostly something to drink for him. After that he had dropped Luffy off at Usopp's house. For them it was movie night and Luffy had grinned widely when he showed he was bringing a scary movie over. Usopp would love it for sure.

Parking his truck in the driveway of his home, he stepped out and walked up the porch, ready to go to bed after a work out, maybe just sleep. As soon as he walked inside Perona came out of nowhere and clung to him, tears in her eyes. There was nothing that he wanted to do more than to toss her aside. Why she was crying, he had no idea. It wasn't exactly a rare sight so he wasn't worried. She cried for any damn reason, it varied from a nasty breakup to losing her favorite pink highlighter. Either way, he never cared.

It had been a long day and he wasn't feeling especially sympathetic, so he groaned, rubbing a hand over his tired face. Gripping her shoulder lightly, he pushed her back a little. "Dan you shut up?"

She stopped crying enough to glare at him angrily and slap his arm. "You're just as insensitive as Mihawk!"

"Why are you crying?' he asked, ignoring the comparison that he didn't quite appreciate. He walked past her, towards the fridge. Upon opening it a gently cool air hit his face and he smiled at the sight of his can of Sapporo. The click of her heavy boots followed him. He turned around as he opened the can, seeing thick black streaks running down her cheeks.

"It's Dracula!" she sniffed grossly, wiping some tears away with the sleeve of her shirt. "He's been run over!"

Gulping half the contents, he looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "Again?" This had got to be a record. It seemed that cat was harder to kill than the owner. Leaning against the counter he asked, "So what?"

"We gotta take him to the vet! He's hurt this time! Really hurt!"

Zoro yawned. "Why hasn't Mihawk taken him? It's his cat," he scratched at his chest. "Plus that cat can live through the apocalypse, it's really no big deal."

"Mihawk is gone! We gotta take Dracula to the vet." She beat his chest with small knuckles, her small pale hands balled into tiny fists and punching him. "He's really hurt this time."

Zoro sighed. There was no getting out of this. Sighing, he got out his car keys and set his beer aside.

"Alright, get the evil little bastard."

[-]

The car ride consisted of Perona shrieking the entire time, yelling at him to drive faster. He went along with her, driving fast to get the evil creature to the vet in about half the time it normally would if he had actually followed the speed limit. Occasionally he looked over to see the little abomination nestled in a blanket in Perona's slim arms.

It did look a little bent out of shape, but that thing had survived through so much, he didn't really see a need to panic. He was sure it would live. After all, it still had enough energy to hiss every time Zoro eyed the evil creature. Its one eye shone anger and defiance. It was one seriously damaged cat and he didn't mean it in a physical sense.

Perona was a blubbering idiot at the moment, cuddling the viscous ball of black molten fur to her chest and saying it would be all right. Why she cared, he didn't know. It had scratched her more times than anyone else in the house, mostly because she didn't have enough sense to leave it alone. It obviously didn't like any of her furry pink sweaters but she never learned her lesson.

They pulled into the parking lot of the vet soon enough, getting out in a hurry and running to the front desk. Well, Perona did, Zoro walked briskly after her. When the doors slid open he saw Perona with the little bundle of evil in her arms, leaning over the counter and yelling at the nurse.

"This cat got run over! It needs help!" Perona wailed like a child.

The nurse looked over her glasses that were perched on her narrow nose casually enough. Then her facial expression changed and Zoro could guess what she was about to say. "Oh my God! Does that cat have one eye?"

He looked at the cat in her arms, all mangled up, twitching in her arms. It made a coughing sound; it could have been a hairball or chunks of a bald eagle or a great dane that it managed to maul to bits.

Zoro shrugged. "Lost it like last month. Don't ask how."

The nurse looked horrified, her eyes casting from Zoro back to the cat. A little startled, and picked up her phone with a shaky hand. She spoke with an even shakily voice into the phone. "Dr. Chopper?"

The rest was gone on deaf ears as Zoro turned his head towards Perona. "Chopper?" Zoro asked. Perona nodded weakly, her eyes traveling back to Dracula, who made a meager attempt to craw at her face as she looked at it sadly. "You want to trust a doctor named _Chopper?_" he asked.

Perona snapped her head up. "He's a good vet!" she defended.

Zoro shrugged. Whatever, it wasn't his cat. And he was sure Dracula could survive a doctor named Chopper.

[-]

As it turns out, Chopper was a good doctor. A nervous case that didn't do well to compliments, and the stereotypical big guy that was actually a big cream puff in the center, but nonetheless a certified vet. After telling the doc what was up with the cat, he removed the cat from Perona's arms and sent them out to wait in the waiting room.

Slumping against he uncomfortable chair - it didn't matter that it was trimmed with cushions - he tapped his foot over and over again on the linoleum floor, waiting for the news for the stupid cat. No doubt it would miraculously live. That thing was harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids.

Once in a while, Perona would start crying again and hide her face in his shoulder, but mostly she kept to herself, biting her fingernails with worry and tapping her foot at a faster rate that he was. They were the only two in the room and with the silence it could have sounded like two tap dancers.

Feeling a bit of compassion of her, he awkwardly put an arm around her and tried to think of something to say. Quit menstruating didn't seem appropriate. There there seemed too simple, and not very comforting. He settled for silence and was thankful when she didn't complain.

Afterwards she sat up straight and wiped her face, looking more ghoulish than usual. Any other time he would have made a crack at that but decided against it. The poor girl looked stressed enough. Making a choking sound, she asked around her wrist that was busily wiping her face. "Have you got a hold of Mihawk yet?"

He shook his head. "No, not yet."

A sound got their attention and both set of eyes went to his pocket, which was now vibrating.

"Please tell me it's your phone."

"Very funny," he reached for it. "Must be Mihawk."

Checking the call ID, he saw it wasn't Mihawk, but the eyebrow wonder. Him and Perona exchanged a look and he shrugged, answering nonetheless. "What?"

"Hey asshole," Sanji greeted him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm at the vet right now."

"Mihawk took you to get your rabies shot I see."

"Yeah," he said dully. "Don't worry, while I was here I scheduled for you to get neutered. Tuesday at noon, got that?"

"What did you say?"

"They have a special so they'll only charge you like half. I think the women of the world will be happy."

"You motherfu-!"

"Well, actually," Zoro cut him off. "You don't actually need it, do you?"

"Well, I was going to invite you over. I have a movie and plenty of drinks, but I guess you're busy getting stabbed by needles you wild anim-"

"You have drinks?"

"Not for you."

"Cook," there was a long silence, "I liked your cooking last week."

"Trying to butter me up?"

"Is it working?"

There was a sigh on the other end. "Yeah." Cooking was his weakness. "Text me when you're on your way."

"Will do."

After that he hung up, seeing Perona starting at him with those huge bug eyes of her. He wasn't going to lie; those eyes freaked him out sometimes. She was a bug eyed creep with eyeliner to top it off.

The doors opened and they looked up to see Chopper. Perona stood up first, walking over, meeting him halfway. "How is he?"

When Zoro was next to her she gripped his arm, fingernails digging into his arm through his leather jacket, she was probably bracing herself for the bad news. Chopper looked nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to another. He clearly wasn't used to delivering bad news.

"It's alright," Zoro assured him.

Chopper gulped. "Not good."

The fingers clutching his arm dug deeper into his arm and damn if it didn't hurt just a little bit. Perona looked panicked all over again. "But he's going to be all right, right?" she asked weakly.

Zoro wanted to roll his eyes but resisted. Women, they made their lives a soap opera.

"He's going to have to spend the night," Chopper said sadly.

Zoro failed at hiding his smile. "Sweet deal."

One night without having to worry about that cat attacking him when he walked down the hall for a midnight piss did his heart wonders. He was expecting to get the bitch slap of his life but Perona had other things on her mind than his rude behavior. Gasping, finally letting go of his arm and covering her mouth with her hand, she asked with tears in her eyes like she was about to cry. "Will he make it?"

"It's hard to say right now," Chopper said sadly. "We'll know of his condition in the morning. Until then, there's not much else I can do."

Though Zoro did like Chopper, he wanted to kill him at the moment because that sent Perona into another fragile state that ended up with her in his arms as she wailed loudly and left big tears marks on his shirt.

"I'm sorry."

Zoro wasn't sure if Chopper was talking to Perona or to him, he was even more confused when the doctor's eyes travelled from Perona to him, brown eyes flickering some worry.

[-]

There was a knock on the door, and though he sounded like a freak, he knew it was Zoro, since he recognized the knock. He had texted him a few minutes ago saying he was coming over and bringing Perona, since she didn't exactly want to be left alone. Sanji hadn't minded, he wasn't going to deny a lady in his home, though it sort of defeated the purpose of spending time with the marimo. But he supposed it was for the best. He wasn't going to get in the way if Zoro was taken.

Sanji opened the door after the fourth knock, he could have answered by the third but he had been looking at himself in the mirror on the wall to see if his hair covered his eye completely. When he swung the door open his visible eye widened and he had to control himself. "What the hell happened to you?"

Zoro gave him a look. "Nothing."

"What happened?" Sanji chuckled through the hand on his mouth, eyeing the nice handprint that was now on Zoro's cheek.

Next to him was Perona; arms folded across her chest, standing numbly by Zoro's side and just rolled her eyes as Zoro sighed, muttering under his breath, "I went to your neighbors thinking it was your place. I knocked on the door, yelling, 'open up bitch tits!'" he looked away, looking embarrassed. "Turns out she didn't appreciate the nickname."

There was silence for only a brief moment before it was broken. Zoro sighed. "Ok, stop laughing."

Sanji was hanging onto the doorframe to keep from falling, he was laughing so hard. He brought a hand to his face to wipe away stray tears. "That's what you get!" he managed to exclaim between laughs.

Zoro stood there, torn between punching him in the face or standing there politely while he laughed, at his expense, but his previous booze was on the line. "Not funny," he rubbed his cheek. "She full on went Chuck Norris on me." He rubbed his cheek again. "Crazy bitch."

Perona slapped his arm and Sanji yelled at him, the both of them telling him it was rude to call a lady a bitch, especially since he was the one who called her bitch tits. After the yelling and nagging Sanji allowed them both inside, telling him to sit anywhere they liked. They both opted for the couch, sitting down. Sanji sat on the arm of the chair, looking down at Perona. "What brings you here my lady?"

She looked at him tiredly, "Dracula, Mihawk's cat is still at the vet." She picked her nails, looking underneath them at the skin. "I didn't want to go home."

"I'm sorry to hear about your heartache," he began, and noticed Zoro giving him a disgusted look.

He stopped, getting up. "Would you like something? I could make dinner if your heart desires."

She shrugged. "Zoro said you guys drink right?"

Zoro was looking at Sanji with alarmed eyes, his hand swinging at the wrist under his neck, warning him no. His eyes were wild, wide and looking at the cook with a crazy face. Sanji looked perplexed, raising his curled eyebrow and then looked at Perona, returning all his attention to her. "Why, yes we-"

"Hey cook!" Zoro said loudly, cutting him off. "Shouldn't you be microwaving something?"

"Go fuck yourself," he spat, then smiled down at Perona. "Yes we did. Excuse the brute."

Perona looked down at her lap, smoothing out her black mini skirt, "I'll have a drink then."

Sanji nodded, getting up and about to head in the kitchen when he caught a death glare coming from Zoro. Deciding to ignore it, he went to his kitchen to get out three glasses and went to his cabinet to get out bottle of drinks, that alcoholic would probably raid it after he finished downing his glass anyways.

Calling over his shoulder, he asked. "What would you like to drink my lovely?"

"Anything's fine!" Perona called. He faintly heard Zoro groan but ignored the ass.

When he came back he saw Perona leaning on Zoro's shoulder, looking sad and upset over the cat he assumed. Looking up at Zoro's face he looked as passive as ever but welcomed the booze, being the first to reach for a glass. They all served themselves, Sanji and Perona choosing to take small sips as they saw Zoro chug gulp after gulp of whatever alcohol was within his reach.

Sanji tried making polite conversation with Perona, but she mostly paid him no mind, throwing him annoyed glances if he even attempted to flirt with her and occasionally she would shift in her seat so she was closer to Zoro, who mostly made no reaction to anything that was going on around him.

But after a while he must have noticed the strain between Perona and Sanji so he looked around, taking it upon himself to have some sort of conversation. Seeing the picture frame on the mantle and pointed at it with his index finger, bottle dangling form his hand. "That you and your old man?" It was a picture of Sanji as a child, sitting on an older man's shoulders, tugging at the man's incredibly long mustache. And it was braided too.

Sanji looked up to see where he was pointing. "Yeah." He relaxed in his seat, leaning back since talking to Perona was a fruitless effort. "That's the shitty geezer."

"You talk about your father that way?" Zoro grinned around his drink, tipping his head back to chug down the last drops of it.

He shrugged. "Just the kind of relationship we have. It's how we get along." Sanji chuckled silently. "I almost can't imagine talking nicely to him, just the way we are with each other." Zoro nodded, reaching for another drink laid out on the coffee table. "So, what about your parents?" Sanji asked.

"They're dead."

The way he said it took Sanji aback. It must have happened a while ago because there was no hint of emotion in his tone when he said it. "I'm, sorry." Sanji looked down. "I'm real sorry."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago."

"That must have been hard."

"Not really." Zoro took another gulp of his beer. "I killed them." He said nonchalantly as he wiped his upper lip.

"What?" Sanji asked, looking at him, a crooked smile on his lips. It must have been a bad joke.

Zoro lifted his head slowly, titling it a little to look at Sanji form under his brow. "You deaf cook?" he asked, almost like he was retard for mishearing, "I killed them."

"What? You can't be serious." But the guy wasn't even smiling or anything to hint that he had been joking. Looking at Perona she didn't change her facial expression either, as if what Zoro was saying was the most normal thing in the world.

"Yeah, I wanted a bike for my eighth birthday. They got me a freaking jacket; can you believe that?" he looked at Sanji, as if asking for confirmation on their atrocious act. When he got nothing from Sanji he turned away, shrugging and taking another gulp of his drink. "So I off'd them with a kitchen knife."

He wiped the corner of his mouth before continuing. "I was in Juvie until I was eighteen, then I got transferred to prison. I got out last year for good behavior, and been living with Mihawk, my parole officer ever since. Perona already lived there, she got out of prison like two months before I moved in. She was a member of a gang or something."

Sanji looked at Perona but she only stared blankly at him.

"His friend," Zoro continued, "Shanks used to be a parole officer as well until he lost his arm in the line of duty. After his accident he opened up the flower shop I work at. He co-owns it with Mihawk, Shanks can't handle the business type stuff on his own," he leaned further back in the couch, resting his feet on Sanji's coffee table and put an arm around Perona's shoulder lazily. "So Mihawk hooked me and Perona up and got us jobs there," he continued, drinking his glass of rum like he was talking about the score from last night's game.

Once again he turned to Perona to see for any signs that the dumbass was joking. Perona gave away nothing. Sanji had invited a killer over, a guy who was fresh from prison. Who knows what he would do. He had a scar on his face; he should have known it was from something violent. He had mentioned it was from a fight with his landlord. He was about to kindly ask him to leave when Zoro burst into laughter.

"I can't believe you fell for that!"

Sanji would have kicked his face in if not for Perona being in the way. "Who makes jokes like that? You sick bastard!"

Zoro eventually stopped laughing, making small chuckles. "Haven't laughed that hard in a while."

"You're sick."

Zoro threw him a grin. "And you said I was a bad lair."

Even Perona was smiling a little, her pretty pink lips forming a crescent. He couldn't really stay mad at Zoro because he had gotten Perona to smile for the time that night. Sanji huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, muttering under his breath. "Asshole. Who jokes around like that?"

"Sick people like me apparently. Get over it pansy." A shark like grin still plastered on the asshole's face, he nudged Perona. "Told you I would get you to smile."

Perona nodded, giggling a little, and that was all it took to get Sanji to stop being pissed over that terrible prank. It was the kind of morbid humor he expected from Robin, not the asshole marimo. A silence fell over them as they continued to drink. Looking over at the couple, he saw them occasionally exchange glances and smirk, or frown at each other. Sanji grinned. "How long have you known each other?"

"Too long," Zoro mumbled.

"Hey!" Perona yelled and slapped his arm.

"I mean the crazy shit this broad does," Zoro said, jerking his thumb in her direction. "It's unbelievable."

Sanji chuckled. "Like?"

"Ok, so a few days ago, we were both in my truck and I was driving-"

Slapping his arm, Perona warned, "Zoro don't tell him!"

Of course he ignored her, a stupid grin on his face. "This crazy broad-"

She slapped her harder. "Shut up!"

"I was driving when all of a sudden she screams. I stop the car, slamming on the breaks thinking a kid ran out into the street, _something_." He fixed Perona a looked before looking at Sanji. "She screamed because she saw a puppy on the lawn."

"It was so cute!" Perona defended, she huffed and leaned back against the cushions of the couch, crossing her arms over her chest. "I didn't scream that loud."

"Who screams over something cute?" Zoro asked, looking baffled. Perona didn't answer so Zoro looked at Sanji, "See what I have to deal with?"

Sanji didn't say anything. They seemed like couple that had known each other too long, that was for sure. Perona looked at Zoro, then back at Sanji. "Since you're going to embarrass me I should probably tell him about that time Mihawk and I had to leave you at the mall."

"What?" Sanji asked, curled eyebrow arching high on his forehead.

Zoro groaned. "Shit."

Perona grinned wickedly, no, with a hint of mischief and looked at Sanji, awkwardness and annoyance forgotten for a moment as she told him the story. "The three of us went Christmas shopping at the mall last year and we all split up to look for presents. So we were supposed to meet in the food court to have dinner together, but Zoro never showed. Mihawk and I ate together and we waited there, but he never showed, and it was getting close to closing time and he still didn't show. Eventually we had to leave the mall without him."

Rolling his eyes, Sanji looked at Zoro with a blank expression. "You got lost at the mall?"

Perona giggled. "We thought that too, as it turns out," Zoro shot her an annoyed look but let her finish the story. "He finished shopping early and went to the furniture section in the departure store to take a nap. Needless to say he fell asleep and didn't wake up until closing time."

Sanji slowly turned his face to look at Zoro who was frowning so much he thought his lips might sag off his face. "One the workers had to wake me up," he muttered, getting another drink. "Had to walk home."

Sanji started laughing. "Who fucking falls asleep in the department store!"

"Can it eyebrows, I'm sure there's plenty of stories about you."

"Too bad no one's here to tell them loser."

Zoro's eyes quickly darted to Perona, seeing her grab the bottle of 151, pouring herself a nice amount. He instantly leaned over, touching her shoulder. "Perona, I don't think you should drink that," Zoro told her. "It's kinda strong."

Her lower lip stuck out when she frowned at him. "Don't tell me what to do."

He groaned. "I'm telling you stupid, that shit's strong. You wont be able to handle it."

Sanji might have stepped in but Perona yelled. "Shut up Zoro!" she threw her head back and chugged the 151.

The blonds' eyes went wide at the sight, and saw Zoro as he groaned. "Fuck."

Twenty minutes later Zoro was holding her over a toilet, arm around her shoulder, one hand on her forehead, keeping her head steady and her long hair out of the way as she hurled into the porcelain seat. He hated when she didn't fucking listen to him. Hearing a click of a shoe he looked up, seeing Sanji leaning against the doorframe, a towel in hand. Zoro nodded his thanks and used to wipe Perona's face. He made her stand and washed her face in the sink, splashing cold water on her face.

She buried her face in his neck when he was done and mumbled something about him being cute, but only on the inside. Afterwards she passed out. Shaking his head, he gathered her in his arms and Sanji jerked his head for him to follow. He placed her on the couch, laying her there. They both looked down at her as she made sleeping sounds, her breathing labored from that nasty heaving she just did.

Shifting from foot to foot, Sanji looked down at Zoro's feet. "Sorry about your boots."

Zoro continued to look down at Perona. "It's ok." He frowned. "She has puked on me before."

Sanji made a face. "That sucks." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Going out for a smoke. Care to join?"

"Don't smoke."

"You know what I mean."

It wasn't as cold as Sanji had thought; either that or the booze had really warmed him up. Zoro seemed fine as well, sitting out on his balcony in just a t-shirt, not bothering to put on his damn jacket. He had a couch out on the balcony, a small table on the side, it's only purpose was to hold a single ashtray.

Sucking in a breath, he exhaled the smoke into the dark sky, watching the city lights below. "You guys can stay the night if you want."

"Nah, I'll drive her home. She doesn't like waking up in strange places."

Sanji chuckled. "Who does?"

That got him a grin, but afterwards they fell into silence again. It seemed he wasn't too apt on talking tonight, and really, who could blame him? The man had been puked on and he had to take care of Perona for half an hour as she hurled all over the place.

Getting bored with the silence, Sanji dug into his pocket and took out his cell phone, scrolling through some things. Zoro finished his bottle of Sky, looking at Sanji. "Hey cook, who is lady in the picture next to the one of you and your old man?"

"Huh?" He tried to remember the picture he was talking about. "Oh, my mom. She died when I was small."

The other man nodded, resuming his drinking. "Least you got your old man."

"You don't?" he asked. All he got was a shaking of the head from the other man. "Oh," Sanji flicked some of the ashes from the tip of his cigarette onto the ashtray; he nervously looked up at Zoro from under his brow. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure," Zoro shifted in his seat to look directly at Sanji, which surprised him. "Yeah, then maybe we can cry about. Take out some ice cream and do each other's nails while we watch a chick flick."

"Fuck you, I was being nice."

"Being a little girl is more like it."

"Shut the fuck up. I just wanted to be nice and see if you wanted to talk."

"When did you hit menopause?"

"Fuck you," he spat, looking ahead and taking an angry drag from his cigarette, exhaling from hissing lips. He caught Zoro looking at him with a grin so he rolled his eyes. Let him be an asshole for all he cared. Finishing his cigarette, he dug out his pack form his pocket, packing it against the table, hitting it over and over.

Zoro was looking at him again, even when he took out a cigarette and held it in his lips. He took one out, extending it to Zoro. "Want one?"

"Don't smoke."

"Health nut?"

"No, just hate the aftertaste, I feel like an ashtray."

"Please, I bet you've never smoked."

"Shut up."

"I bet you haven't."

Zoro took his cigarette from him, placing it between his lips and extending his hand to Sanji. He grinned, hanging him his lighter and watched as he lit it and took a drag. He exhaled moments later, throwing Sanji a look. "Disgusting."

Sanji snickered. "Got you to smoke, so I win."

"Retard."

Sanji looked over his shoulder, seeing Perona on the couch. "You guys been going out long?"

Zoro took a drink of his beer and set it on his lap. He looked down at the cigarette between his fingers, frowning at it. Sanji saw Zoro look like he was thinking things over, probably trying to figure out how long they had been dating. He didn't seem he type to remember anniversaries.

"I hate lying so I'll set it straight, she's not my girlfriend."

"She's not?" Sanji asked, almost choking on the smoke.

"Don't tell her I told you," he glared at Sanji. "I just did it so you wouldn't hit on her." He snorted, going back to looking at the streets below. "Didn't work anyways."

Sanji grinned. "I will never cease to flirt, it's in my nature."

"You just think with your dick."

"At least I think," he said, flicking his index finger at the marimo's head. He just swatted his hand away. Sanji chuckled lowly, and looked down at the randomly scattered cars on the road.

Zoro looked over his shoulder. "I should take her home. She'll have a fit if she doesn't wake up in her bed."

"After you finish that cigarette, I'm not wasting it on you."

The other man rolled his eyes but finished it quickly anyways, smashing the brown stub in the ashtray when he finished. They went inside and retrieved the girl; Zoro picked her up, gathering her limp body in his arms and Sanji opened the door for him.

He walked him to where his truck was parked, opening the passenger side door, watching as Zoro placed her down gently, pulling the seat belt around her. He fixed her head on her shoulder and she whined a little but made no other move. Zoro closed the door and looked at Sanji.

"You know how to get home marimo?"

The marimo threw him a look. "You know how to uncurl your eyebrows?"

"Funny. My guts hurt."

"Get back inside eyebrow, wouldn't want you to freeze to death."

"Didn't know you cared."

"Night cook," he called over his shoulder as he made his way around his truck, going to the driver's side.

Sanji did a lazy wave. "Night marimo." He watched Zoro drive away in his truck, along with his not girlfriend.

[-]

It was a nice dream.

He had dreamt of his childhood, back when Kuina was still around and when they used to go fishing.

It was a nice dream.

Of course, he had to wake up. There was as delicate hand on his shoulder, shaking him and he could only guess it was Perona. Mihawk never bothered to wake him up. He blinked his eyes a few times before they opened. He saw blurs of pink and when his eyes focused he saw Perona standing above him, her pale hands on his shoulders. There were tears in her eyes. Great, water works the first thing in the morning. Was she crying about her nasty hangover? "What now?"

"Chopper called," she sniffed.

It took him a moment to realize she was talking about the vet, and not some serial killer or the Australian criminal. "Oh. And?"

"Dracula didn't make it."

Zoro sat up. "No shit?" He rubbed knuckles over his closed eye, wearily looking at her with the other. He always thought that stupid cat would survive through the apocalypse. Hearing that it died came as the surprise of the century. Even bigger surprise than finding out the cook fancied dicks and boobs the same.

Perona let loose with the tears then, sobbing openly. "It's awful."

He grumbled internally. There was no need to overreact. Everyone had to go at some point. And it was just a cat. Perona was crying like she lost a really important person, not a cat she always complained wasn't cute enough. She sat on his bed and continued crying. "I didn't think he would die."

He rubbed circles on her back. "Me neither."

She flailed her body towards him, and though he tried to escape she still managed to hug his neck and cry into his shoulder. "The poor thing. He was just a cat!"

He had no idea what that meant, but continued to rub her back awkwardly, internally wishing over and over again that she let him go and cry alone in her room like a normal girl. The only thing that unsettled more was the thought of having to break the news to Mihawk.

[-]

They held a funeral for Dracula that evening, Mihawk choosing to bury him in the backyard along with all of Perona's dead birds.

The five of them were all wearing black, forming a circle around the hole Zoro had to dig up. Mihawk had made him do it. They all looked down at the large shoebox Dracula was in. Perona had offered the box she kept she gigantic Goth boots in to bury him in.

Zoro frowned at it. They didn't cut his head off and put garlic in his mouth. They also left out stabbing its heart with a stake, preventing him from rising. He still couldn't believe that thing was actually dead. It was like finding out your parents actually adopted you; it was so hard to take in.

A part of him expected Dracula to rise again and try to crawl at them.

Shanks broke the silence with his sniveling, saying between choked cries. "We should say some parting words."

Luffy was the first to step forward, standing inches away from the tiny hole in the ground. "I didn't know you well, I just heard that you were evil from Zoro and not cute enough from Perona." He bit his lip. "Hope you're happy in the afterlife." He tossed the flower that he had been holding down into the hole, the rose landing on top of the box.

When he stepped back, they all looked around and Perona nodded, stepped up like Luffy did, except she was crying her eyes out. She took in a sharp breath and said, "I'll miss you."

Zoro rolled his eyes. What a drama queen. Perona flapped her gums about the cat until she stepped back, crying some more, thankfully, not on his shoulder.

Shanks gave him a look, willing Zoro to say something. Zoro shook his head; he wasn't going to say anything. Again, Shanks gave him a stern look but he shook his head again. It wasn't until Luffy shot him a glare and Perona pinched him that he stepped forward, grumbling.

His left dress shoe stuck out over the hole, and he frowned down at the shoebox. He was silent for a moment, trying to think of what he was supposed to say to a cat he never even liked. Finally, a few words came to him. "I'm surprised you're dead." He frowned. "You were harder to kill than your owner." He took a step backward, noticing how Perona face palmed.

Clearing his throat, Shanks stepped up, clutching the rose to his chest. "I'll miss you as well Dracula." Zoro didn't know why Shanks ever would. It was Dracula's fault that Shanks had three lined scars running down his face, courtesy of Dracula's claws. "You were a great pet for Mihawk and were a strong cat."

He had to be strong. It took half the cars in the state to finally take him down.

When Shanks finished his speech, it was Mihawk's turn. He stepped up, looking more grave than usual. He stood there, looking down at the grave, and everyone stood there so long everyone thought he wasn't going to say anything. Eventually, his voice cut through the air, almost silent enough for them not to hear. His words were simple, but his eyes flickered some sadness for a few moments before the man controlled himself and looked stern again.

"Goodbye."

[-]


	5. Thinking of You

Chapter Five: Thinking Of You

[-]

It had been a month since the stupid cat died. A whole freaking month, and since that time Mihawk had been more glum and brooding that usual. He talked less and even the fruity flower printed silk shirts that he wore to make up for his lack of personality were gone. They had only seen him wear black shirts, and it was getting on Zoro's nerves. He didn't expect the man to take the death of a furry thing so hard, especially something so fucking evil.

Mihawk hadn't been making them breakfast anymore either, making Perona whine because she didn't have her chocolate chip pancakes anymore. Zoro didn't mind that too much, he just hated seeing the man so depressed. So, it was up to him to make pancakes for the three of them. Perona claimed she helped, but really, all she did was cut up some strawberries and made smiley faces on the pancakes, piling them with whipped cream.

He set the plate in front of Mihawk who thanked them both and they began to eat. Zoro watched the man eat his food, cutting his pancake into perfect little squares and triangles. He hated seeing the empty look in his eyes and the way he sulked all day. He grumbled; he couldn't take it anymore. "No flower shirts today?" he asked.

Mihawk stopped cutting, his hands freezing over the happy smiling pancake. He lifted his head to throw him a glare. Zoro expected that comment to get a remark, but the man only set his fork and knife down before looking out the window with a face that was more depressed than he had ever seen it. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting, now he looked even sadder.

Perona leaned in closer to Zoro, mostly to jab him in the ribs while whispering to him. "You hurt his feelings."

"He has feelings?" Zoro turned to look at her slack jawed. He had said that louder than he meant to, mostly due to surprise. Perona kicked him hard under the table; it was his luck that she was wearing heels that day. He grunted, throwing her a look before clearing his throat. "Sorry," he grumbled, looking at Mihawk with his most apologetic look he could muster.

"Don't be Roronoa." He sighed. "It was just a cat."

Zoro nodded, all of a sudden feeling guilty. "Yeah," he said.

Mihawk's jaw clutched, like he was trying to hold back something. He got up suddenly. "I have to go."

Zoro sighed, dropping his head to his folded arms when Mihawk left the room. Perona sighed, then nudged Zoro's shoulder. "Do you think we should get him a new cat?" she asked him.

"Unless it dismembers children and showers in blood, I doubt it'll do."

[-]

He knocked once, twice, three times, displaying his endless patience by waiting in the hallway. When the door wasn't opened the forth time he lost all patience and began to bang on the door. Enough was enough really. "Shitty eggplant!" he yelled. "Open the door already!"

"It's open shitty old man!" Came the voice from inside.

Zeff huffed, getting pissed that he didn't try walking inside in the first place. He went inside, taking off his coat at the entrance and hanging it on the rack near the door. He found Sanji sitting on the living room floor, receipts and papers around him and he looked at his laptop that was set on his coffee table. His glasses were perched on his nose and the light from the laptop made him look paler in the blue and white glow.

He took a seat on the couch near him. "Paying bills?" he asked.

Sanji nodded. "I need to pay the electricity bill and for some other shit, it'll take a few minutes."

Zeff looked at the coffee table, seeing a small pile of receipts scattered near the brat's laptop. They were all organized, a pile of receipts for gas, some for food, and then he couldn't help but notice the small pile from a place he didn't recognize. He squinted his beady eyes, reaching over to get them. Zeff looked through them all, checking the price before moving onto the one under it.

"The fuck," Zeff said, flipping through receipt after receipt. "Are you planning on competing in the Tournament of Roses or what?" He dangled the receipts in the air. "What's with all the fucking flowers?"

Sanji turned red in the face before snatching them. "Give those back! It's none of your business old man!"

"It isn't," he admitted, giving Sanji a look. "I'm just wondering why the fuck are you buying so many flowers?"

Sanji sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. He could say that he buys them for the ladies, but Zeff would probably make fun of him, but if he said he went there to see Zoro, well, truth was there was no way out of it. Either way Zeff was going to laugh at him and tell his buddies. "Zoro works there," he admitted.

"You're kidding," Zeff said, giving him a look like he thought he was a moron. "You idiot, don't tell me you've buying all these flowers just to see him."

"Kinda." He smiled weakly.

"I thought you two hung out," Zeff muttered, twirling his moustache like he was auditioning for the role of a Bond villain. He settled his back into the cushions of the couch, continuing to twirl his braided moustache. "And doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

Sanji broke into a grin. "Nope!" He took off his glasses and beamed at the old man. "I found out the other day they're not really dating, he just didn't want me hitting on her!"

Zeff nodded slowly. "Well that's wonderful news son, despite that he feared your perverted ways from the start," he scoffed, ignoring Sanji's glaring, the shitty brat. "But stop buying flowers. You're flat broke because of it."

"No I'm not!"

Zeff threw him that knowing look; it pissed off Sanji to no end. "Just quit with the flowers you insane eggplant."

"I'm just willing to go the extra mile when it comes to romancing."

"You make me sick string bean."

Sanji grinned, raising and lowering his shoulders. "I don't care."

"So, have you found out anything about him?" Zeff asked. He only asked because he was considered for the boy. He was the type to fall for someone without really knowing anything about the person. He had truly raised a fifteen year-old girl and it got on his nerves. So far the damn eggplant knew close to nothing about Zoro and judging by the look on his face he hadn't gotten anymore information on him.

Sanji stopped smiling, feeling embarrassed because he was sure there was going to be hell to pay from the old man. "No."

"Idiot."

[-]

After having breakfast with the old man they had gone their separate ways, each saying they had errands to run. Truth be told, he had nothing planned for the day, all he had planned was seeing Zoro in the evening because they had made movie night a sort of weird drinking tradition. Lately, his days off revolved around on bugging Zoro. So, the first thing he was going to do was visit him at work.

The thing was, he had no idea who he would order the flowers for. No idea. It wasn't anyone's birthday, no anniversary of meeting them, nothing. Either way, he still parked his car and heading off the stupid flower place to visit the retard who worked in there, hoping for the best.

He was in the middle of cleaning the floor. Zoro looked as dull and neutral as usual. Every time he saw him, Sanji couldn't help but think of how out of place he was. He looked like he would make a good cop or a bartender, maybe a lumberjack, certainly not a delivery boy for a flower shop. It didn't help that he wore combat boots, died his hair green, was completely opposed to looking happy and was currently wearing a shirt that exclaimed, 'you can read!'

"Hey algae brains," he said.

Zoro stopped sweeping the floor, looking at him and resting his hand on the broom, settling his chin on his knuckles. "Well if it isn't Anthony Worral Thompson." He gave Sanji a once over, frowning at him when they resumed eye contact. "Why the fuck are you here?"

"Ladies need love and appre-"

Zoro held up a hand. "Please. I'll stop you right there before I gag," he said, looking disgusted. "I meant why are you here,_ here_? The website is back up jackass."

"Internet comes and goes, takes forever to place an order. It's faster to just come here." He lied, thankful he was able to come up with something quickly. "Unless your caveman skills just make it slower," he added. He did come here to bug Zoro after all.

"Seriously, why the fuck are you here?" Zoro asked again, making a face. "I hang out with you for the purpose of you not bothering me at work."

"There's no fun in that," Sanji grinned.

"Fuck you," Zoro said. "Who is the poor unfortunate girl this time anyways? Nami?"

Brilliant. He didn't even have to think of someone. The green brute came in handy once in a while. "Sure. Nami," he said. "Precious, sweet Nami. The sugar in my coffee, the -"

"Finish that and I'll beat your face in with this broom," Zoro threatened.

"Go ahead. Lose your job. Will make it easier to stomach coming in here again."

"Asshole," Zoro muttered, already going to the back to put away his broom lest his homicidal tendencies take over. Wouldn't look good on his record if he beat a customer to death. "What flowers do you want to give her?" he asked over his shoulder.

"Orange roses," Sanji replied automatically. The good thing was he knew exactly what kind of flowers to get each girl he knew.

Zoro came back, heading towards the counter. "Can't leave the girl alone, can you?"

"Whatever moron, it's a good investment."

"Investment my foot. Just send her money, she'll like it more."

Sanji considered it for a few moments, furrowing his eyebrows much like Luffy did when asked a hard question. "That's not romantic!" he said after a while.

Zoro smirked. "Whatever. What do you want to write her this time? And for fuck's sake make it short or I'll stab you to death with this pen."

"Is your boss in?" Sanji asked, making a show of looking over Zoro's shoulder towards the office in the back. "I have to complain about your death threats towards me."

"He's somewhere else," he said dismissingly. "Now spill, what the hell do I write?"

Zoro came really close to stabbing Sanji a couple of times. He probably went on longer because it annoyed him so much. It made him hate the bastard and see red. He had to write about two whole pages of love crap. Half of it didn't make any sense, at least not to him and he was certain to laugh about it later with Perona. Maybe he should show it to Mihawk as well, it might make him laugh. He doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

When he was done writing Zoro rolled his eyes. "The shit you write."

"You're jealous of my poetry," Sanji declared, looking proud of himself for being able to come up with bullshit so quickly. And really, those romantic guys were the greatest bullshitters of them all. If you can convince a girl to sleep with you after two lines from a poem she never heard of, you knew you have great bullshitting skills.

"Whatever Shakespeare," he sighed.

"What?" Sanji asked.

Zoro frowned more. "Well, as much as I hate you for making me write this shit, I'm glad you write something. Half the crap that comes in doesn't make sense and I have to guess what they're trying to say."

"Really?" Sanji laughed. "I would think one would put effort to write something marvelous for a lady."

"Yeah, sure," Zoro said.

Sanji grinned. "Suck to be you, having to correct such crap."

"Personally, I blame the rap music."

"Whatever old man."

"You know it's true."

"Sure," he said. He blamed half the world's problems on rap music. That was one thing he learned from hanging around him. "So old man," he said, deciding to change the subject, "what shall we watch tonight?"

Zoro looked at him. "A movie."

Sanji glared. "What movie?" He hated him sometimes. He knew exactly what he meant but he never answered him.

"A good movie."

And that was exactly what annoyed Sanji. It was the same if they went out to eat. He would ask what he wanted to eat and he would answer, food. If he asked what food, he would answer was good food. He didn't know if he answered like that because he flat out didn't care what he ate or watched or because he did it to annoy him.

"Name a good movie then asshole."

Zoro shrugged. "Anything with violence I guess."

Honestly, he hadn't been surprised by that answer at all.

[-]

"Hey Zoro!" Nami smiled, waving when she saw him coming towards her.

He almost tripped when he saw how happy she was. Immediately he began to think over if he had done something bad to her. She only smiled at him that way when she tried to charge him for something and increase his interest. It wasn't a good sign when he was getting just as paranoid as Usopp. "Nami, why are you smiling that way?" he asked.

"Can't I be happy to see you?" she asked innocently, widening her smile.

"No," he said. He set her flowers down on her desk, giving her a suspicious look as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk.

She frowned. She tapped her pen on her desk, looking away. "Well, I guess you don't want to go drinking with me tonight," she said.

He couldn't help it; he broke into a grin. "Drinking you say?"

Her anger momentarily forgotten she turned back to smile at him. "Yeah, I'm going to a bar tonight, I was going to ask you to come with me."

"What's the occasion?" he asked.

"This guy came in asking for a loan to open up a bar and I gave it to him. Things went well and tonight is the grand opening, as a thank you he said I can invite friend and all the drinks are free." She tossed her hair over one shoulder, "he gives me whatever I want," she said in a dreamy voice.

"Like Sanji?"

"Yeah, like Sanji."

"Are you serious though?" Zoro asked. "All the drinks are for free?"

"Please," she scoffed. "With my innocent face he thinks I can't drink, and he's probably under the impression that none of my friends can either. Oh well." She shrugged, smiling playfully. She leaned over to look at the card attached to the flowers. She flipped it open, skimmed through it before tossing it aside. She gave Zoro a look. "Well, you coming or not?"

Zoro would have gone, but he remembered Sanji wanted to go watch a movie. It had started to become a tradition of sorts, watch a movie and drink until they were silly. "I would, but I'm meeting up with the eye-browed wonder tonight. Sorry."

"You're hanging out with Sanji?" she asked, arching a thin eyebrow.

He nodded. "Yeah, I've been hanging him since Robin's thing." He shrugged. "We mostly drink."

"Well, bring him along, I don't care. I invited Luffy and the others, so it saves me the trouble of calling Sanji-kun."

"Sounds good." He said, raising his foot to rest his ankle on his knee. "So where's the place?"

"It's downtown. And don't worry about it, now that's Sanji coming I'll text him the directions," she threw him a look.

"I could get there," he scoffed.

"Yeah," she snorted. "Three hours late."

"Shut up."

"Don't be mean Zoro, or I'll rise your dept."

[-]

The place was exactly the kind of bar Zoro hated. It had loud music playing at such a high volume you had to yell at the person next to you to know what the hell they were saying. There were shitloads of people everywhere, stepping on your shoes, old perverts hitting on the young drunk chicks, and an overpopulation of assholes who drowned themselves in cologne. The music they played made no sense, the lyrics had no meaning and everyone was dancing to the sounds of breaking glass and fire sirens. What the shit was that?

He shrugged off one drunken chick that was clinging to his arm while he had been waiting for the drinks and went back to where they were all sitting, which had to be all the way in the back. He was thankful when he got there, he didn't spill any booze and avoided being knocked over by some drunken chick who was 'dancing.' He set the glass for him and Nami down, who seemed to be having a good time.

She nodded her thanks to him and they both started to get down to drinking business. Zoro looked at the others. Usopp looked nervous, looking around cautiously at anyone who stumbled near their table, still working on his first beer, taking small sips. Luffy kept ordering large order of chicken wings, not bothering to get any alcohol. Sanji looked happy enough, watching all the drunk girls dance around in the center and seemed pleased just to be sitting near Nami. It was just them, since the others weren't able to make it.

Nami downed half her drink before looking at Zoro up and down. "You're looking sharp!" she yelled at him over the music, leaning over to get closer to him.

"That was me, Nami-swan," Sanji cut in before Zoro could answer. "The brute was about to go out in jeans and a t-shirt."

"I'm still in jeans shit for brains."

"Not the same," Sanji argued.

When Zoro had called Sanji to tell him they were going to a bar instead, he had asked Zoro what he was wearing. Zoro had called him a woman and they had argued for five minutes until Sanji said he'll meet him at his place. He showed up wearing a suit as always, not that Zoro expected anything different. Once seeing Zoro he went through his closet -without permission- and made him wear a dress shirt with his jeans and dress shoes. He claimed it would be weird if one showed up dressed like a slob while the other was nice looking. Apparently he didn't want to make Zoro look that bad.

Usopp grinned. "You guys are so homo."

"Shut it long nose or your walking home."

"Don't listen to him Usopp, I'll take you home," Nami grinned.

Zoro knew she only said that because she wanted Usopp to keep teasing him. Luffy probably would have joined in if not for shoving five wings in his mouth at once. Usopp smiled, luck was on his side since Nami sided with him. "Hey Nami, him and Sanji were arguing in the car like an old couple."

"That so?" she asked, giving them a look.

"Fucking long nose shut your mouth," Zoro said.

Nami laughed, downing the last of her glass. She shoved it to side of the table so it can get picked up later. She looked at Zoro expectedly.

"Shit woman, can't you get it yourself for once?" Zoro frowned.

"I hate walking through the crowd, and I don't want to be hit on," she explained, trying to help helpless or something. She must have known that shit didn't work on him, really, he did it because of the threats. "And it takes forever for the waitress to come around. Now go get us some more."

Zoro gritted his teeth but stood, listening to her nonetheless. Luffy quickly swallowed the last of his chicken wings, yelling, after him. "Oi Zoro! Get me some more chicken wings too!"

Sighing, he weaved his way through the crowd towards the bar. While he waited the music got louder and the lights were dimmer, flashes of neon color rays went around the bar. The music got so loud he could feel his heart rattling inside his rib cage. He hated the loud noise. Only reason he tolerated places like this was because of the alcohol. Really, so far the only thing he liked about this place was that it had good bartenders.

When he returned, he noticed only Luffy and Sanji were there. He sat down next to Sanji. "Where's the other two?" he asked.

"Zoro! Where's my chicken wings?"

"They're making them idiot. You have to wait."

Luffy pouted and stuck out his tongue at him. Sanji nodded his head to the crowd in the middle of the bar. "Usopp asked Nami to dance with him. Didn't know he had it in him."

Zoro grinned. "Good for him, the poor sap kept staring at her the entire night."

"Even I haven't had the pleasure of getting to dance with Nami-swan," Sanji sighed deeply, folding his arms on the table. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead on his folded arms. "There's no hope for me," he said dramatically.

"Don't lose hope," Zoro said, reaching for his glass of rum, downing half the glass. Sanji lifted his head to look at him in surprise. "With your eyebrows, you can't lose hope," Zoro smirked.

Sanji glared, resting his head on his arms again. "Asshole," he muttered.

Zoro chuckled. When he finished his drink he went for Nami's and drank hers down as well, figuring she wouldn't be drinking it anytime soon. Plus, the ice would just water it down, and neither of them liked that. Really, he was doing her a favor.

While the other two were dancing him and Sanji complained about the loud music while Luffy sat there complaining that the food was taking way too long to come out. When it finally did he almost bit off the waitress's arm in his excitement. He began to eat like a starving man. Finally after a shitload of songs Nami and Usopp came back and joined them.

"Where's my drink?" Nami complained.

"Waitress picked up your empty glass while you were gone dancing."

She gave him a look. "Well, go get me one."

"Hell no, it's your own fault-"

"Don't worry Nami," Usopp cut in, getting up from his chair. "I'll get you a drink."

"Thank you Usopp!" Nami smiled after him.

Sanji grumbled. "Fuck, now he's taking my job. I'm supposed to get Nami's drinks!" he complained.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "What in hell are you talking about? I'm the one who's been getting them all night."

"Because Nami asked you to, I won't deny her wish, even if it is," Sanji paused, eyes going unfocused. Zoro realized he was listening to the new song that was playing. Finally, the DJ switched with some new guy, and thankfully, this guy had taste. "I love this song!" Sanji exclaimed.

Nami listened in, exclaiming that she loved the song as well. Luffy and Zoro exchanged a look, both not knowing what song was playing. Luffy shrugged, then went back to eating, ignoring Nami as she danced in her seat, occasionally bumping into him. She complained she was too tired to actually get up and dance. Sanji on the other hand, got up form his seat, turning and smiling at Zoro.

"Hey marimo, dance with me."

He must have heard wrong, that had to be it. The way Nami's jaw dropped and the way Luffy was giggling told him otherwise. Not just that, but the curly browed wonder was looking right at him. "The fuck?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Sanji extended a hand to him. "Dance with me," he said again.

"No." he said. "I refuse." He threw him a glare for extra measure. There was no way in hell he would get up and dance. He hadn't done it for anyone else and like hell he would do it for the blondie.

"Come on, don't be a kill joy."

"Does it look like I dance?" he asked.

"Maybe?" Sanji asked.

"Those fucking hamsters from the KIA commercials dance better than me," he stated calmly. "Now piss off."

"No body can dance better than those hamsters," Sanji scoffed. "Now get up."

"Do I look like a fucking prom date? I'm not dancing," he said, feeling irritated.

Sanji made a face that looked like he was hurt, but really, it just reminded Zoro of Perona's face when he refused to go to the mall with her. It was the face she gave him when she didn't get what she wanted. That thought suddenly bothered Zoro, especially since the blond creep wouldn't move.

Sanji frowned at Zoro, willing him to dance. It was beginning to get really weird and normally he would have done something to fix it, except fixing it meant getting up and being surrounded by drunk girls and perverted old guys. Or drunk guys ad perverted girls, it worked both ways really. Luffy, having finished his meal and having nothing else better to do jumped from his seat. "I'll dance with you Sanji."

Zoro let out a relieved sigh when Sanji accepted and they both left to the dance floor. Zoro watched them go towards the middle and dance oddly. Sanji did that weird noodle movement he did whenever he saw some semi decent looking chick and Luffy, was well, he was just hyper and using up his endless amounts of energy moving about.

He felt Nami staring at him and he wasn't really ready to look at her yet. No doubt she would have something to say, and really, he wasn't sure if he could answer her questions. He sighed. The whole situation had been awkward. He turned back, and sure enough, Nami was looking at him.

"Does he like you?" Nami asked.

"I was about to ask you. What was that?" he turned his head to look at the cook again before looking back at Nami. "I mean, he should have asked _you_, right?"

Nami shrugged. "Beats me, just glad he's not hitting on me for once."

"Oi, oi," Zoro said, sounding offended. "That didn't sound right."

Nami didn't pay him any mind, looking over his shoulder to look at Sanji. She placed her chin in hand as she studied him. Even Usopp was titling his head side to side as he looked at Sanji. "I know he's bi, but I never saw him hit on a guy." Nami said, turning his gaze to focus on Zoro. "Lucky me I got to see it," she grinned.

"Shut it witch, it's not funny."

"What's not funny?" Usopp asked, returning from the bar with drinks for them and a beer for himself. Great, perfect timing from the long nose. He had to come back now. He liked it better when he was at the bar.

"Sanji asked Zoro to dance with him," Nami said, filling him in. She threw Zoro a cheeky grin.

"He did what?" Usopp asked, getting so high pitched he rivaled with most women.

Nami continued to look at Zoro, smiling in a way that didn't settle well with him. "You guys have been hanging around more often, yes?"

"As friends," he clarified.

"Uh huh," she said, nodding a bit. "He definitely likes you."

"I think so too," Usopp chimed in.

The fucker. He just got back and already he was acting like he knew shit. Zoro rubbed his face, sighing. "You guys need to stop being such girlfriends, soon you'll be braiding each other's hair or something."

Usopp looked hurt but Nami ignored him. "What are you gonna do about it?" she asked, getting serious.

"The hell do you mean what am I gonna do about it?" he asked. "Not like I can do anything."

Nami rolled her eyes. "Moron. Do you like him back?"

Zoro turned his head, watching the cook dance. He looked up from laughing with Luffy about something and their eyes locked. Zoro felt uncomfortable but didn't turn away. After a while Sanji smirked and broke eye contact, continuing to dance like nothing weird had happened between them just minutes ago.

"I don't know," he said.

[-]

He just wanted a beer. That was freaking all. Sure he had drank enough at the bar, drank shit tons really, and all for free, but after that weird night he needed a beer. After a night of endless teasing from the witch and the long nose, he needed something to get over it. With all the drinking he had done he would need to wake up extra early to work off all the calories, but fuck it, he needed it.

All he wanted was a beer and to be in peace but one of Perona's friends were over. Weird looking motherfucker. He had blue hair that was a more offending color than Vivi's. Zoro could tell he had a couple of daggers in his boots, which he couldn't really judge him in that department, but he was fucking dressed like a clown. He had face paint on, and to top it off, a red nose. And the curly cue insulted his way of dress.

The clown stuck out his hand. "I'm Buggy."

Zoro looked at the offered hand then back at the guy. "I didn't ask."

Perona glared at him from the guy's side. "Zoro!"

"What?" he asked. "I didn't."

The guy chuckled nervously. "Honey, is this your friend you were telling me about?"

Zoro glared at the guy. Honey huh? "You dating?" he asked.

The guy smiled. "I asked her out today." He told Zoro like it was something to be proud of.

Zoro smirked. "All right Bill," he placed a hand on his shoulder, "let's go to the living room and chat." He titled his chin towards the living room, pushing Buggy towards there.

The clown walked backwards, since he was being pushed, and looked at Zoro while trying to speak. "Actually, my name is Buggy."

"Yeah, whatever, just move to the couch Bob."

Buggy looked at Zoro then walked to the living room, sitting himself down on one of the couches. Zoro was about to follow when Perona yanked him by the arm back into the kitchen. "What are you planning? You never chat," she said, narrowing her round eyes at him.

Zoro smiled, "I just wanna see if he's good enough for you." With that he left and walked to the living room, Perona growing more and more nervous. Zoro sat in the couch in front of Buggy smiling very unpleasantly at him. "So, what do you do for a living?"

"I work at a dry cleaner," Buggy said, placing his hand on Perona's lap.

Zoro caught that, but remained calm. "Where did you go to school? What was your grade point average."

Buggy gave him a look. "Whisky Peak High, 2.8."

Zoro frowned, "Just a 2.8 huh? Pity." He leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his beer. "Why was that? You were a troublesome child? Did you not take school seriously? Did you ditch? Or were you just flat out stupid?"

"School was never my thing really."

Zoro nodded, then leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and staring at Buggy. "So what about your past relationships? How many ex's have you had? How long were the relationships? How far did you get with them and at what time did you guys have sex?"

Buggy stared wide-eyed. "W-What-?"

"Answer the damn questions, and don't stutter. I hate it when people stutter."

Perona sat next to Buggy, face palming and trying to make herself disappear between the cushions in the couch. Buggy cleared his throat. "I've had three ex-girlfriends, uhmm, the longest relationship lasted five months."

"Five months. Shocking," he added dully. He took another sip of his beer. "What are you intentions with Perona?"

Buggy laughed nervously. "We didn't even have sex, honest, I just want to date her, really."

"Don't lie to me Bryan, I hate it when people lie."

"My name's Buggy!" Buggy finally snapped, getting angry.

"I heard you the first time Bernard," Zoro narrowed his eyes at him, then looked at Perona. "He's got quite the temper, you sure you still wanna date him? He might lash out at you one day. Not to mention he can't even answer a question properly, I think you can do better than this retard."

Buggy spun around and looked at Perona pleadingly. "I swear I would never hurt you darling!" he point a finger at Zoro, "Though I can't say the same for this asshole!"

"Who are you calling an asshole Ben?" Zoro glanced at him from the rim of his beer, "better not be me unless you want to be completely emasculated in front of Perona."

Perona sighed, rubbing her temple. "Just go Buggy, I'll call you later."

Buggy sighed, then flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "She's right Brad, it's getting late. Here, let me walk you to the door."

Buggy gulped, knowing he couldn't really get out of it, and allowed Zoro to shove him to the door. He turned around and saw Perona standing next to Zoro, she waved at him and smiled. "I'll call you later Buggy!"

"Bye Perona!" He smiled and waved back, beginning to walk away from the house and towards the driveway where his car was.

Zoro grinned after him as well, waving his goodbyes. "See you later Bruce!"

Buggy gritted his teeth and drove away, seeing Perona and Zoro standing there and smiling, waving too. As soon as he was gone Perona whirled on Zoro and punched his arm. "What the hell is wrong with you! This is why I never bring any dates over!"

"I was just watching out for you," he smirked.

Perona glared at him. "You enjoy this, don't you?"

Zoro picked at his ear, looking at his pinky afterwards. When he saw nothing he began to walk up the stairs. "I don't know what you mean, but I'm off to bed."

She followed him up. "Oh no you don't! Not until you promise me you won't do that again."

He grunted and headed towards his room, walking in and laying down on his bed. She walked in like she owned the bloody place and sat on the edge of his bed, pretending to cry. "I'll never get a boyfriend at this rate. Everyone is too scared to date me. They all think you'll kill them!"

He smirked. Good. His plan was working. "You don't want to date a coward," he said casually. "If a guy can answer all my questions and hold a decent conversation while drinking, and not shit his pants when I playfully threaten him, then I'll approve."

Perona turned around, her eyes dry like he suspected. Like she would cry over something he did. "You asshole! The last time I brought someone over you and Mihawk showed him your sword collection."

Zoro frowned. "Yeah, too bad he couldn't join in on the fun this time. I'm sure that would have cheered him up."

"Just you wait till you get a girlfriend, I'll make your life hell."

"You already do," he scoffed.

She yanked the pillow from under his head and smacked him with it. He otherwise ignored her, nestling his face into his folded arms, trying to sleep. He felt the bed shift and realized she was lying in bed next to him again. She never got the hint. Apparently, him trying his body away from her screamed 'let's talk' to her. Women.

"You're too mean. You never give my boyfriends a chance."

"They don't deserve it. You just can't see what big assholes they are."

"And you can?"

"Of course I can, I'm a guy. We can sniff out other assholes from a mile away," he said. He turned on his back. Might as well talk to her at this point, seeing as how she wasn't going away anything soon. "Trust me I'm watching out for you," he smirked, awkwardly patting her back.

"When you get a girl, I'll tell her embarrassing stories about you."

"Go ahead."

"I'll threaten her."

"Annoy her you mean."

"When are you gonna get a girlfriend anyways?"

"Never," he said. "Like hell I'll introduce her to you. I'm not a retard."

"Ok. How about getting a boyfriend?"

He gave her a look. "You're stupid."

"You've been hanging out with Sanji a lot," she said.

"You hang out with Tashigi and I don't call you two lesbians."

"We're friends," she said. "There's a huge difference. Plus, I thought you didn't like him."

There was silence in the room. This was too weird. It was like Perona knew what had happened in the bar. This whole night, morning, whatever, was beginning to disturb him. Why she brought up Sanji he didn't know but he sort of wished she would talk about something else. His silence must have meant something to her, at least in her weird ass mind because she began to squeal.

"Oh my God, you like him!" she exclaimed.

"Shut up Perona," he said.

"But you like a guy!" she said, her eyes huge. "Mihawk turned you. I knew he would."

"Who the fuck said I like him?" he asked. "And anyways, if anyone made me gay, not that I said I was, it was you. From facial cleansers to forcing me to take you to the mall all the time, I blame you."

"Please, Mihawk is so homo. Flowery and ruffely shirts, goes out with Shanks everywhere, he's super clean too."

"What does being clean have to do with anything?" he hated that presumption, mostly because his room was spotless.

Her hands covered her smiling lips. "You like someone!" she was giddy and it was really pissing him off. "You can come to me for relationship advice."

"No thanks," he shuddered. Getting relationship advice from her would be like getting fashion tips from Mihawk. "I've been in a relationship before Perona," he reminded her.

"Yeah, none of them lasted more than three months!" she exclaimed, slapping his arms. "I can't believe the longest relationship you had was with Bonney." She made a face, "she had the worst table manners."

"Shouldn't you be getting in bed? It's five in the morning, and trust me, you need beauty sleep."

"Shut it," she said. "And I can't go to sleep, you need my advice!"

"Like hell! The longest you've had was with the hairy creep with a thing for lions, and it lasted four months. I would hardly call you can expert."

"Shut up!" she cried.

Mihawk suddenly appeared at the door. "Can't you brats keep it down?"

He was holding the house phone close to his chest, holding a glass of wine in his other hand as he glared at them both. It wasn't exactly threatening since he was a fuzzy lavender bathrobe and some slippers Zoro was sure was meant for women. His hair was in curlers and had Perona's facial cream on his face. He was becoming a woman. Zoro lived with two women.

"Zoro likes Sanji!" Perona announced too happily.

Mihawk looked from Perona to Zoro, then put the phone to his lips. "I'll call you later."

He didn't even wait for the person on the other end to respond when he hung up on them. He walked over and sat on Zoro's bed as well, next to Perona and looked at Zoro. This was getting out of hand. How shitty can one's night get? He was seriously considering engaging in homicidal activities on a massive scale.

"Why the hell is everyone in my room!" Zoro snapped.

Mihawk and Perona were looking at him intently. Zoro looked from Mihawk to Perona again, not understanding why they cared so damn much. Finally, Mihawk broke into the tiniest of grins. "Good for you Roronoa."

Zoro looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm surprised you care at all old man."

"This is a big day Roronoa, I never thought you would show interest in anyone."

"I've been in a relationship before!" Why was everyone forgetting this?

"You hardly showed interest in them, and all the past girlfriends had asked_ you_ out. The way you're going, you're going to be the one asking out the blond."

Zoro grumbled under his breath. Where the fuck did they get these ideas from anyways? He was starting to get paranoid. Maybe Usopp had called her and filled her on what had happened. He wouldn't put it past the long nose, especially considering how much of a girlfriend he was to Nami.

Perona nudged him Mihawk. "You gotta take him under your wing. Show him how to ask out a man."

Mihawk and Zoro both threw her a glare. "Perona," Mihawk said, "Go to bed."

"But-" Perona began.

"Do as I say or so help me, I'll say it again," Mihawk warned.

Perona huffed then stood and walked out. Zoro was surprised that actually worked. All those times he had tried getting Perona out of his room and Mihawk just showed him how to do it. He considered hugging the man. Now, to get him out of his room. They sat in silence for some time before Mihawk spoke up.

"Zoro, I imagine if I had a son, he would be just like you," Mihawk said slowly. Zoro was speechless; he didn't know what to say. He was about to smile when Mihawk took another sip of his wine and continued. "It was that thought alone that turned me gay for Shanks, forever preventing me from ever reproducing," he said casually enough.

Anything nice Zoro might have said to him at that moment died in his mouth with a bad aftertaste. "Asshole."

"Yes, well, my decision was for the best." He patted Zoro's knee, looking like he could less about Zoro's feelings.

"Well, thanks for the bed time story," Zoro said. "Can you leave now?"

"Though I can't exactly fill the void you need for a father figure in your life, I can offer a bit of advice."

Zoro took a moment to look at him. "What?"

"If you actually like this boy, take a chance on him."

"What are you saying-"

Mihawk cut him off. "Just saying." The fucker could be painfully vague when he wanted to. He stood from his bed and headed towards the door. "Goodnight."

Zoro couldn't sleep that night, going over his conversation with Mihawk over and over again. He hated him so badly sometimes. Him and Perona. And Nami and Usopp. He hated them all. Mostly he hated Sanji too. Fuck, why couldn't he sleep?

[-]

Usually his Saturday mornings were spent out jogging or working out in the backyard, usually lifting weights or something. Instead, he was woken up early in the morning by Perona because she thought it was a fantastic idea to go and get a new pet for Mihawk.

He had tried to resist, after all, the house was already filled his animals and he did more cleaning than Perona ever did. Her whining won though and he had been wandering through the shelter trying to get a cat for the man. None of them seemed evil enough for Mihawk's taste so they had ended up giving up and going home.

"Ah man that was weak! You didn't hit the side of building!"

"Shut up," Johnny said. "It took you the longest just to get to the side of building, so you have no say."

Yosaku snorted then looked at Zoro, hitting his chest. "It's your turn man."

Zoro began to gather saliva and snot in the back of his throat. He leaned back a little then spit, that one hitting the roof.

Yosaku and Johnny cheered. "Aniki you're so cool!"

Zoro ignored them and went back to his bottle of Hefewiezen. He kept thinking about the stupid blond. He had been hanging out with the curly brow way more than he had ever intended. First all they had done was chill at his nosey apartment and drank themselves silly to old movies and bad T.V. shows and tired to pick movies worst than the last. The worst it was, the more they drank and so on. And for the life of him Zoro couldn't figure out why he liked spending time with someone who pissed the fuck out of him so much.

"Oh you little bitch, that was weak!"

"Shut the fuck up, let's see you spit that far for a change!"

They were on the rooftop of a department store. They usually went up there to have a few beers, but then Johnny and Yosaku thought it would be a nice competition to see if they could spit at the building next to them. It was a lot harder than it sounded. It took them a few minutes to be able to spit on the side of the building. And much longer to actually spit _on_ the rooftop. Once they all got to that level, it was a matter of how far they could spit on the roof.

Johnny made a loud sound before he spit out a huge lugie. "Ha! Beat that Yosaku! I got that even further than Aniki."

"Well when it's his turn he'll beat you."

Zoro couldn't help but wonder what the blond would think of this. He grinned to himself, knowing Sanji would call him disgusting. And then Zoro would say he couldn't do better and it would end in another competition.

"Finally! A fucking smile out of you!" Yosaku said.

Johnny was grinning at him as well. He was wearing sunglasses, even thought it was fucking eleven at night. Truth be told, he had never actually seen Johnny's eyes, even if he had known him for nearly four years.

Zoro grinned at them. "Sorry, just thinking about something."

"A girl?" Yosaku asked.

Zoro shook his head. "Nope."

Johnny shrugged, then looked down the side of the building. He punched Yosaku. "Hey, there's some people walking down the streets. Let's se if we can spit on them!"

Yosaku was instantly by his side and the two went on to try and beat each other. Zoro leaned back and finished his beer. It was pretty fun watching them fight with each other. He supposed that was why most people laughed whenever him and Sanji were together. It must have been entertaining. He really needed to stop hanging out with the cook like they were buddies, because he wasn't buddies with the cook.

Since Friday night, or this morning really, he hadn't talked to the cook. He wasn't sure what to do but it wasn't strange. Usually the cook was the first one to contact him to come over anyways. And just like that, he felt his phone vibrating in his pockets. It was none other than the cook himself.

"Eyebrows," he said.

"Shut your fucking mouth."

"Just saying man. What do you want anyways?"

"So my internet is back up, so I decided to check out the new website," he said. "Nice picture by the way man."

Zoro groaned when he realized he was talking about the horrible picture Luffy had taken. It was by far the worst picture of him.

"You're smiling so much it looks like you got laid," Sanji laughed.

"Hanging up in three, two-"

"Hang up if you want, I thought you wanted to have a few drinks, but since you're busy being an asshole."

Zoro grinned. "I'll be over in ten."

He hung up on the cook before he could say anything. He finished his beer and set it down. "Hey guys, I'm heading off," he said, walking towards the stairs, not bothering to explain to them why he was leaving so suddenly. "See you guys later."

"Bye Aniki!" they both said in unison, not seeming to care either way.

[-]

Sanji snorted. "Ok, I did not expect you to know them so well."

"I work at a flower shop dumbass, I'm supposed to know information about them."

"Ok, ok, since you know what all the colors mean, what about the flower meaning?"

"Try me."

"Ok, Carnation."

"What color?"

"Umm, pink."

"Pansy, you would pick pink," he snorted. "It means unforgettable."

"Speaking of Pansy, what's that mean?"

"Thoughtful or modest."

"Anemone?"

"Fragile."

"Sunflower?"

"Wishes."

"Phlox?"

"Sweet dreams."

"Mallow?"

"Deep in love."

Sanji smiled, "I like that one."

Zoro rolled his eyes.

The night was pretty clear -not that he hadn't noticed when he was on the roof with Johnny and Yosaku- but he liked this view from Sanji's balcony better than the one on top of the department store. This time they hadn't bothered to watch any movie and went straight to the couch and sat there while Sanji smoked cigarette after cigarette and Zoro drank.

"So tell me, what's your favorite flower?" Sanji asked, crushing the butt of his cigarette on his ashtray next to the couch.

"Thistle," he said absently.

Sanji snorted, trying to contain his laughter. "Really?"

"It's a nice flower," Zoro defended, but when Sanji continued to laugh he frowned, "I knew I shouldn't have told you."

"Ok, ok," Sanji waved a hand in front of him when his laughter began to die down. "What's a Thistle mean anyway?'

"Nobility."

"Shit, I thought I had you there."

Zoro snorted. "Still playing that game? Idiot."

"I'm giving up. Apparently I can't keep up with your girly-ness."

"Says the guy who wears a pink apron."

"That's not girly, lots of men wear pink."

"Name three straight guys who wear pink and I'll let it go."

"You know everything there is to know about flowers Mr. manly man."

"It's part of my job."

"Well I wear an apron as part of my job."

"You can wear a black or blue apron, no one forces you to wear the pink one."

"Shut it marimo," Sanji said, reaching over and taking a bottle of beer. He opened it and took a sip. "So, what's new with you?"

"Since seeing you this morning? Not much I'll say."

"You know what I mean asshole."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Nothing really," he looked at Sanji. He might as well say something. "I went to the pet store this morning. Perona wanted to get Mihawk a cat."

"Right," Sanji said, taking another sip. "His old cat died right? How's he handling it?"

Zoro frowned, shrugging and taking a drink. "Lately depressed. It's pissing me off."

"Don't be insensitive."

"Right, I forgot. You usually menstruate this time of month."

"Will it kill you to get in touch with your emotions once in a while?"

"You're not helping your case cook."

"Moving on," Sanji said, glaring at him. "Did you get a cat for him?"

Zoro snorted. "No. None of the cats there were evil enough. You should have seen his old cat. It was so fucking wicked. It was all black with one fucking eye, kind of like yours, and hated everything and everyone. And no joke, it was so badly mangled up it the vets kept saying he should have died long ago."

"It sounds like the cat version of you dude."

"It does not," Zoro said, sounding really offended.

Sanji laughed, wiping a tear from his one visible eye. "No, but seriously, I know what you mean. There's one cat that comes around the Baratie. Usually, we just ignore the cats because they hang around the dumpsters and eat from there, or sometimes we leave out tuna or milk or something, but this one cat scares all the other ones. Every cook that has gone out to pet it has gotten scratched."

Zoro shivered. "Fucking cats."

Sanji smirked, not for the first time, looking down at Zoro's shirt. Today's shirt read, 'Cat, the other white meat.' He really hated cats it seemed. Not that he blamed him; he didn't exactly have a good history with cats it seemed. "I'm sure you'll be able to find a cat for Mihawk," he said.

"I guess."

"Hey, what's it like, living with Mihawk?" he always wondered. The man was his boss as well. He always wondered what Zoro thought of it, or the man really.

Zoro frowned. "He's very gay."

Sanji expected more from him, but by then he should have known how hard it was to get Zoro to talk about anything. But there was something about what he said that didn't settle well with him. He had no idea what he meant by the gay comment, so he figured now was just as a good a time as any to say something.

"Hey marimo, I know I haven't told you," he paused. "But I'm bi."

"I know," he said casually. He took the last gulp of his beer before finishing the rest of it. He set it down next to the pile of empty beer bottles surrounding him like a fort and opened his next bottle.

"What?" Sanji asked. "How?" This was a surprise to him. He was sure he came off as a straight man to other guys. Unless asking him to dance last night gave him away. It might be that.

"Vivi told me," Zoro said. Again, the way he was casual about it pissed him off.

"She did?"

"She didn't mean to. She told me not to tell you," he shrugged, "she thought you would be mad."

"So why did you tell me?"

Zoro snorted. "Like you'll ever be mad at a woman."

"Well, thanks. I guess."

"For what?"

"Not freaking out."

"Like I would care," Zoro scoffed.

He looked at Zoro. "What are you?"

"What the hell do you mean what am I?"

"You know what I mean jackass," he said, narrowing his eyes.

He took a drink from his beer, downing more than half. He shrugged when he was done. "I don't know, never thought about it."

"What do you mean you don't know? Haven't you ever dated anyone?"

"Of course I have moron."

Sanji had no idea what to think of that. He decided to head a different route. "How many people have you dated?" he might as well know something about him.

Zoro shrugged. "Lost count."

Sanji glared. Getting anything out of the man was harder than getting Luffy to go on a diet. "I give up."

Zoro chuckled, but otherwise didn't say much else. They continued to drink well into the morning hours without saying much to each other besides the occasional insult or asking to pass the beer. With every passing hour they slumped further down on his couch and their shoulders were touching but neither made a move to get away from each other.

Neither of them mentioned going to bed or going home either. The only time they got up was to take a piss because beer is a bitch that way, and of course, to get more beer from the fridge. Sanji by that point was pretty buzzed. It pissed him off that Zoro never got that way. He bet he never had a hangover either, the lucky shit.

He stretched his feet, accidently knocking some beer bottles that circled them and the couch. The recycling guys sure loved him lately. Sanji looked over at Zoro, who was working on his, God knew what beer. "Hey, you never asked me how many people I've dated."

"Why would I ask?"

"Aren't you curious?"

Zoro rolled his eyed. "Fine. How many people have you dated?"

"Two girls, one guy."

"Congrats," Zoro said. "Two girls, there really is hope for everyone."

"Shut up asshole."

"I'm more surprised that you only dated one guy. You seem a lot gayer than that."

"Shove it marimo." He sighed, rubbing his face. This drinking was really starting to give him a headache. "Though, I have to say, there's a guy that I'm interested in." He stopped rubbing his eyes to look at Zoro. "I really like him you know."

Zoro hoped he wasn't implying what he thought he was implying, because he wasn't ready for this kind of bullshit. Especially not from the cook. They were friends, or something just as twisted as that. "Send him flowers," he said.

"I'm serious."

Zoro was silent. He almost wanted to ask but he was almost certain he knew the answer. "So what are you gonna do then? Tell him?" he decided to ask instead.

"I don't know how he'll handle the news."

Zoro shrugged. "Worth a shot."

Sanji shifted so he was facing him directly. They looked at each other for a bit before he leaned in closer to him.

"Christ! What are you doing so close to my face?"

Sanji sucked in a breath, and with all the beer in his body that gave him liquid courage, leaned over and kissed Zoro on the lips. When Zoro didn't kiss back he pulled back, looking embarrassed. Zoro was staring at him, but he couldn't read what it meant. He didn't look pissed, or excited. He hated his blank stares; man was harder to read than a goldfish. He should be a good poker player. He sighed.

Zoro broke the silence first. "Just go to sleep cook."

He was thankful he didn't fly into a blind rage or up and run out of his apartment. It was almost worst because he would have preferred to get his ass kicked and or something similar to it. Zoro just shifted on his side of the couch and closed his eyes, mumbling that he was sleepy and he should get some sleep.

Sanji thought he should do the same.

[-]


	6. Flowers

[-]

Sorry for the wait, but making you all suffer is my pride and joy.

Oh, and thanks to aqiel for messaging me, telling me to update. This is for you, because you called me handsome. I bet you regret calling me humble now!

[-]

They both woke up way earlier than they wanted to. That always happened when Sanji drank too much, he woke up with a start and images of the stupid shit he did all came in terrible floods of regret and self pity. Of course, he didn't wake up because of that. Sanji stirred when he heard the sound of an alarm going off. He heard Zoro grumble, turning it off.

He looked at Zoro through beady eyes, most of his hair was covering his face. "What the fuck?" he muttered.

"Sorry, I set my alarm so I can go running in the mornings."

Sanji grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. The fucking sun wasn't even up yet, and holy shit did his back hurt from sleeping on the couch. He remembered what he had done last night and looked over at Zoro. He wasn't acting weird, which he didn't know if it was a good sign or not.

He kept looking over at Zoro, unsure of what the hell to say to him. This was the reason Sanji hated drinking, but he supposed that was probably the lamest excuse he could use. Besides, it would just come out wrong. Saying, 'sorry, I drank myself into bisexuality again' didn't sound quite right and would probably freak Zoro out.

Yeah, he was defiantly sticking to awkward silence, he rather have that than to explain himself. He was so screwed, and not in a good way. He tried to look at Zoro's face, trying to get a read on the man but Zoro was unflappable.

It didn't help that he was suffering from a hangover, even worst when they had playing the drinking game to The Room. It had been Zoro's idea to drink whenever there was a scenery scene of San Francisco, every time Johnny said oh hai, every time a football was thrown, and whenever you felt awkward. He was pretty much drunk the first five minutes because of all the shots of San Francisco and because the sex scene between Johnny and Lisa had to be the most awkward thing Sanji had ever fucking seen.

So yeah, he had a worst hang over than that time. They both looked down at the streets, and even though it was dark there were three little kids, no older than thirteen walking around. Usually Zoro would make a comment about motherless children walking around but he only grunted at the sight. He rubbed his eyes and looked out his balcony.

"Sleep well?" he asked for lack of knowing just what to say.

Zoro nodded. "Yup."

"You gonna go and exercise or you wanna stay and have breakfast?"

"Depends," Zoro said, titling his head to eye Sanji. "What are you cooking if I stay?"

Sanji shrugged, not knowing exactly what to feel since Zoro was actually willing to hang around him a little longer. "What do you like?"

"Good food."

"Right," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I can make French toast-"

"Figures Frenchy."

"Shut the fuck up, I don't make cracks about your Asian-ness."

"Like I would care."

"Whatever. I can make French toast and some eggs. I have a mild hangover so don't ask for more than that."

"Sure, I'll settle for your French toast."

"You're not _settling_ for anything asswipe. You're gonna get the best goddamn French toast of your life."

"Bread mixed with eggs and milk, you're right, it sounds like the best fucking thing ever."

"You know how to make French toast?" Sanji asked, rubbing at his temple. Zoro was helping in decreasing the pain in his head.

Zoro snorted. "Like it's hard."

"Whatever, my French toast is more than that, it's fucking delicious."

"Right, right, just go make it already," he yawned, scratching his stomach. "I'm hungry."

Sanji stood on wobbly legs like when a baby deer took its first walk, and stood still for a moment to let the terrible headache slide. He rubbed his temple again and walked inside, heading towards his kitchen. He had taken out all the things needed for making breakfast when Zoro came in, settling himself on of the kitchen stools, just staring at him.

Sanji prepared breakfast and went about his business like nothing happened between them. He was thankful Zoro hadn't done anything, well, said anything so far but it also made him uncomfortable because he didn't know how he felt about the whole damn thing. Hopefully he had a mild case of short-term memory loss and had completely forgotten the whole thing.

He knew it was just wishful thinking because Zoro could out drink the average drunkard lying on the street corner, but he had to do something to keep his hopes up. Deciding that avoiding the problem until it eventually went away was the best solution, he settled on changing the subject.

"You run at this hour?" he asked.

Zoro nodded while yawning. "Less people around," he said after he finished yawning.

"Anti-social marimo."

"Whatever. Less talking, more cooking."

"Bossy asshole."

"Prissy bitch."

He swayed again and Zoro gave him a concerned look. "You need to throw up?"

Sanji glared. "No."

"If you do I can always hold your hair for you," Zoro said with a smirk. "Wouldn't want you getting puke on your precious goldie locks."

Sanji hit him across the face with his spatula in response.

[-]

He didn't have to help Sanji throw up, though he was pretty sure he was still sporting a massive hangover when he left and probably threw up all by himself as soon as he left his apartment. Which was fine by Zoro, he didn't really want to help that badly. He had had his fair share of helping others throw up and wasn't in a rush to go through it again.

After breakfast he went home to work out until he was so sweaty he was slippery and Perona complained about him looking like he had been working out for weeks. Even he had limits to lack of hygiene and stopped his exercises. He took a shower and went on with his day. He didn't talk to Sanji, not that that was weird because they barely talked outside of hanging out and visits to each other's work anyways because neither were the texting type. At least he wasn't and the asshole cook was nice enough to leave him be. From time to time.

Mihawk asked him where the hell he was last night, not that the old man cared; he just thought it was stupid of him to pay monthly rent if he barely spelt at his place. At least that's what he kept saying. Zoro ignored his complaints, simply stating that he had been 'out.'

Perona made it worst by asking if he got laid.

[-]

Sanji was working on Monday, the dullest day to work. He set his mind to cooking and trying not to think of the stupid shit he had done. Of all the times he had to fuck up, he had to do it with the cabbage head. Worst, while drinking. Not only did he look a fool, he looked like a drunken fool, which was easily ten times worst.

He hated himself more than he had ever hated before. He was bi, sure. But Zoro? The only thing he ever saw him care about was his booze, that and the white sword he kept in his room, hanging like a prized possession. What was worst was that he still unsure about Zoro's sexual preferences. For all he knew Zoro could be the type to get off by watching snuff films.

Sanji shuddered. He wasn't going there.

Zeff was looking at him oddly, but so far hadn't said anything. Sanji was grateful for that because he didn't think he was ever going to be in the mood to tell his old man just how big of a fuck up he was when it came to romancing. His old man would laugh, call him an idiot, and say 'I told you so' or something equally as annoying. Sanji didn't need that shit at all.

Really, it had been a miracle those assholes Patty and Carne weren't saying shit to him. Those two were like hawks, always watching him, picking up on any discomfort that Sanji showed, and they never failed to point out Sanji's mistakes to him and make him go from barely contained anger to full blown homicidal rage in seconds.

He looked up, shifting his eyes to scan why Patty and Carne weren't paying any attention to him at all. Sanji realized half the cooks were crowded around the back exit to the kitchen, in the alleyway where he often had to dump the garbage. Sanji raised an eyebrow. He looked at Zeff, the only chef still focused on the work at hand.

"What are they doing?"

Zeff rolled his eyes. "Being morons."

"I get that, but why are they all there? They having a meeting or something?"

"I don't know," he started off calmly, then started to raise his voice. "BUT IF THEY DON'T GET IN HERE I'M FIRING ALL OF THEM!"

Carne turned around, looking beyond amused. "You have to come out here." He said, beckoning them over with a wave of his hand.

Zeff narrowed his eyes. "You're fired."

Carne gave a pout. "Boss man, you're no fun." Deciding he wasn't going to change his mind anytime soon, he turned his efforts on Sanji. "Get over here, you have to see this."

Sanji narrowed his eyes, rolling up his sleeves as he stomped to him. "This better be good."

The other cooks made way for him see. There, in the alley was the cat that he had told Zoro about. It was swatting, hovering over bits of food that Sanji could only guess the kind hearted new Sous Chef threw out for him. There were other cats outside was well, three strays, trying to get some of the fish, but the cat crouched down on its haunches, hissing at all the other cats. When they made no move to leave, the cat gobbled down the food before any of them could get any. The greedy cat.

The rookie made a whining noise in the back of his throat, obviously upset that the other cats didn't get anything to eat anything. Poor guy, even after he made the effort to toss the food outside. Sanji frowned, upset as well. He never did like anyone going hungry, even if it was helpless alley cats under the rule of an evil cat.

He frowned at the cat. He looked at the rookie. "Hey, you still got some fish meat?"

The guy nodded, looking at Sanji with a dopey expression. Sanji stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Ok, I'll get the cat out of the way, feed the other cats."

Before the pimply new kid could say anything, Sanji stepped out into the alley, heading towards the cat.

"Hey Sanji! What are you doing man! It'll rip your balls off."

Somewhere he heard Patty snort and say he didn't have any to begin with, but he ignored them, making his way towards the cat who was already hissing at him.

[-]

The blond chef sat in his car, watching the cat as it tried to tear away at the leather seats of his car. Asshole cat. He had kicked its head in warning not to fuck shit up and for the most part it obeyed, except when it clawed at the upholstery and glared at Sanji with creepy yellow eyes that reminded him of someone.

His cell was in his hand and he had been having a staring contest with the cat while trying to decide if he should grow a pair and call Zoro. The cat hissed at him again, quiet upset and Sanji decided he couldn't put up with its shit any longer. He sighed and dialed Zoro's cell phone number, finally giving in because Sanji was anything but a coward.

"Cook," came the dullest voice Sanji ever had the displeasure of hearing on the other end.

"You busy?" he asked, getting right to the chase.

"Just at home. Why, what's up?"

"Mind if I stop by? I'm kinda out, just driving around," he didn't want to admit to the fact that he had been sitting in the parking lot of the Baratie for the past fifteen minutes, thinking about calling the marimo. "Thought I could swing by your place, if you're not busy."

Zoro paused on the other end, saying silent for a really long time. Sanji got the wrong idea from the pause. "Sorry, I should have known you were busy, I'll-"

"No it's not that," Zoro cut him off. "It's just that my roommates are home. If you don't mind them then you can come over."

Sanji snorted. "They can't be that bad." At the silence he felt nervous all over again. "Umm, whatever I'll be there like in ten minutes."

He got there in six minutes but no one was keeping track. At least, he hoped Zoro wasn't, or else he would look rather desperate. Sanji was just grateful Zoro didn't ask about it when he ringed the doorbell. Zoro's eyes had widened a fraction when he saw what was in his hands, and Sanji was sure that was as surprised a look as Zoro's face could manage because it seemed his face didn't like to move too much beyond occasional twitches.

"Cook?" Zoro asked, pointing to his scratched up arms, angry red lines visible on his pale skin. "Did he scratch your arm?"

"It's a she actually."

"So all females hate you do they?" he asked, leaning against the doorway, barely able to contain himself.

Sanji grinned. "Is Mihawk here?"

Zoro raised an eyebrow. It was unlike the cook to not say anything in retort, but he answered him anyways. "Yeah."

Sanji continued to smile. Zoro's face began to fall when he realized why Sanji had brought the seed of evil – or at least that's how Zoro viewed all cats – to his doorway. His face went from shock, to a look of betrayal, to anger. "The fuck cook, you come over for this?"

"For what Roronoa?" Mihawk asked, coming down the stairs.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Zoro thought miserably. To his horror, Mihawk was wearing another one of his extra fuzzy bathrobes, a piss yellow one to make things worst, and if Zoro's nose was betraying him, he had just gotten finished having his bubble bath. He usually reeked of vanilla and femininity when he got out of the bath.

"Nothing!" Zoro said quickly, in a higher pitch that he would ever admit, blocking Sanji with his body, trying to hide him from Mihawk.

"Boy, get out of the way," Mihawk said, narrowing his eyes.

Zoro's eyes went wide with panic and he did the only reasonable thing he could think of. He slammed the door shut on Sanji, not caring if he might have broken his nose in the process, and grinned madly at Mihawk. He knew his smile was probably as heart warming as Patrick Bateman's smile, but it was the only thing his face could manage at the moment. "That shit cook was just leaving, why don't you go into the kitchen. I can make tea!" he exclaimed. "Hell, I'm in a good mood! I'll even bake those cupcakes that you like. How does that sound old man?"

Mihawk's eyebrows furrowed. "That smile is creepy. Get it off your face now." If Zoro wasn't mistaken, Mihawk actually looked disgusted by him. He pushed at Zoro's shoulders, moving him out of the way. "And get out of the way, you're being rude."

He opened the door, and much to Zoro's disappointment, Sanji was still there, the cat in his arms, glaring at Zoro. The only good thing was that Zoro didn't break his nose, though, since he was still there, cat in arms, he was considering breaking the cook's nose himself.

"Asshole," Sanji gritted his teeth, glaring at Zoro, probably thinking similar thoughts about him. He turned to Mihawk, anger leaving his face, replaced with mild nervousness. "Um, hi. Zoro told me about your cat. I, uh, brought this little guy. Or girl, I should say." Zoro would have laughed at the cook's timid act towards Mihawk if he weren't so focused at directing bad vibes towards him. "I thought you might want him."

"It has rabies," Zoro cut in quickly. "Don't touch it old man! The cook's a freak, you can't trust him."

Mihawk ignored him, staring straight at the cat. Zoro and Sanji both were silent as they watched a silent exchange between Mihawk and the other yellow-eyed creep. Zoro knew no one would believe him, but Mihawk had actually stared down a cat. That never fucking happens.

The bundle of evil purred when Mihawk reached out to take it from Sanji's arms. The cat gave in, nestling into his chest. Then, Mihawk smiled. Actually smiled. Mihawk hadn't smiled since Satan's cat had died. Zoro supposed he was happy because he now had something in his life that he could lavish with affection and be generally less creepy around. Well, besides Shanks, but Zoro didn't want to think about that.

Mihawk looked away from his new cat, staring down at Sanji even while his hand was still caressing the cat. "You got her for me?"

"Yeah, well, she's always stopping by the Baratie and attacking the cooks when they offer tuna. I figured you would want her."

Mihawk's expression didn't give away anything and it sort of made Sanji uncomfortable. He didn't know how Zoro could live with a guy like that, but he remembered the marimo was almost as boring and expressionless as the man before him. Finally, though, Mihawk did break the silence. "Thank you."

He walked off with his cat, looking happier than Zoro had seen the man in months. Zoro frowned, after weeks of misery now he was back to his semi content self. Well, at least he didn't have to try and be nice to Mihawk or whatever Perona had said in the morning. He sighed, turning back to look at Sanji, still standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Uh, thanks cook. I guess, unless that thing starts attacking me."

Sanji grinned. "It's a win-win for me, your landlord is happy and you get to suffer."

"Right," Zoro nodded. "As a thank you I'd FedEx you a box of spiders

"Asshole! I said we were never to talk about it!" he yelled. "There's a special place in hell for you I'm sure."

Zoro smirked. "Don't act like you're not going there either." He opened the door wider. "Come inside already cook, your freaking me out with your lurking." Sanji huffed, pushing his way inside, making a point to bump shoulders with Zoro as he strolled past him. Zoro snorted, shutting the door after him. "You want something to drink?"

"As long as it's not alcohol, then yes."

"Lightweight," he grinned, moving to the kitchen. He opened the fridge, making a face. "We have water and orange juice."

"Water's fine," Sanji said, pulling out a chair from the kitchen table, taking a seat. Zoro joined him, sitting in front of him, handing Sanji a bottle of water, popping open own can of beer, grinning at Sanji.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "How you can still drink is beyond me marimo," he said, taking a sip of his water. "You damn alcoholic."

Zoro smirked at him. "Yeah, well, I drink too much to give it up."

"I could refer some recovery programs for you."

Zoro shrugged. "I don't see you quitting smoking anytime soon. Takes more lives than drinking you know."

"Yeah, I know that grandpa."

They sat around for a while, doing nothing but throwing insults at each other. Sanji couldn't really bring himself to saying the reason why he was actually there. The cat had been a sort of coincidence. When he got the cat he planned on taking it to a shelter or somewhere where the cat wouldn't fuck up any more of his cooks.

When he had managed to wrestle the cat to the ground and capture it, he had thought of the idea of giving it to Mihawk. Making Zoro suffer was an added bonus, but he had gone to his place to talk to him. So far, he had only managed on pissing him off by calling him unflattering names and occasionally kicking him under the table.

They were in the middle of punching and kicking each other when they heard someone clear their throat. They looked over, seeing Perona standing there staring at them, looking unamused by their antics. Zoro put the chair down that he had raised over his head, he had planned o knocking out the cook with. He cleared his own throat, thinking he might have gone too far with that. Though Sanji did threaten to stab him with his knives.

Perona shook her head. "I should have known all the noise was because of you guys."

"Sorry," they both grumbled, sitting back down, trying to pretend nothing happened.

Perona huffed, moving to sit next to Zoro, punching the back of his head. "You're not here to drink are you?" she asked Sanji.

Sanji shook his head. "No my dear, I'm not as much as an alcoholic as the marimo."

Perona eyed Zoro, then realization hit her. "Oh God, you got him drunk last night didn't you?"

Zoro noticed how Sanji visibly tensed. So he did remember. "Yeah, but it's not so bad. He doesn't throw up like you do."

"Shut up!" she yelled, slapping him across the face.

Zoro grumbled, rubbing at his cheek where a nasty red face was etched on his face. He could tell Sanji was trying hard not to laugh. He threw him a glare, then Sanji lost it, laughing hard and holding his stomach. The other two sat in silence, watching as the blond laughed hysterically. They didn't join in because they knew Mihawk had a weird thing against laughter in his house. It was a wonder Shanks was even let inside.

When Sanji's laughter died down he looked at them, embarrassed over having been the only one laughing at the marimo's behalf. They got to talking for a bit. Perona mostly asked Sanji about how drunk he had gotten and called Zoro a monster. Perona exchanged more embarrassing stories about Zoro, such as the time he slept through an earthquake, even if the entirety of his bookshelf over his bed fell on him. Zoro got back at her, telling the story of how she broke her arm falling down the stairs when she thought she saw a cockroach.

Perona looked at Sanji after a bit. "I bet Zoro didn't ask because he's rude, but do you want to stay for dinner?"

"That sounds nice darling, but I must get going," Sanji said, standing from his seat. "My old man wants me to work the dinner shift tonight. One of the new guys caught a cold or something."

They nodded, standing and seeing him to the door. They stood there, watching him leave, backing his car out of the driveway, driving out of their neighborhood. Perona and Zoro were left staring as they watched the cook cuss at some guy who honked at him. From where they were they could see him ahead roll down his window and flick someone else off.

"I'm surrounded by homosexuals," Perona said. "First Mihawk, now you."

"Shut it Perona," Zoro said, stepping back inside the house. He headed upstairs, planning on going to his room and doing something that didn't involve being around Perona. He grumbled when he heard her following him. He would have walked faster but she would have probably jumped on his back and make him carry her.

"When are you gonna ask him out, Zoro?"

"The day your laugh doesn't scare children."

"My laugh doesn't scare children!" she argued.

"Whatever, now leave me alone, I have working out to do," he said, heading towards his room where he planned on doing ass loads of push up and sit ups until his muscles ached and his body odor became a problem.

"Zoro! You're so boring!" she whined, hitting his arm and moving to sit on his bed before he could slam on the door on her face. "Start dating someone so we have double dates," she smiled, kicking her skinny legs in the leg, looking as mature as Luffy.

"That will never, ever happen," he said, settling on the floor, bending his legs at the knee, planning on doing sit ups even if she was bugging him.

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Doubt it."

"At least get some nookie."

He stopped in the middle of his thirtieth sit up, looking at her. "This because of Buggy?"

She grinned. "Yes."

"How long are you going to stay mad at me?"

"Until the day I get married."

"That is if I don't warn the poor bastard about what he's getting into," he muttered going back to his exercises. He planned on getting extra sweaty, thus driving her out of his room. It just sucked that it tended to take a while for his body to actually start to sweat.

"Shut it!" she yelled. She flopped herself on his bed, staring at the ceiling, her pink hair surrounding her pale head. "Come on, double dates will be fun," she said, trying to convince him, even if a double date with her sounded almost as much fun as being forced to go to a spa with Mihawk. It was a good thing Mihawk promised he wouldn't make him go there ever again.

"Go on one with Mihawk and Shanks!" he said. "If you want to go on a double date so bad, just ask him. I'm sure Shanks would say yes."

"No! Shanks always wants to get me drunk."

"If he wasn't so gay I would call the cops on him."

"Zoro, quit picking on Perona," Mihawk called from somewhere in the house. His voice calling out like the raging voice of an angry God. "And don't talk that way about Shanks, however true it may be."

Perona smiled, sticking her tongue out at him. It took every iota of control he had not to kill Perona. He hated when Mihawk took her side. It was the reason she was so spoiled.

[-]

His Black Flag CD was playing, and of course Perona was complaining that she hated Black Flag. That only made him up the volume to drown out her nagging, which was even worst in the mornings. He had no tolerance for her bullshit just fresh from sleep, especially not when he was on his way to work.

"Driver picks the music. Passenger can shove it."

Eventually she gave up and crossed her arms, trying to look intimidating, but she just managed to look constipated. Zoro was just happy she had finally shut the hell up. Ever since Buggy she had been giving him hell. No matter how many times he told her he did her a favor by stopping her from dating a fucking clown her anger didn't seem to subside.

_We've got nothing better to do than watch TV and have ourselves a brew_.

"Christ, this song is like the anthem for you and Sanji. All you do it watch movies and drink."

He shuddered at the thought but really couldn't argue with her. It was more accurate than he would ever admit to though. They got to work after ten minutes of silence. During that time _Slip It In _was on and made them both uncomfortable so he quickly turned off his radio.

Perona gave him a look. "Pervert."

"Get the hell out of my car."

After setting up the place and cleaning it up a bit, Perona went in the back to do her thing, turning on the radio and blasting shitty music. Zoro grumbled, checking to see what flowers needed to be arranged. As usual, there were flower orders from the Fullbody guy. Lately, the Duval guy had been making orders out for himself. Last time Zoro went to see him the guy kept asking him if he thought he was handsome. Zoro had muttered a half assed agreement and the guy had given him a huge tip so Zoro didn't mind.

Zoro wrote down the orders and the disgustingly disturbing things those guys thought were romantic love letter and headed over to Perona. She smiled, barely able to contain herself. "Are any of them good?"

He shrugged. "Duval requested I call him sexy this time, but nothing other than that."

Her whole body arched back as he laughed, thoroughly enjoying the fact that he had to go around feeding that guy's ego. "Can I go with you today?"

"No. You can't remember?" he asked her. "Even if I could bring you with me, that answer is still no."

She frowned. "You suck." She started taking out the flowers she needed, and Zoro pulled a stool and watched her work. The mornings were usually slow, and after cleaning he really didn't have much to do expect man the place until Mihawk or Shanks showed up.

"Is he hot at least?" she asked, arranging the sunflower bouquet that Duval ordered for himself. The sunflowers reminded him of his sunny smile or some shit like that.

Zoro shrugged. "He's ok."

She grinned. "Is he a blond?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yes, he is."

She started giggling, and Zoro had to control himself from throwing something at her. He sat in silence, watching her as she started to work on the bouquets and arrangements, frowning at some of the piles of flowers that were starting to brown around the petals.

Perona set those flowers to the side, planning on throwing those away. They usually died way faster than the others. When she was done with the arrangements, she wiped down the counter, throwing away those flowers. It was when they hit the trashcan that Zoro was hit with an idea.

Zoro picked them up, scooping them from the taste. "Hey Perona, do me a favor and tie these up for me will you?"

"They're dying," Perona said, giving him attitude. Then she threw him a glare. "Please tell me you're not going to put these on your mother's grave."

"It's not for that retard! What kind of shitty son do you think I am?" he asked. "It's for something else."

She gasped. "Don't put these on Dracula's grave, Mihawk will kill you."

"It's not for a grave idiot, I'm not that fucked up," he yelled. "Now fix them up, I want to take these with me before I leave."

She made a face, pursing her lips. "I have no idea what you're using these for, but I won't ask. Not like I'll ever understand what goes on in that little head of yours."

"Likewise."

[-]

He found the Baratie after about twenty minutes of driving through downtown like a common tourist boob. Zoro was still mad about the stupid city, the damn buildings seemed to move on their own. He had to park his car about two blocks away from the shitty restaurant because the fucking place was so damn crowded, and it didn't help that the Baratie was in downtown, where parking was always a bitch.

Zoro walked through the doors and the place was just as fancy as Sanji described. The place was nice enough; thick marble pillars against the walls, obviously ocean themed, if the giant fish outside wasn't enough of a hint. There were paintings of the sea were on every fucking wall, and all the accents were blue. The napkins, and table cloths, everything was freaking blue.

Above his head were nice looking chandeliers. He looked back down at the tables, noticing that even the fucking utensils looked more expensive than his rent. He frowned. No wonder the cook was such a prissy bastard.

The guy in the front looked him up and down. He was dressed in a suit and a bow tie, his smile somewhere between pleasant and sorry. "Excuse me sir," he said sadly. "But the homeless shelter is down the street."

Zoro's eyes widened, then he looked down at himself. He wasn't that bad! "I'm not fucking homeless asshole," Zoro said, barely containing his hatred for the guy in check. "I'm looking for eyebrows."

"Eyebrows?" the man asked, leaning forward, making sure he wasn't hearing things. Or to make sure he wasn't actually a crazy homeless man.

"Sanji," Zoro quickly corrected himself. He always forgot eyebrows actually had a name besides prince and eyebrows. "I meant Sanji."

"Who's looking for Sanji?"

Zoro turned around and saw some tall dude with a shaved, smirking at him. He had the waiter's uniform on but had an apron on as well. He seemed vaguely amused by Zoro's eyebrow comment. "I am," Zoro said.

The guy looked him up and down and Zoro was getting sick of that. What the hell was wrong with him? Sure he wasn't in a suit but it wasn't like he actually dressed like a homeless guy. The guy settled on his head, then broke into a smile. "You're the marimo guy!"

"Excuse me?" Zoro asked, gripping the near dead flowers tightly in his hand, making some petals fall to the ground. He briefly wondered if he hit the guy hard enough if it would hurt. He doubted it, considering his only weapon was a bouquet.

"Sanji mentioned you once," the guy said, continuing to smile and inspect Zoro another time. "Yeah, he told me you dressed funny too."

Zoro growled, narrowing his eyes at the asshole. Was everyone that worked at the Baratie a complete tumbling dick weed? "Is he here or what?"

The guy smirked. "Yeah, he's working in the back, follow me."

He started walking off, past the tables with customers and Zoro followed him. It was the first time he had gone to visit Sanji at his work and he was already starting to regret it. The guy kept looking over his shoulder to smirk at him. "What's your name anyways?"

"Zoro."

"Ah. You are him," he began to chuckle. "I thought so, not many guys dye their hair green."

"Done picking on my style or you wanna take a crack about my face too?" he asked.

"Touchy," he said, shaking his head, even if his smirk betrayed that he was mildly amused. "Though I was about to mention your eye-"

Zoro groaned. Fucking asshole, he had been sarcastic. He tried tuning him out when he began to mention his earrings and asking why they were all on one side. Zoro had been walking behind the guy for twenty seconds and he already wanted to kill him. He hoped the kitchen was close.

[-]

Carne was standing by the kitchen door, looking through the porthole. He saw Patty walking towards the kitchen, some punk in tow. He already knew who he was and was grinning so wide Zeff made a mental note to do a drug test soon. "Patty's bringing a guy in here!" he exclaimed.

"Who?"

"Is it a health inspector? What does he look like?"

Carne grinned, holding up his cell phone. "Hey Sanji, it's Zoro. The marimo guy you nosebleed about."

"What?" Sanji asked, nearly dropping his knife. Normally he would have flung his knife at Carne for making such a comment, but he was still having trouble believing the moss ball was at the Baratie. He narrowed his eye, reading the text on Carne's phone. Sure enough, Patty texted him that Zoro was coming. "Seriously? Texting each other when you're fucking five meters away?"

"Zoro?" some of the cooks stared to ask, gasping a little. "We gotta see!"

They all ran to the door, all of them trying to peek through the small window. Not all of the cooks could see through the porthole so they settled for Carne and another cook to describe what Zoro looked like. "He has the Joker hair and the body of Brad Pitt, like in Fight Club." Carne said. "But he dresses like he's homeless."

Some of the cooks made a face, their faces scrunching up like they had tasted something sour. "That doesn't sound very attractive at all."

Sanji was leaning against the stove, sighing dramatically as he rubbed at his temples. Zoro couldn't have picked a worst time to visit him. He looked to his side, where Zeff continued to work, but was obviously paying attention.

"Heath Ledger hair?" one of the cooks asked hopefully.

Carne shook his head. "More like Cesar Romero hair."

The cooks faces became even more scrunched, to the point the all looked like walking raisins. One had the audacity to make a face at Sanji. "Sanji, why do you like this guy?"

Sanji furrowed his brows. "Why don't I fire you all? Get back to work!" he pointed to the unmanned stoves.

They all grumbled, moving back to their stations. It didn't matter though, Patty came bursting in with Zoro not a seconds later. The cooks all grinned at Zoro, which made a more than uncomfortable. It didn't help when Patty patted his shoulder. "Hey Sanji! Broccoli head is here!"

The two glared at him. Zoro rolled off the hand on his shoulder and walked towards Sanji, trying to ignore all the cooks staring at him. It was really starting to weird him out. Zeff eyed him. "Who the hell are you and why are you in my kitchen broccoli head?"

"I'm Zoro," he stuck out his hand. "I'm here for the curly brow."

Zeff took his offered hand while he eyed him. He was busying taking in his appearance, a little disturbed by his taste in clothing, not really getting what a fashion diva like his son was doing lusting after a homeless guy. The only upside was the he didn't smell like a homeless guy and he was actually shaven.

Zoro on the other hand was busy staring at his moustache. It was huge. And braided. His hat was even bigger, so big it looked like it had a life of it's own, like it was from Mars. He half expected Gene Hunt to pop out of nowhere and try to explore the damn thing.

Luckily, Sanji appeared by Zoro's side, saving them both from an awkward fumble of trying to start a conversation. "Hey, old man, this is Zoro. Zoro this is my old man." Before either man could say anything, Sanji was already pushing Zoro out the alleyway, away from everyone else. "Marimo, let's talk outside. Yes?"

Zoro offered a weak smile to Zeff before allowing himself to be dragged outside. Sanji shut the door after him, not quite shutting it quick enough to block out the cook's moans of disappointment. "You ever let them set outside for fresh air shit cook? I felt like they hadn't seen another human."

Sanji huffed, lighting a cigarette. "They were just surprised, they all thought the swamp thing was just a legend."

Zoro rolled his eyes, leaning against the brick wall. Sanji looked him up and down. He was wearing a t-shirt with another shark. He didn't know if the guy really had a thing for sharks or what, but he had seen him wear a shark shirt at least three times now, and they were never the same. The one he had one at the moment featured the shark screaming that he had no arms. Whenever Sanji asked where in hell did he find those shirts Zoro always said Bloomingdales, the sarcastic bastard. He looked down and noticed the flowers.

"What are the flowers for?" Zoro smirked, handing him a bouquet of Lilies. "What the fuck? I'm not a girl."

He snorted. "Debatable, but I thought you should have them. I saw them and thought of you."

Sanji brought the bouquet to his nose and smelled them. "So what's a white lily mean?"

"It symbolizes virginity."

The cook slapped Zoro with the lilies, catching Zoro off guard and using that to his advantage and kneeing him in the stomach. "Asshole, you come to bother me at work for this?"

"Thought you liked flowers," Zoro said, rubbing his stomach where Sanji had kneed him.

"This!" He yelled, waving the flowers in Zoro's face, "are not flowers! They'll be dead in two days!"

"It was either give them to you or throw them away. Look on the bright side, you can make potpourri out of them, I'm sure your flaming gay ass would enjoy that." He shrugged. "Plus, they grow out of the fucking ground, not like I could get you new ones when they die."

"That has got to be the least romantic thing I have ever heard," he said. "Plus, I'm not flaming gay!"

"Please, you're easily an eight on the Kinsey Scale."

"There is no eight on the Kinsey Scale!"

"Maybe a nine."

"That doesn't even make sense your moron," Sanji snapped. He didn't know if he should thank the bastard for taking time out of his day to make the least romantic gesture ever or to kick him again for being a complete tool. He was in the middle of trying to decide what to do when Zoro pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning on, giving Sanji a look.

"Anyways cook, I gotta get back to work. Mihawk will have my balls if I'm not back soon."

"Thank fucking Christ, I was beginning to wonder if you'll leave."

"Yeah, and you really should get back to manning the microwave." He made a show of sniffing the air. "Do I smell something burning?"

"Get lost asshole," Sanji said, pushing him back towards the kitchen. If the marimo tried to walk around the building he would get lost for sure. He wasn't all too surprised to find half the staff waiting by the door, obviously having been listening in to their conversation. Sanji was just grateful Zoro was running the hell out of the place.

He pushed Zoro towards the door. "Get out. I have work to do, since these assholes aren't doing jack shit!" he yelled, throwing looks at the cooks as he walked past them.

"Still on for drinking tonight shit cook?" Zoro asked, looking over his shoulder, since Sanji still had his hands on his back, pushing him out while still holding the bouquet.

"Yeah, fine, just get the fuck out."

He finally got him out the door - Zoro hadn't made an effort to walk on his own, making Sanji push him out – and watched him walk out the place, waving over his shoulder. "Oi! Shitty marimo, if you want to drink you bring your own alcohol! I ran out because of you!" he yelled after him.

"Whatever you say shit cook."

Sanji grumbled. Of all the times he had to call him shit cook, it had to be at his work. He frowned, hoping that Zoro would get lost outside and be extra late in going back to work. He headed to his station next to Zeff, thankful all the cooks were back at work, probably because of the old man.

Carne and Patty of course were the ones who broke the silence first, teasing him about the flowers and began to give him dating tips, which he really didn't need. If anything, the moss ball desperately needed them, not him. After Zeff barked orders for them to shut up, things got quiet again. Well, Patty and Carne went on to tease the new guy, which thankfully got the attention off of him.

Zeff eyed him as he worked. After some intense staring, Zeff whispered in a low voice so the others couldn't hear. "He seems nice," he said simply. After a while he added, "In a Ted Bundy sort of way."

Sanji sighed. "Great."

[-]

Zoro was let inside after three knocks and some threats. He had thought about breaking down the door but knew the cook would make him pay for the damages since he was such an asshole. When the cook did open the door he gave him a once over before heading to his balcony, saying he had interrupted his cigarette break.

Break from what, Zoro had no idea. Either way, he followed him out, noticing the flowers he had given him earlier were in a vase filled with water. He smirked and made his way outside where they both sat on the couch while Sanji re-lit his cigarette and smoked the rest, flicking it on his ashtray between puffs.

"Did you bring your own booze asshole? I told you I ran out, and I'm done supporting your alcoholic ways."

"I paid half of it last time asshole," he grumbled, sliding further down on the coach. "And no, I didn't bring any alcohol."

"Cheap bastard.

Zoro stayed silent. Sanji eyed him, but stayed silent at well, watching Zoro stare at the street with a blank expression. Sanji shrugged, taking a deep drag from his cigarette, deciding it was best to ignore him and let him be.

"Let's go out to dinner tonight."

Sanji almost choked on his cigarette, which was never good. After he was done coughing, he looked at Zoro. "Dinner? Like a date?"

"Yeah," Zoro rolled his eyes. "_Like a date_."

"Wait, you're asking me out?"

"No shit for brains, I just really like watching you choke on your cigarette."

"You say it like it's such an honor. Why don't you try asking me nicely ass-hat? God, you're so unromantic it's physically painful."

Zoro sighed. "Would you, blond shit cook, like to go out on a date with me?"

Sanji smirked and titled his head, exhaling a thin stream of smoke. "I don't know, I'll think about it."

"Agh, you girl."

Sanji smiled to himself as he stared at the cars below, watching some guy get out of his car to chase a pigeon out of the way so he wouldn't have to run it over. "If your gonna call me a girl you should treat me like one then. When you pick me up for out date I want flowers. Ones that aren't dying. You will open doors for me, pull out my chair and tell me how good I look in regulated five-minute intervals. Since you asked me out, you're paying. Those are the rules anyway. Also, I demand you put on something nice."

"You're a kinky bastard."

Sanji snorted. "Like you wouldn't believe," he said. "But I do expect you to act somewhat civilized in public. Asking you to be a gentleman would be too much for you."

"Zoro act like gentleman for eyebrow," he said in a deeper voice than usual, dragging out the words in a monotone.

"Oh, the caveman can joke. Charming."

"I joke."

"Could have fooled me. This is the first time I've heard you crack a joke, humorless marimo."

"Well, prepared to be charmed even more on our date shit for brains," he said, letting his head fall back on the couch's headrest. He closed his eyes, relaxing into the lumpy couch. "I'll be nice to you because you're forced to act way better than usual on first dates. You can talk endlessly about your work and I'll pretend to listen. Then I'll tell you a sad sob story about my past so I can land me some sex," he grinned. The bastard was grinning at his own jokes.

"You're actually a bigger douche than you lead on," Sanji laughed humorlessly to himself, crushing the last of his cigarette. "You know, I was supposed to ask all these things about you. Get to know you, because when my old man asked about you I realized I didn't know much about you expect where you work and that you're a hopeless alcoholic." He looked at Zoro's profile. "When I did ask you stuff, you never answered."

Zoro opened his eyes to look at him. "Well that's what dates are for, right? Getting to know me, behaving properly even if you're a mannerless ape." Zoro waved a hand in the air. "Pretending to care about things, being sensitive and all that crap."

"Speak for yourself, you're the only mannerless ape here," he said. He leaned back on his couch, sighing. "Especially with the shit you pulled a few days ago, leaving without telling me shit. I had no idea if you pissed off or what, I was suffering for days wondering if we were still ok."

"Sorry about that," Zoro said. He actually had the nerve to look like he was sorry. "It was a fucked up thing to do, I should have said something instead of leaving you hanging."

He looked at Zoro. "Hell yeah it was fucked up. For fuck's sake, will it kill you to have a few facial expressions? You're like a fucking Vulcan," he sighed under his breath. "That morning I seriously couldn't tell what you were thinking or anything."

Zoro rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well, I didn't kiss you back or say anything because I thought you were piss drunk. Then morning rolled around and I was pretty sure you didn't remember anything, so yeah."

"You could have brought it up! I was tripping balls man."

"How could I have brought it up? Say, shit cook, do you remember last night? When you slobbered all over my face? Oh, you don't? Just forget about it."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I meant you could have asked in a more subtle way, but I can see why you didn't," he muttered. "It's fine anyways, I'm over it."

"Good," Zoro said. "I was worried you were going to start acting like a pansy."

"Make jokes," Sanji said glaring at Zoro. "My co-workers said you look like Cesar Romero because of your damn hair."

"Whatever, that's way better than what I used to get. I used to get called George Hamilton."

"Because of the tan?" Sanji asked.

"That too," Zoro said, almost as if he were in pain. "But my name doesn't help either."

"Oh! Because of Zoro."

"Yeah," Zoro muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hey, going back to the topic of our date, where are you going to take me?"

"Burger King," he broke into a grin. "Only the best for you darling. I know how much you love fast food."

"Die in your sleep."

"Come on eyebrows, everyone knows if I go too fancy on the first date then you gotta put out."

"I have to put out shit!" he said, snarling his upper lip. "_Girls_ gotta put out."

"You are kind of butch."

"Make one more girl joke and I'm going to land on you like a sumo wrestler."

"Sorry," Zoro muttered. "Lipstick, whatever."

"The way you're going, you'll never get laid dude."

"I don't have to worry about that, you've been wanting to shtup me or have me shtup you longer than I have."

"Say another smart ass comment and I'll kick your sorry ass off my balcony."

"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I wouldn't want you getting all worked up, I know how you smokers get." He saw Sanji glaring at him. Zoro sighed. "Ah come on, this is fun," he said with the biggest grin that ever graced his features.

Sanji patted down his pockets, taking out his cigarettes. He packed them on his palm before taking one out, putting the rest back in his pocket. After lighting his cigarette he exhaled away from Zoro, knowing he hated the smell. They sat there in silence for bit before a thought occurred to Sanji. "What made you ask me out on a date anyway?" he asked.

Zoro shrugged. "Sucker for flat chested blondes."

"Still being an asshole huh?"

Zoro lolled his head on his shoulder to look at him. "Us dating isn't going to change anything."

Sanji frowned around his cigarette. "How fucking romantic." He stepped on Zoro's foot. "But yes I know you colossal asshole." He exhaled. "You're the least romantic gay guy I have ever met."

"Bi," Zoro corrected. "And don't mention any of this to Perona."

"Wait, how come?"

Zoro gave him a look. "Perona already drags me to malls and makes me go to spas with her and Mihawk. If she even suspects that I'm the tiniest bit gay what else do you think she'll do to me? And I don't need her stupid questions." He ran a hand through his hair. "That's something I'm not prepared for." Sanji grinned, then starting laughing. "What?"

"I don't know how I didn't notice you were into guys sooner!" Sanji laughed. "A gay guy-"

"Bi asshole."

"-working in a flower shop. How stereotypical can you be?" Sanji asked.

"Shut your mouth asshole."

"What? You couldn't get a job as a hair dresser?" he started to laugh some more. "I mean, not just that, but your best friend is a girl. I'm surprised you don't wear scarves."

Zoro narrowed his eyes and pushed the cook off the couch, making him land ungracefully with a loud thud. "Oops," he muttered.

Sanji was still laughing as he sat up, smiling like an idiot. Zoro rolled his eyes, ignoring the cook as he took a seat next to him, muttering and laughing all by himself. Zoro did snap at him to shut up but it didn't work, in fact, the cook laughed harder, kicking his feet in the air as he held his stomach, laughing uncontrollably. His only comfort was watching a woman give them a worried expression and start to tug her daughter along with her faster down the street.

"Hey cook, we've been out here for a few hours now. Go put on something nice so I can take your tit-less ass out to dinner."

"About time your marimo ass pay for something," he muttered putting out his cigarette. "And speak for yourself, Patty told me that the guy in front thought you were fucking homeless."

"Che, your workers are retarded." He heard Sanji snort but ignored him. "Whatever, hurry up cook, I'm starving."

After Sanji got his suit jacket they headed out, deciding to get in Zoro's truck because Zoro always complained about Sanji's driving, or lack of driving skills. That and Sanji didn't want to risk getting another ticket. Zoro started his car and Sanji reached over to turn on his radio. He had forgotten he had left his Black Flag CD in, and that it had been playing _Slip It In_ right when the girl was moaning.

Sanji sat in his seat quietly for a bit, sniffing back the trail of blood that threatened to fall out from his nostrils. He turned towards Zoro to give him a look. "You can no longer call me a pervert."

Zoro snorted. "You listen to worse."

"I do not," Sanji argued, sounding offended.

"Benny Benassi," Zoro said, giving him a pointed look.

Sanji frowned. "Fine, you win."

Zoro smirked, pulling out of the parking lot of Sanji's apartment, planning on driving Sanji to Burger King just to piss him off. Sanji turned to look at him, almost as if he had read his mind. "What?"

"Hey marimo, don't crash."

"Che, I drive way better than you-" Zoro swerved the car and almost hit the car in the opposite lane when Sanji leaned over, placing a hand on his thigh and licked his ear. "The fuck cook!?"

Sanji sat back in his seat, shrugging. "Just a preview of what's to come if you behave yourself."

Zoro grumbled, hand wiping the saliva on his ear. He sighed. He was going to take the cook somewhere nicer for their date.

[-]

END

Yes, this is the end.


End file.
